Join Date: Aug 2009
What should i do if i don't hate my Ex Girlfriend but care about her?
She was first girlfriend right when i started college. For 2 years wev'e had alot of moments together. The night i confessed my feelings, i was worried about lack of experience. Since she had been with me, Ive changed her lief dramaticly. Before, her bf would steal from the house, disrespect the family, and all the things that made her cry. About a month or so, I felt uneasy, distracted,unresponsive and doubtful. I was busy juggling school, work , gf and relationship. You can say the spark was dimming from my doubts about her.
2 weeks from this day, she called to talk to me in her car. She broke up with me due to us not being close, similar, and her not making me happy. I told her that i was wokring on being more expressive of my emotions and being romantic but, she said it was already too late. The worst part, she sorta liked the guy i sorta know named Oj. She told be she will never forget what i did for her. Those years Ive seen her grow from a plain girl to a bloosoming beautiful woman. I gave up my virginity to her in the first year of college and i dont regret it.
Later on in the days i asked who her partner was, it took her 3 minutes to tell me it was Oj and she wanted to know him. Basicly he was stealing my placein the relationship. The guy is 5'7, too emotional, bugged the hella out of all the girls trying t ask them out. Im 5'10, I workout, do kung fu, barely play videogames, nice, guy,etc.
Its like she left a mustang for a pony.
On monday morning, i talk to the mom telling her if she still wanted me to perform for the younger sisters 18th bday. The mom woke her up which i didnt want so i can give her space. When we both finally talk she tells me she has no feelings for me at all and tired of dealing of me showing no graditude. I tell her i can fix it but she wont even look at me. I leave the house to cut my hair and go home. Phone rings and she is crying. I ask what happened, her mom lectured her about how she did things improperly and it no seems she is jus jumping to another guy. When the invitations were made it had me and her name as partners. She told m she didnt deserve me, I wasnt angry or sad but jus clear minded. Once i hear she felt like cutting herself, i told her im driving back to her house to console her. When she opened the door she went to the bathroom. She came out of the bathroom and she was gonna collapse infront of me. Quickly grabbed her, and laid her on her bed. I sat on the chair consoling her so she can calm down.
She kisses my bicep and i kiss her fore head while rubbing her back to make her feel better. I leave the house as soon as she falls asleep.
Since last friday, I havent been getting sleep, did not feel hunger, deeply depressed and angry about why i was betrayed. Tuesday all my friends know about the brake up and her cheating on me. I heard from a friend that they kissed. Right when i heard those words, my eyes blurred, got up sliding the chair, kicked the chair,said **** and gawd outloud in the cafeteria, looked around a bit and everyone in the cafeteria was silent, and got the chair and sat back down to hear more. A bunch of us go to lunch so i can cool down and i go to my friends house. he gives me insight and said that god must be saying that she was not the one and i deserve better. I drive to her house to get closure. I thought i was calm, just wanted the truth out of her. Told her she doenst know the meaning of love, won't give forgive her now, and lastly said she will never find a proper bf or husband if she's too flirty and immature. Tell her younger sister i wont be coming to the house anymore, she was in tears. Was about to tell the other sister but my ex kicked me out cause i tolde them to look out for her and oj cuts himself being insecure. During my healing process, I felt bad what i did on tuesday so i go over and talk to another couple we double dated with. Soon as i was talking about my felings of betrayal, the lies, the cheating, i began to cry. Told them i did all i can in my ability to care for her. For some reason even though she cheated on me i dont hate even but car about her. My friends Gf, tells me that i deserve better and i can find a better person. I finally got my head cleared by working out, cook, doing homework and most of all talk to friends about my problem. Right now Oj is giving the attention that she wants instead of reflecting like i have done. Its two years of a relationship, how can you simply ignore that?
For some time i was actually working on my needs and whati wanted done. I guess I can hope in a couple months she realises what she lost and come back but, she will have to earn my trust and prove her love to me. If not, there is alo of women eyeing me all over L.A.
What should i do when im the victim and still care for her? I mean i had strong intent to kill the guy, but now he's jus a coward whos been in theshadows sending her mesages. I could find another woman to hook up with and possibly change her