Join Date: May 2004
as the name states:
DR. PHIL WAS CONDUCTING A GROUP THERAPY SESSION WITH FOUR YOUNG MOTHERS AND THEIR SMALL CHILDREN.
"YOU ALL HAVE OBSESSIONS, " HE OBSERVED.TO THE FIRST MOTHER, HE SAID, "YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH EATING. YOU'VE EVEN NAMED YOUR DAUGHTER CANDY."
HE TURNED TO THE SECOND MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS WITH MONEY. AGAIN, IT MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, PENNY."
HE TURNS TO THE THIRD MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS ALCOHOL. THIS, TOO,
MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, BRANDY."
AT THIS POINT, THE FOURTH MOTHER GETS UP TAKES HER LITTLE BOY BY THE HAND AND WHISPERS, "COME ON DICK, WE'RE LEAVING."
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid, fat mom, who rides his *** constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build
yourself a family with those?
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give
them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas,
where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table.
Tell your mom she got the part.
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ***
kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
2002 Sonic Blue GT, 5 Speed
Mods: MGW Short Throw Shifter, Mach 1 Brakes
Hypercoated Saleens, Eibach Pro-Kit, Bilstein shocks/struts, Borla Exhaust, Steeda Wing, 03 Cobra hood, Cobra mirrors, 03 Cobra Front Bumper, smoked fogs/headlights, 03 Cobra side skirts, Grill Delete, Mach C-pillars