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Old 05-14-2006, 10:48 AM   #1
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What is hell?

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state: that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1.If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"!!!
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Old 05-14-2006, 11:32 AM   #2
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Re: What is hell?

that was awesome hahaha
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Old 05-14-2006, 02:06 PM   #3
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Re: What is hell?

read it before.
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Old 05-14-2006, 02:11 PM   #4
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Re: What is hell?

seen that before too..

my favourite part though has to be the end when he 'proves his point'.

haha.
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Old 05-14-2006, 02:12 PM   #5
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Re: What is hell?

hahaha
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Old 05-14-2006, 02:29 PM   #6
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Re: What is hell?

Nice
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Old 05-14-2006, 02:52 PM   #7
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Re: What is hell?

awesome
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Old 05-14-2006, 03:26 PM   #8
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Re: What is hell?

what if physics dont matter in hell then all your basis for your thoughs are pretty much worthless.
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Old 05-14-2006, 03:59 PM   #9
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Re: What is hell?

true. if heaven and hell are outside time and space, then the rules of time and space would not apply, including physics
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Old 05-14-2006, 04:01 PM   #10
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Re: What is hell?

What if there is no hell or heaven and then this thread is worthless
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Old 05-14-2006, 04:08 PM   #11
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Re: What is hell?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent
What if there is no hell or heaven and then this thread is worthless
now that's a concept.
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Old 05-14-2006, 04:31 PM   #12
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Re: What is hell?

its like the chaos theory, which doesnt exist, its the explanation for things we simply can not understand as of yet, if ever.
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Old 05-14-2006, 08:41 PM   #13
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Re: What is hell?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent
What if there is no hell or heaven and then this thread is worthless
^then there is no meaning to life and you should just kill yourself

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Old 05-14-2006, 10:34 PM   #14
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Re: What is hell?

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^then there is no meaning to life and you should just kill yourself

and leave people that love you hurting? No thanks..... :thumbsdow
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Old 05-15-2006, 07:31 AM   #15
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Re: What is hell?

You tell'em Brent
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Old 05-15-2006, 08:38 AM   #16
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Re: What is hell?

The version I'd seen before had a different conclusion:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also has mass. At what rate are souls moving into hell, and at what rate are they leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, then it will not leave, therefore no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, we must examine the different religions which exist today. Some of these state that if you are not a member of the religion, then you will go to hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can assume that all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can thus expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now we must examine the rate of change of volume in hell. Boyle's law states that for the temperature and pressure in hell to remain constant, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume also must remain constant. There are thus two possible conditions:

(1)If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter, then the temperature and pressure will increase until all hell breaks loose.

(2)Conversely, if hell is expanding at a faster rate than the rate of increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

We can now solve the problem with the 1990 postulation of Theresa Le Clair, the girl who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have not yet been successful in having sexual relations with her, condition (2) above has not been met. Thus, condition (1) is true, and hell is exothermic.
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Old 05-15-2006, 10:08 AM   #17
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Re: What is hell?

But the fact of Hell being hot is a great misunderstanding. In the end, after the great Apocalypse, All who have lived will stand before God to be Judged. God will cast Hell and all of it's inhabitance it a pit of fire and brimstone to burn for eternity. So Lets get this right. I would have given the kid a D minus for not having his facts straight BY GOD
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Old 05-15-2006, 10:23 AM   #18
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Re: What is hell?

wasnt some of the translastions messed up
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Old 05-15-2006, 11:14 AM   #19
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Re: What is hell?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent
and leave people that love you hurting? No thanks..... :thumbsdow
that would qualify as a reason to live, which is the meaning of life, which implies the existance of god
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Old 05-15-2006, 11:17 AM   #20
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Re: What is hell?

Hell was my 2nd wife !!
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Old 05-15-2006, 11:38 AM   #21
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Re: What is hell?

I 'd... it's a funny joke, stop getting so technical
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Old 05-15-2006, 11:48 AM   #22
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Re: What is hell?

Quote:
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I 'd... it's a funny joke, stop getting so technical
Technical is as technical does.
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Old 05-15-2006, 08:33 PM   #23
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Re: What is hell?

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But the fact of Hell being hot is a great misunderstanding. In the end, after the great Apocalypse, All who have lived will stand before God to be Judged. God will cast Hell and all of it's inhabitance it a pit of fire and brimstone to burn for eternity. So Lets get this right. I would have given the kid a D minus for not having his facts straight BY GOD
Your are correct BY GOD!



IMO, hell is, right now, a holding place, it's not too pleasant I'm sure but it does exist. Only after the Great White Throne Judgement will it become the place of eternal fire and brimstone "where the worm dieth not" and "neither is the fire quenched".
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