We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had
promised to leave the country if George W.Bush were to be re-elected
With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to
keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, Ed Asner,
Janeane Garafalo, Whoppi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil
Donahue, Rob Reiner (apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand,
Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and NY
Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US
assets and report to Florida
for the sailing of the Funship Cruise,
"Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation
homes in Afghanistan.
You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor
through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your
Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more years.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise
director, Grey Davis as purser and Monica Lewinsky as the "Cigar and
Teresa Heinz-Kerry hopefully will be kept somewhere below decks, away
from the media.
Entertainment by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen. John Kerry will
be our Life Guard in consideration of his past experience in pulling
people out of the water. (Unless he decides at the last minute not to go)
He is advocating the ellimination of the game "shuffleboard" in favor of
his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops as
you will need them while playing.
Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender, Lifeguard Instructor, and! Director
of Emergency Procedures.
Rev. Al Sharpton will provide inspirational services, and Ex-Congressman
Gary Condit as intern coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes,
friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary
Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she
can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.