This is true. I hate banks and so do 96 yr old women - Mustang Evolution

Go Back   Mustang Evolution > Off Topic Forums > The Bar



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them here!
Old 08-27-2005, 10:24 AM   #1
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
Danger Dude's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Region: South Carolina
Posts: 5,187
Send a message via AIM to Danger Dude
This is true. I hate banks and so do 96 yr old women

Subject: Fw: Bank Letter from a Senior Citizen!




Bank Letter
>
>
> Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96 year old
> woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in
> the New York Times.
>
> Dear Sir:
>
> I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to
> pay my plumber last month.
>
> By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his
> presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to
> honor it.
>
> I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary,
an
> arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
>
> You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and
> also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience
> caused to your bank.
>
> My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused
me
> to rethink my errant financial ways.
>
> I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and
> letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,
> overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
>
> From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood
person.
> My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be
> automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally
and
> confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
>
> Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person
to
> open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status
> which I require your chosen employee to complete.
>
> I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about
> him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
>
> Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be
> countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her
> financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be
> accompanied by documented proof.
>
> In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she
> must quote in dealings with me.
>
> I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have
modeled
> it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account
> balance on your phone bank service.
>
> As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
>
> Let me level the playing field even further.
>
> When you call me, press buttons as follows:
>
> 1. To make an appointment to see me
> 2. To query a missing payment.
>
> 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
>
> 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
>
> 5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
>
> 6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
> 7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is
> required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the
> Authorized Contact.
>
> 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
>
> 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put
on
> hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this
> may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for
the
> duration of the call.
>
> Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
> establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
>
> May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
>
> Your Humble Client (Remember: This was written by a 96 year old woman)
>
> JUST GOTTA LOVE US SENIORS
__________________
Danger Dude is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 08-27-2005, 10:38 AM   #2
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
fast64's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Region: Georgia
Posts: 3,263
Send a message via AIM to fast64
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

hahahahahahahaha, are you the 96 yr old woman, corey?
__________________
-Jimmy I drive a station wagon.
GO BRAVES
fast64 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 10:48 AM   #3
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
Danger Dude's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Region: South Carolina
Posts: 5,187
Send a message via AIM to Danger Dude
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

Quote:
Originally Posted by fast64
hahahahahahahaha, are you the 96 yr old woman, corey?
No you goof ball it was a letter from a 98 year old women and I agree with her
__________________
Danger Dude is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 08-27-2005, 11:14 AM   #4
Road Trip!
 
Tbird232ci's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Region: Maryland
Posts: 1,170
Send a message via AIM to Tbird232ci
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Danger Dude
Age equals experience BY GOD!!!!!!
hmmm
Tbird232ci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 11:19 AM   #5
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
Danger Dude's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Region: South Carolina
Posts: 5,187
Send a message via AIM to Danger Dude
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tbird232ci
hmmm
What is that about???? What side of your brain is not working????
__________________
Danger Dude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 11:28 AM   #6
Road Trip!
 
Tbird232ci's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Region: Maryland
Posts: 1,170
Send a message via AIM to Tbird232ci
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Danger Dude
What is that about???? What side of your brain is not working????
Tbird232ci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 11:38 AM   #7
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
fast64's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Region: Georgia
Posts: 3,263
Send a message via AIM to fast64
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Danger Dude
No you goof ball it was a letter from a 98 year old women and I agree with her
i agree with her too....but within the post it says 96 and title says 98
__________________
-Jimmy I drive a station wagon.
GO BRAVES
fast64 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 11:44 AM   #8
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
Danger Dude's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Region: South Carolina
Posts: 5,187
Send a message via AIM to Danger Dude
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

Quote:
Originally Posted by fast64
i agree with her too....but within the post it says 96 and title says 98

Very good I did not catch that when I read that HAHAHAHHAHHA
__________________
Danger Dude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 12:16 PM   #9
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
KyleUSAF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Region: Georgia
Posts: 802
Send a message via AIM to KyleUSAF Send a message via MSN to KyleUSAF
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

haha, my grandmother doesn't know what a nanosecond is, that's for sure
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkshadow
I could say nothing for my complete awe. He then. confidantly, purchased the gallon.
KyleUSAF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 03:36 PM   #10
Moderator Emeritus
Legacy
Regular
 
SpectorV's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Region: Alabama
Posts: 26,049
Send a message via AIM to SpectorV
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

You shouldnt hate banks... you should learn their policy or swap to another bank. My bank is great... and you never have to talk to some stuipd automated system... ever... and you can get in touch with anyone from the owners to the tellers.

If you do not have enough money in your account when you write a check and you plan to chase it with a depsosit thats your own fault when you get a charge. The new check 21 will make checks clear electronically, alot of people are ill about this... well stop writing bad checks.
__________________
2003 Cobra Vert (Redfire) #3938 of 5082 @ 05/27/2003
472rwhp/493rwtq -Modification List - Dyno Sheet
2012 Mustang 3.7L M6 (Kona Blue)
2011 Ford Edge Sport (Red Metallic)
SpectorV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 06:01 PM   #11
Legacy Member
Legacy
 
lowflyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Region: Mississippi
Posts: 19,890
Send a message via AIM to lowflyn
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

That's pretty funny actually
__________________
"I'm not driving too fast...just flying too low"
Mine:
-03 SB Cobra vert- 2552 of 5082 Born 02/25/03
Our's:
90 7up vert - new project-07 DSG Focus -DD
335
lowflyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2005, 09:33 PM   #12
Road Trip!
 
Tbird232ci's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Region: Maryland
Posts: 1,170
Send a message via AIM to Tbird232ci
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

youre a bastard Corey










i did the the same stuff when i was a mod at another board too
Tbird232ci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2005, 02:03 AM   #13
Road Trip!
 
ComputerGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 104
Re: This is true. I hate banks and so do 98 yr old women

I agree with Cory, Change banks. We did. Use to be BofA patrons until I got tired of them deducting 33 per overdraft. My wife being a complete idiot, had over 7k (Yes 7 thousand) dollars of over drafts last year.

I basically didn't need to change banks, I should have changed wives!!

My wife is such a DOLT. I need to start a blog. It would be the most entertaining blog ever. I might just do that. Can anyone suggest a place to host my blog?
ComputerGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Lower Navigation
Go Back   Mustang Evolution > Off Topic Forums > The Bar

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
70% of Women Fake It Brent The Bar 93 07-18-2007 05:33 PM
I hate Jesse Jackson. I hate him. Hate him hate him hate him! Brent The Bar 16 05-14-2007 06:37 PM
Hottest Women EVER*WW* bluemustang The Bar 23 04-23-2007 12:54 PM
Women Are Impossible Ken The Bar 37 01-10-2007 02:26 AM
Uhh.. True or not true? Ibanezplayer272 Pre-2005 V6 Mustang 12 05-04-2006 05:00 PM

» Like Us On Facebook



09:57 AM


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0

MustangEvolution.com is in no way associated with or endorsed by Ford Motor Company.