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Old 06-06-2005, 07:13 PM   #1
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biggest parental lies

what are some of the biggest lies you were told as a kid, aside from santa and the easter bunny and the tooth fairy?
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:15 PM   #2
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god.
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:18 PM   #3
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i predict a flame war now
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:20 PM   #4
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Well its really not a lie as much as a miss-understanding. I was always told as a child that I was special.... I now understand what they ment (OWNT).
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:22 PM   #5
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I thought I was the savior because my dad always called me "Jesus Christ" whenever I screwed up
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:30 PM   #6
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Quote:
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I thought I was the savior because my dad always called me "Jesus Christ" whenever I screwed up
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:31 PM   #7
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I was a suprise.
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:47 PM   #8
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I was a suprise.
Or yes "I am you Father"
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:47 PM   #9
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That if you ate a watermelon seed a watermelon would grow in your stomach. For added effect, my mother would often point at a fat individual and say, "See? I bet they ate a watermelon seed when they were little and they got fat."
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:51 PM   #10
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How about when you really screw up and you are about to be spanked and he says

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:52 PM   #11
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"Son, work hard, study hard, do good. It never pays to be on welfare" Yeah RIGHT
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Old 06-06-2005, 07:55 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComputerGuy
How about when you really screw up and you are about to be spanked and he says

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"
my dad said that and I asked to trade positions then.


He wouldn't.
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Old 06-06-2005, 08:06 PM   #13
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"When I met your father it was a special night"
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Old 06-06-2005, 08:51 PM   #14
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Be a safe and cautious driver and you'll be ok. Yeh right
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Old 06-06-2005, 08:53 PM   #15
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It really pains me to have to whip you with my belt!!!!!
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Old 06-07-2005, 05:09 AM   #16
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at age 8, "you cant swim for no less than 45 minutes after eating, youll drown"

at age 10, "you cant swim for no less than 30 minutes after eating, youll drown"

age 15, "you cant swim for no less than", "nuh uh mom, i took health already"



when i was very young, my parents made up a person called mrs. fish face. they said she lived in the motorhome down the street. when kids are bad, they are taken there and beaten. so of course i never wanted that, but one time i mustve done something really ****ed up, cause she dragged me by my arm all the way down the street to the front door of that motorhome, knocked on the door. by this time i was screaming bloody murder, i got loose and ran like hell for home.

couple years ago i told my mom its her fault im traumatized and hate that side of the street.
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Old 06-07-2005, 08:31 AM   #17
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^BAhahhahahahahah nice, i know my parents did this stuff but i just cant remember them.
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Old 06-07-2005, 09:01 AM   #18
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"we love you"










, j/k they never said that to me
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Old 06-07-2005, 09:04 AM   #19
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Quote:
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"we love you"










, j/k they never said that to me
funny...they say it to me all the time...
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Old 06-07-2005, 09:05 AM   #20
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lol yea they still say that to me
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Old 06-07-2005, 09:16 AM   #21
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yeah, I was kidding about that part... my dad says it to me at least 100,000 times a day. And is always looking for a hug :pnoid: .
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Old 06-07-2005, 09:19 AM   #22
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Wait till you guys have kids and you will find yourself using these so called lies on your own kids.

And for the guys that thinks welfare pays, you failed math didn't you?

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Holy crap he's right.
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Old 06-07-2005, 09:25 AM   #23
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depends how many kids you have
sorry, I realize that that comment is probably not the most appropriate... also, being on welfare would suck.
secondly... I don't plan on having kids, my laptop fried my "boys"... just ask 04stang,



in a side note, I wanna be a psychiatrist, they're gonna be ****ed up enough just from that
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Old 06-07-2005, 11:15 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComputerGuy
How about when you really screw up and you are about to be spanked and he says

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"
i'll second that one.
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Old 06-07-2005, 12:10 PM   #25
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I suppose if you can enjoy living off the labor of others and living at a bare minimum of existence then a welfare life can work for you. However, making $20k a year on your own beats making $20k a year of the sweat of another's brow, in my book.

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Holy crap he's right.
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Old 06-07-2005, 12:17 PM   #26
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Problem is that I'm supporting them through my taxes. Hell, I pay 1200 a month in taxes
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Old 06-07-2005, 12:47 PM   #27
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1) Sitting too close to the screen will make you go blind.
2) When someone wants to fight you, you shoud run away, no matter what, and tell someone.
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Old 06-07-2005, 03:25 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ponycarman
I suppose if you can enjoy living off the labor of others and living at a bare minimum of existence then a welfare life can work for you. However, making $20k a year on your own beats making $20k a year of the sweat of another's brow, in my book.

Steve
i agree but try telling that to all the...well...i cant think of a good word so ill stop
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Old 06-09-2005, 10:59 PM   #29
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When I was young, I lived in Virginia. I moved to Pennsylvania when I was 6. One of my memories from VA was that whenever I was a bad kid, my dad would threaten to send me to boot camp. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight, I was 5 or 6.

Also, they used the watermelon thing on me before. But I never believed it because my Uncle was fat and I asked him on vacation if he ate a watermelon seed but he said, "No, just drank too many beers when I was younger." I was prob about 6 or 7.

And the biggest one. I found out my dad used to smoke :smoke: and sell it as well in High School. I asked him about it but he said he doesn't know what I'm talking about. So one day I come home from school on a half day(12 oclock) and as I'm going inside I look to my left and he's sitting in a chair on our pool deck, passed out, snoring, and still in his rober. And sitting next to him on the table is a bowl of green. I just laughed, he woke up, and I said "Yea, no idea what I'm talking about huh?" He said. "Hey I never sold it."

Good stuff
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