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Old 04-08-2005, 04:05 PM   #1
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Mental hospital answering machine

My Dad just emailed this to me...

ANSWERING MACHINE AT MENTAL HOSPITAL


"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline."

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you."

If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up


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Old 04-08-2005, 04:37 PM   #2
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Haha..pretty good man.s
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Old 04-08-2005, 04:55 PM   #3
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Just because you all dont know what it really sounds like
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Old 04-08-2005, 05:00 PM   #4
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It doesn't play the whole thing...
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Old 04-08-2005, 05:18 PM   #5
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That MP3 was posted on Ebaums (i think0 about a month ago... so it looks like someone added to the list of buttons to press.
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Old 04-08-2005, 05:26 PM   #6
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cool
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Old 04-08-2005, 05:52 PM   #7
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Old 04-08-2005, 07:23 PM   #8
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If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

hmmmm
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Old 04-08-2005, 07:26 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Brent
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

hmmmm
i was gonna post something like that.


btw your sig quote is gay.
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Old 04-08-2005, 11:40 PM   #10
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Quote:
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
this has been my voicemail for about a month now, but when my roommate called and heard the quoted part, he thought it said "If you are sexy, press 969696969696969."

So, that's what he did, lol.
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Old 04-08-2005, 11:44 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteStang99
this has been my voicemail for about a month now, but when my roommate called and heard the quoted part, he thought it said "If you are sexy, press 969696969696969."

So, that's what he did, lol.

oh man thats awesome hahahahahaha
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