Sometimes....is it better to be less specific???? - Mustang Evolution

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Old 03-17-2010, 10:30 AM   #1
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Sometimes....is it better to be less specific????

The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES.
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.

OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB.
100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

AND NOW FOR THE BEST OF THE LOT:
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 negotiable. No longer needed. Recently
married; wife knows everything.
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Old 03-17-2010, 11:06 AM   #2
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Sometimes....is it better to be less specific????

Are these for real! Quite a collection Thanks for the joy of
humorous laughter, this is a keeper to recycle. By the time I got to the Italian sofa, I thought I was laughed out, that one
brought a roar. The last one was, Oh! Boy, The honeymoon
is over----------Thanxs
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Old 03-17-2010, 11:46 AM   #3
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Sometimes....is it better to be less specific????

These were absolutely wonderful. And ever so Senior.

When I was younger, I was driving by a Church in Indiana, and I swear, the sign out front read: "Do You Know What Hell Is? Come Hear Our Organist".
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Old 03-17-2010, 12:23 PM   #4
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So funny!!!! Thanks for the chuckles this morning!
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Old 03-17-2010, 01:10 PM   #5
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I like the one about the gay bull lol.
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Old 03-17-2010, 01:14 PM   #6
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Those are so funny!!! Thanks for some great laughs!!!
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Old 03-17-2010, 02:08 PM   #7
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Nothing like a good daily chuckle..the Elmo one is my favorite.....here's one for you.

My local paper:
Foundne small terrier mix..about 8 pounds..female...golden red with white paws..one gold eye, one brown....
.....call to identify.
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Old 03-17-2010, 03:08 PM   #8
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You're on a roll -- thanks yuk
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Old 03-17-2010, 03:42 PM   #9
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Thanks for the laughs.
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Old 03-17-2010, 04:29 PM   #10
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LOVE IT. those are great. never see any good ones around these parts.
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Old 03-17-2010, 05:11 PM   #11
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Sometimes....is it better to be less specific????

Those reminded me of a classic ad which once appeared in the Village Voice newspaper in Greenwich Village:
"After seven years of careful preparation towards being a concert pianist, I am now prepared to offer my services as a baby sitter".
I guess he flunked the audition. LOL!
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Old 03-17-2010, 05:15 PM   #12
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Touche' you have started my day off good....
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Old 03-17-2010, 05:45 PM   #13
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funny----thanks........sad thing is, some people will not even notice and will repond to ads.....
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Old 03-17-2010, 06:36 PM   #14
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Sometimes....is it better to be less specific????

Thanks Sid ! I was wondering where you had gotten to. These are a riot, especially the one about the parachute.
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Old 03-17-2010, 06:56 PM   #15
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These should definitely have been less specific. lol Some good ones there, '1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog', that's hilarious! lol
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Old 03-17-2010, 07:56 PM   #16
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So cute. I advertised for homes for a litter of kittens this way:

My momma was the neighborhood hussy and papa was a rolling stone, we need homes, papa is not paying child support, we cannot locate him. He must be cute, cause I sure am!
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:16 PM   #17
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excellent sid !!!

wondered where your jokes had run off to

need more boudreaux !!!
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:17 PM   #18
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Great stuff !!

How bout this one from a small town radio on-air 'Swapmart' . A farmer called in to sell 20 ewes of his herd . They put him on the air and he says " I got 20 EEE-WEES for sale" . True Story .
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:33 PM   #19
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Those are great. Someone sent me a picture of a septic tank cleaning service's truck -- the license plate was POOPUMPER.
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