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Old 02-07-2013, 08:32 PM   #1
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Crushed by American Muscle not loving Canadians!

Dear John,

I just wanted to say, you break my heart into little pieces. I love you so much and you just don't love me back. I try so hard to give you my whole world and you just pretend I don't even exist. I'm nothing in your eyes and I know I will never compare to the love you feel at home but I want you to know, no... I need you to know that I love you. I would do anything for you. I would kill for you. I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!

So this is it. I can't take any more of your indifference. I'm going to move on, I'm going to find someone new. But know that no one will ever replace you in my eyes. No one.

I can't play your games any more. You won't even let me play.

I'm done, American Muscle. You've broken my heart for the last time.

Signed
A Canadian Who Can't Win Raffles, Sweepsteaks, or even a free Calendar.





(And in case anyone worries that this was written in some sort of serious tone, it's not. Pure satire. Sure, I'm busted up that I'll never win a prize from AM, but what can you do? You write sappy break-up letters and move on. PS - I love you!)
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:35 PM   #2
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I am a bit emotional after reading that.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:38 PM   #3
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Couldn't stop laughing man, great post. My advice to you is "If you love something, let it go. If it starts shipping packages to Canada, it was meant to be." I'm pretty sure that's how the saying goes.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:41 PM   #4
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Lol

---------- Post added at 08:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:41 PM ----------

This is great!
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:46 PM   #5
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Haha I love it!
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:53 PM   #6
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Since its free shipping, find someone on here that will be willing to use their place as a middle man for shipping lol. Free shipping to them, then you pay for shipping to your place.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:56 PM   #7
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Lmao.. I agree +10000
Am on the same boat. But depending where in Canada you are. There are places that will receive your shipments for a smaller charge then shipping costs on the other side and you can pick them up!!
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:01 PM   #8
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...or move to the good old USofA.
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:11 PM   #9
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...or move to the good old USofA.
+10000000
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:24 PM   #10
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...or move to the good old USofA.
+10000000000000 " Mercia
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:25 AM   #11
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Mkolabin

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Old 02-08-2013, 08:07 AM   #12
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+10000000000000 " Mercia
Lol negative been there done that...
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:33 AM   #13
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Dearest "Canadian Who Can't Win Raffles, Sweepstakes, or even a free Calendar",

I get a little bit emotional when I think about the great times we had. Let me start out by saying "it's not you... it's me!"

Our relationship really started to blossom when we negotiated the cheapest possible rates to ship ground to Canada and even started collecting duties in advance, so you didn't get hit with any fees on delivery. We were just trying to protect you!

Seriously, though... we're working with our lawyers in order to be able to include our friends in the Great White North included in all sweepstakes, moving forward. There are some Canadian laws that we have to follow (see details of those laws), but we're getting it done for you guys!

As for Calendars and Catalogs, that has to do with the place we use to distribute those. Luckily, my team always has enough on hand that we can hook up a fellow forum member, even if it means smuggling it through the border for you!

All you have to do is (starting Monday) PM AMShaneLesky or AMDanBailer and give them your full name, email address, phone number, ship-to address and year/make/model and they'll send both a calendar/catalog your way!

Anyway, I hope we can make it through this rough spot in our relationship! We wish there were cheaper and faster methods of getting you what you need! However, we'll always fight for you guys!

Yours Truly,

AM
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:08 PM   #14
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Lmao I love it!
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:57 PM   #15
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Same here, i cant even get a free calendar. is been a while since i bought something from americanmuscle. Thats prob. The reason they dont like me
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:59 PM   #16
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This is great!! I love Chris' response.
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Old 02-08-2013, 01:21 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by AMChrisRose View Post
Dearest "Canadian Who Can't Win Raffles, Sweepstakes, or even a free Calendar",

I get a little bit emotional when I think about the great times we had. Let me start out by saying "it's not you... it's me!"

Our relationship really started to blossom when we negotiated the cheapest possible rates to ship ground to Canada and even started collecting duties in advance, so you didn't get hit with any fees on delivery. We were just trying to protect you!

Seriously, though... we're working with our lawyers in order to be able to include our friends in the Great White North included in all sweepstakes, moving forward. There are some Canadian laws that we have to follow (see details of those laws), but we're getting it done for you guys!

As for Calendars and Catalogs, that has to do with the place we use to distribute those. Luckily, my team always has enough on hand that we can hook up a fellow forum member, even if it means smuggling it through the border for you!

All you have to do is (starting Monday) PM AMShaneLesky or AMDanBailer and give them your full name, email address, phone number, ship-to address and year/make/model and they'll send both a calendar/catalog your way!

Anyway, I hope we can make it through this rough spot in our relationship! We wish there were cheaper and faster methods of getting you what you need! However, we'll always fight for you guys!

Yours Truly,

AM
+10000000
Thank you thank you thank you
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:37 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by AMChrisRose View Post
Dearest "Canadian Who Can't Win Raffles, Sweepstakes, or even a free Calendar",

I get a little bit emotional when I think about the great times we had. Let me start out by saying "it's not you... it's me!"

Our relationship really started to blossom when we negotiated the cheapest possible rates to ship ground to Canada and even started collecting duties in advance, so you didn't get hit with any fees on delivery. We were just trying to protect you!

Seriously, though... we're working with our lawyers in order to be able to include our friends in the Great White North included in all sweepstakes, moving forward. There are some Canadian laws that we have to follow (see details of those laws), but we're getting it done for you guys!

As for Calendars and Catalogs, that has to do with the place we use to distribute those. Luckily, my team always has enough on hand that we can hook up a fellow forum member, even if it means smuggling it through the border for you!

All you have to do is (starting Monday) PM AMShaneLesky or AMDanBailer and give them your full name, email address, phone number, ship-to address and year/make/model and they'll send both a calendar/catalog your way!

Anyway, I hope we can make it through this rough spot in our relationship! We wish there were cheaper and faster methods of getting you what you need! However, we'll always fight for you guys!

Yours Truly,

AM
Dear John,

I want you back. Can you ever forgive me? I just love you so much, it blinds me sometimes. I know you're trying. I know you're trying hard. It's just that sometimes I love you so much I can't see the forest for the trees.

I acted out of hurt, out of my broken heart. But I realize now that maybe, just maybe, you didn't break my heart - I did. In my unrealistic expectations, expectations which I placed upon you, I became unrealtisic. I expected too much, and it's not that you weren't giving me your all it's just that, somehow, I expected more.

I am a passionate person and our love ignites the flames of that passion. But they burn so bright that all I can see is the glowing, loving light that is you. Such brightness, you consume me.

I love you, American Muscle.

Can you ever take me back?

Signed,
Remorseful from our Breakup.
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Old 02-08-2013, 06:38 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mkolabin View Post

Dear John,

I want you back. Can you ever forgive me? I just love you so much, it blinds me sometimes. I know you're trying. I know you're trying hard. It's just that sometimes I love you so much I can't see the forest for the trees.

I acted out of hurt, out of my broken heart. But I realize now that maybe, just maybe, you didn't break my heart - I did. In my unrealistic expectations, expectations which I placed upon you, I became unrealtisic. I expected too much, and it's not that you weren't giving me your all it's just that, somehow, I expected more.

I am a passionate person and our love ignites the flames of that passion. But they burn so bright that all I can see is the glowing, loving light that is you. Such brightness, you consume me.

I love you, American Muscle.

Can you ever take me back?

Signed,
Remorseful from our Breakup.
This is too funny! Are you going to update your Facebook profiles now? Cause we all know its not true love unless its broadcasted all over Facebook!
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Old 02-08-2013, 06:49 PM   #20
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The fuk did I just read?
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Old 02-08-2013, 07:54 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Mkolabin View Post

Dear John,

I want you back. Can you ever forgive me? I just love you so much, it blinds me sometimes. I know you're trying. I know you're trying hard. It's just that sometimes I love you so much I can't see the forest for the trees.

I acted out of hurt, out of my broken heart. But I realize now that maybe, just maybe, you didn't break my heart - I did. In my unrealistic expectations, expectations which I placed upon you, I became unrealtisic. I expected too much, and it's not that you weren't giving me your all it's just that, somehow, I expected more.

I am a passionate person and our love ignites the flames of that passion. But they burn so bright that all I can see is the glowing, loving light that is you. Such brightness, you consume me.

I love you, American Muscle.

Can you ever take me back?

Signed,
Remorseful from our Breakup.
This is ridiculously funny :p
I'm checking the AM page for relationship status update :p
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:32 PM   #22
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If that ain't damn true love, then nobody has got true love.

I'm a better person and friend to my loved ones for have soaking that all in.
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Old 02-09-2013, 06:43 PM   #23
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And now I hear Whitney Houston singing. "And iiiii will always love you!!!!!!" I.cant.take.this.
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Old 02-09-2013, 09:26 PM   #24
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Im about to be emotional if I missed a free calendar from AM .....
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Old 02-10-2013, 01:15 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMChrisRose View Post
Dearest "Canadian Who Can't Win Raffles, Sweepstakes, or even a free Calendar",

I get a little bit emotional when I think about the great times we had. Let me start out by saying "it's not you... it's me!"

Our relationship really started to blossom when we negotiated the cheapest possible rates to ship ground to Canada and even started collecting duties in advance, so you didn't get hit with any fees on delivery. We were just trying to protect you!

Seriously, though... we're working with our lawyers in order to be able to include our friends in the Great White North included in all sweepstakes, moving forward. There are some Canadian laws that we have to follow (see details of those laws), but we're getting it done for you guys!

As for Calendars and Catalogs, that has to do with the place we use to distribute those. Luckily, my team always has enough on hand that we can hook up a fellow forum member, even if it means smuggling it through the border for you!

All you have to do is (starting Monday) PM AMShaneLesky or AMDanBailer and give them your full name, email address, phone number, ship-to address and year/make/model and they'll send both a calendar/catalog your way!

Anyway, I hope we can make it through this rough spot in our relationship! We wish there were cheaper and faster methods of getting you what you need! However, we'll always fight for you guys!



Yours Truly

AM


^^ +100000000000 ^^






M
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Old 02-10-2013, 01:26 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Mkolabin View Post

Dear John,

I want you back. Can you ever forgive me? I just love you so much, it blinds me sometimes. I know you're trying. I know you're trying hard. It's just that sometimes I love you so much I can't see the forest for the trees.

I acted out of hurt, out of my broken heart. But I realize now that maybe, just maybe, you didn't break my heart - I did. In my unrealistic expectations, expectations which I placed upon you, I became unrealtisic. I expected too much, and it's not that you weren't giving me your all it's just that, somehow, I expected more.

I am a passionate person and our love ignites the flames of that passion. But they burn so bright that all I can see is the glowing, loving light that is you. Such brightness, you consume me.

I love you, American Muscle.

Can you ever take me back?

Signed,
Remorseful from our Breakup.
(Tear drop)

Such beautiful words. Lmao.
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Old 02-10-2013, 02:33 PM   #27
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(Tear drop)

Such beautiful words. Lmao.
Lmao!
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