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Old 11-09-2006, 09:34 PM   #106
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Re: woot for road trips

Suddenly the color of the sky became a sort of fluorescent orange. Of course, everyone knew what this meant.

However, they were also afraid to talk about it, for obvious reasons.
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:49 PM   #107
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Re: woot for road trips

Oh comeon are you serious?? JUST LET IT DIE!!!!
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:55 PM   #108
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Re: woot for road trips

And from nowhere, the evil lesbian cowboy appeared once again, Ms. O'Donnell in tow. Or is it toe? Actually, historians cannot be sure. It is believed that in those days, the saying actually went "in catharsis". No one really understands the connection though, so the true sayinig remains a mystery.

The Blue chunked a banana split at them though, and they were not too happy about that. So they left... vanilla ice scream splattered about their heaving breastices.
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Old 11-10-2006, 08:28 AM   #109
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Re: woot for road trips

As they packed up their items to continue on the long road towards Melbodorne Robitussin they discovered that someone had stolen their visa check card. It didnt really matter as electronic debit machines didnt exist so basically it was just a peice of plastic (well plastic didnt exist nore did magnetic strips so it was actually a red painted semi flat rock with a black bar on the side of it and the words VISA on it)

About midnight as they were walking an old wise tree came to life and spoke in riddles. "Three will and only then can the will be three" he also said, "Caution be to those that fly with green eyes" and finally he mumbled a very puzzling riddle that made the hairs on everyone stand right up (minus the blues eye brows which statistically were not hairs as they didnt exist)

"The mores will be the downfall, the wizards sleeves will hang low and the fish will rejoice. Remember to taunt is to admit. The wicked west will bring great trashyness. Dont put your weight on it."

This basically went right over everyones head accept the blue, it hit him right where his eyebrows would have been, this made him very sad. So sad he cryed a little inside and it came out of his mouth/anus. The Black pointed this out to humiliate him further. The Orange and The Green dared one another to taste it, and they did.

They pushed forth and ten days had passed, they were nearly starving having only prarrie rats to eat and very strewn about vegataion such as melbatose and gigawacks which sucked at growing thus they are extinct. The oranged attempted to peal a melbatose but realized that the peal was the food and the inside was not, he found this out to late. The others decided to try gigawacks which reminded them of giving a rim job to an elephant.

The group had lost nearly 487 pounds and only had enough water for three more days, only one more day if they didnt drink any water for the other two. They finally noticed a plume of smoke nearby and they followed it to a small cabin in the middle of a flat sandy clay filled mud ridden bog. They knocked on the door and a very odd troll hermit type man came to the door with a shot gun and shot Gusto and The Blue with bird shot. This was a greeting from a troll so they laughed and bleed a little.

The troll, named Crusty Beaverson Malogrady Sanchez, told them how to take a short cut to avoid wagon traffic as they entered Melbodorne Robitussin and they were glad. The troll gave them some food he had prepared and by prepared I mean that he had let the meat he has cut from an indiginous animal rot and fester to perfection.

They took the shortcut and after all the long trip they were so close to their final destination. They were shocked at the site as they set eyes on the lights of the city and the cat beater beating cats on the wall just outside of the city.
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Old 12-13-2006, 02:44 PM   #110
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Re: woot for road trips

Just then The Green took off running, the others yelled "Wait, dont go in yet" but he didnt pay them any attention. The Green quickly found out this was a bad idea as they had yet to lower the draw bridge and he fell into the moat that surrounded the city walls. The moat was mainly raw sewage and other very nasty things - he contracted at least 47 diseases and the gout. The group strolled into the city and began to ask around for answers to one of the many puzzles they had.

The Blue went into a local bar "The Wizards Room" and began to listen to a very quite conversation that was going on in the fartherest corner. The Blue can hear very well since he has no eye brows to get in the way of the sound waves. The very quite party was made up of a troll, two wombats, a regular human, and a pet rock. They mumbled, "I hear evil is headed this way and will be here by dark. We are surly all doomed. We should hide and wait until everyone is dead and take all of their riches!"

The Blue then lost his concentration due to a gypsy. Just outside the rest of the group wandered around gathering supplies and "coping feels." The Red said, "I am going to go look for puzzle answers by yander wall." The group knew he was really going to play the slots so they blew it off.

The Black conjured a potion with barly and rye and summoned a cloud djinn to scour the city in search of answers. Finally, Gusto and The Green put on the shroud of shadows to sneak around the commerce center.

Not long later they all gathered to share what they had learned. The Blue told of the story he heard in the bar. The Black found out that his cloud djinn ran away with a cow after he recieved a certified letter that read, "Dear Mr Black. I have finally found true love. I know you can not accept or begin to understand this but the cow really understands me inside. I like utters. P.S. There is evil in the palace." The Black was nearly heartbroken. The Red came back with the gout and a pinata that he won while play hoop the goldfish.

Gusto and The Green found out many by sneaking around the town. They overheard the gaurds of the palace while at lunch talking about evil that had just came to the palace. They also managed to hear about all the traps that the palace had to keep out intruders.

They decided to sneak into the palace at the far end of the city and try to determine if evil truly was comming or perhaps even closer than that. They all snuck to the back edge of town and used a magic potion to pass through the outermost palace wall. The potion called for urine of a goat, three eyes of a nuet, and many other more gross things. They ingested the secret serum and automagically morphed through the wall right into the palace.

They had to wait until they didnt pass through anything else before they could proceed so they played a nasty game of Jinga. It usually takes an hour for the potion to wear off so they got into it pretty heavy. The Black automagically passed through the Gusto and made him feel violated.

Finally the potion wore off and they had to manuver around the many obstacles to get to the bottom of this situation.
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Old 12-13-2006, 05:01 PM   #111
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Re: woot for road trips

hu?
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Old 12-13-2006, 05:46 PM   #112
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Re: woot for road trips

The interior of the palace was very labyrinthian and, therefore, very difficult to circumnavigate, much less circumsize. The Blue took offense to this of course, because he has/had/has had no eyebrows. The guards guarding (because that's usually what guards do) the outermost area of the palace were all too busy calling Jamaican telephone psychics (and jerking each other's hand engraved salami necklaces) to notice the group's entry.

This changed pretty quick though, because Gusto (in all his wisdom and ****) slipped on a right parenthesis (apparently they were quite abundant in the palace). This set the guards awhirl. They began twirling and spinning and changing direction and motivating the A Team.

The A Team was their vicious pack of pachyderms used to guard the castle. Once they were motivated, it was pretty much game on. The pachyderms rushed the group with the fury of five angry pachyderms.

However, the Group showed no fear (other than Gusto of course, that dude was freaked out). They stood their ground as the A Team approached. The guards looked on and giggled quite a bit. When the A Team reached the group's location, they trampled them all. Every single one of them. Flat as pancakes.

Or so they thought.

You see, the group wasn't really the group at all. No, they were rather intricately painted cardboard cutouts of the group, hence their flatness after being trampled. While the group told everyone they were playing Jenga, they were really carefully handcrafting these cutouts as a ruse. Of course, the Gusto cutout really wasn't a cutout. It was indeed Gusto, who was now pretty much dead. No one even took time to notice that The Blue Cutout had eyebrows.

But the sacrifice served its purpose. During the debacle, the real group snuck in through the starboard side of the ship or palace and into the inner courtyard.

It was there that they constructed a hot dog stand and made a pretty good profit off of relish sales to the local courtyardians.
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Old 12-13-2006, 09:08 PM   #113
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Re: woot for road trips

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Old 01-10-2007, 11:34 AM   #114
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Re: woot for road trips

As dark approached for the second time that night they began to play that theme music from the A-Team as they constructed their plan to bombard the inner sanctuary where the Royals lived. They took two mules, a wagon, some guy named Earl, three stripper poles, one swiss army knife, 18 rolls of duct tape, 5 cardboard boxes, some steel and brawn, flame retardant quilts, donkey **** catching bags, apples, pypirus, and tar. They equpied the side of the wagon with two fire breathing trolls. They also added two Digaridoos too scare people with along with a large crossbow on the roof of the wagon. They then added many a wood to fortify the wagon. The donkeys were covered in flame retardant quilts and encased in iron bars to protect them as they raided inward. They used the apples to make the donkeys move of course. The Blue said, "This is the best idea we have had in quite some times, there will be much chicanary!" Quickly following The Red stated, "Yes but we must be leary for the forces of evil are strong and unforgiving." The group that he was being a tad to dramatic so they ignored him.

Finally they all, but Gusto who was dead, climbed into the wagon and proceeded to muster an eyebrow screeching (why the blue was driving from a top the wagon) 4 miles per hour, Gusto was still dead. At this time The Green seriously started to rethink this whole idea,"I am really starting to rething this dumbass idea." as they began their rompt to break into a foot deep door made of steel and brawn. They slamed into the door with glorious might, one donkey was killed on impact. Chavez still troted onward with unwavering heroic might, which might have been due to he was blind.

Unbeknowings to the group The Red had placed a weakness spell on the door so it caved like a crack head eating crack out of a peice of human feces on the subway as it was comming out of his rectum. Picture if you will the doors in slow motion caving inward with the gaurds on the other side being failed about and the evil dragon head they put over the donkeys cage snarling inward with a puff of fire. The gaurds must have been extremly shocked.

They entered the inner fortification and killed many a Polo player whom were practicing nearby. The Trolls caught fire to all of the tapastrys on the wall and beat down the gate gaurds rather ferouciously. The Blue was projected off of the wagon for what appeared to be 100 feet, to bad a wall was only 50feet away from the wagon. He slamed into the wall so hard that we cant put it in words so we wont, if it would have been Gusto he would still have been dead.

The wagon door flung open taking down a nearby swordsman gaurd and his pet wolf. The Green stood tall (he was 7ft 8in tall) and swung his mace before the gaurds could react. Then the rest tumbled out the back hatch and used super soakers filled with extremly strong acid to eat their way through the many a gaurd.

They finally made their way to the royals. The Red flung open the door and protested that they spill the beans. Machintosh, the royal, squeeled like a pig and told them of the evil plot that was being put forth. Of how the dragon riders were going to encompass the tropical island ring of Gargalthan after they had lured the group in and kill them. The Green laughed cuz he didnt believe in islands, "Fairy tales I tell you, there is no such thing is an island!" The group laughed. The Red said, "Thats almost as funny as the puddle the royal has under his belly!" The group laughed some more.

They, however; couldnt laugh any more as this laughter they had already spent had given the royals enough time to wait for back up. Twenty seven armed gaurds had surrounded them. Cublican and Macintosh stood tall and wiped away their brown stuff and urine. They then summoned the other royal, Stigathorus, to come over. They laughed, not learning the lesson from the group laughing to much, and this allowed the entire group to escape into a tunnel they found in the corner of the room (The Blue felt a draft as he has no eyebrows) they were well on their way to freedom before the gaurds knew it.

The group felt let down as they didnt get much more information. Just then The Blue came forth and layed down a book, the group took this as an invitation to party. The Blue quickly corrected the nearly tragic situation. The Blue then said, "I grabbed this book, it has all sorts of information from the Evil Realmn and other such truths. It will serve us well in our adventure that lay ahead"

The group was happy and they trotted off into the sunset which finally came, they began to plan for the next days activities.
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Old 01-15-2007, 08:51 AM   #115
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Re: woot for road trips

The next day, there ended up being no activities. Well, no activities worthy of calling "activities". Sure, they ate, pissed a little, did the normal amount of masturbation (73). But other than that, not much was accomplished.

This was due in part to the wave of winter weather that had struck the lands like something that strikes other things. The Black began to get the sense that something was afoul. This was probably due to the foul stench he smelled in the air. This was probably due to the large number of fowl who were flying above the group, excrementing about.

Eventually of course, one of the falling masses of bird feces happend to land right on The Blue's head. It struck him right where his eyebrows would have been, had he had any.

It would turn out that this little chance of fate would forever change a lot of important stuff. The Blue was outraged. He began yelling and screaming and crying and dying inside just a little bit. He flailed about wildly for several minutes, only to slip on the ice and crack his tibula in two and one third places. He got to his feet slowly after the fall and began to speak...

"I can no longer do this! This is ridiculous! We are getting nowhere! Even though I'm yelling, it still isn't coming out in all caps! Why is this?", he shouted LOUDLY.

The Black tried to calm him down with a little massage oils and a tub of hot water for his feet. The Blue, however, would have none of it.

"The strange plum-caped man has The Wet Stick, yet we do nothing? We wander about aimlessly, playing flutes and making friends with the creatures of the woodlands... but why?"

"Because we are great adventurers," said The Red. "Great adventurers made of steel and brawn who have lots of furry friends and really cool panaches. That's what we do."

"Well it's not enough!" SCREAMED The Blue. "I am tired of the tomfoolery! The Wet Stick is gone! Cundus is dead again! I don't even know what happened to Gusto!"

"Actually, Gusto is dead," said The Red.

"And I'm right here," said Cundus.

"Ahh, you are, aren't you?" mused The Blue (He was quite good at musing).

"Yup," replied Cundus.

"Regardless... 'Tis my eyebrows who have the power to harness the power of the powerful Wet Stick. 'Tis I who must carry this burden. 'Tis I who shall retrieve it!!!" The Blue bellowed in his best impression of a heroic bear.

"No you fool! You will never be able to retrieve it alone!" decreed The Black. After collecting everyone's signatures on the decree, the conversation continued.

"I must do this. 'Tis my destiny," said The Blue solemnly. The Green was tired of hearing him say " 'Tis ", so he declared the word obsolete. The ground smiled heartily a little as a result.

Still, The Blue continued to speak. "I must go alone from here. What the rest of you do is your decision. I must continue after the plum-caped fellow to retrieve the Wet Stick of Wet Stickiness. It is my destiny."

The Black had a frown on his brow, which was ironic considering what he was about to say. "Just remember, without your eyebrows in place, you are at great risk. There is great evil about, and you will be easily recognized and very vulnerable. Here, take this."

The Black handed The Blue what appeared to be the tattered remains of a McDonald's Happy Meal box.

"Inside this Box are some old, moldy french fries. I found them in a dumpster outside the last town. They will surely help you in your journey," explained The Black.

"Thank you The Black. I must now be on my way. But I must ask, where shall you all go?"

The Red pondered while The Green did a handstand. He then spake. "We shall go to revive our fallen comrade(s). There is a cave to the north. There are tales that a great force resides deep within that can bring back that which has been taken. Even if we can't revive him/her/it/them, maybe we can at least retrieve our Digaridoos."

"I see," said The Blue. "Well my friends, I wish you luck. Except you The Green, you sick bastard. I hope you rot in hell."

"Agreed," said everyone but The Green who was still working on his handstands and paying absolutely no attention.

The group shared tearful hugs and three-legged spider ale before eventually going their separate ways.

However.... The Blue did not make it far off into the distance before The Black suddenly stopped. He told the group to huddle up. It took a while, because Cundus had lost his helmet.

The Black began to belt out his orders... "Cundus. You must follow him. He cannot make it alone. You have the best tracking skills of the group due to your week stint in the girl scouts. Do not let him know you are following him. He gets very emotional. Meanwhile, we will head north to the cave to resurrect Gusto. I have a feeling we will need him. Whatever you do, do NOT let The Blue attempt to defeat the plum-caped fellow. I sense he is very powerful, and may even have genital herpes."

"Understood," said Cundus. "When shall we meet again?"

"Look to the east when you hear the parakeet," replied The Black. "We will be somewhere."

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

So with that, Cundus took off following the tracks left by The Blue.
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Old 01-16-2007, 07:56 PM   #116
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Re: woot for road trips

Cundus did some sort of manuver and roled slightly sidways in a northeastern direction right off of the cliff nearby and tumbled down many jagged rocks. The group knew he was quite smart.

"He has a plan, he is a master of tracking" said The Black

"Look at him laying so still and bleeding so much, what trickery" pointed The Green

The group parted from The Blue and went down the path toward the cave, the cave named Sorrows Furnace. The sky was dark with burning coal bellowing out of the cave. They were still a days walk away at best, they had to gather supplies since no one that had ever entered the cave had existed. This is partly due to its a one way cave.

The Blue wrote a letter before we traveled away from the group so they would know some of his inner most thoughts when they got back to their home town after this evil is stopped. He wrote "CONTAINS CASH PLEASE DON'T TAKE to ensure the twenty uranuses would be safe (a good bit of cash) and then dropped it off at the local jiffy lube (who in this day in age delivered mail since cars had not been invented yet for them to lube). Perhaps we will done day find out what the letter said. You can look up more on letters written by The Blue in "The Blue writes letters" volume 25

The Blue picked up his walking stick, Lucy, and adorned his saddles made of leprechaun vomit mixed with magic tea leaves.

"The day is dark, due to dragons. We must all suffer such times but as long as I have my trusty walking sick, some barely, beer, and the thoughts of my comrades I will last through this harsh time and once again bask in the glow of geese ravaging butter."

Just then a goblin bursted on tp he scene with much penetration and grabbed The Blues walking stick, he then of course burst into flames and exploded as goblins tend to do.

"Dammit" said The Blue.

The next day the group now separated from The Blue by nearly two hundred miles (miles were shorter back then) they were at the of the mountain that harvested the evil cave they had to enter. They felt an awing effect and water was of course running out of the cave making it all wet and stinky. The cave was also very dark, which they tend to be but The Green would have none of it and refused to call it nothing more than simply light challenged.

"We finally made it, I will cast a spell to keep us safe as we climb to the cave's entrance" said The Red who just after cast a spell and the group turned invisible. The entire group slowly turned into sweet invisibilityness, all but The Green who started to sweat and lose bowl control.

"For the love of Zeus's Sequins don't do that **** I'm allergic to invisibility WTF!" said The Green as he developed hemeroids the size of golf balls. The Red knew this and just wanted to piss The Green off, and he did.

The Red took this as an advantage to pull The Blacks pants down to his ankles, the group all shared a laugh at The Blacks small regions. They had rested fully so they began walking up the mountain, which was actually slightly downhill. They reached the entrance and felt an ignoramus feeling and heard a loud bellowing, the ground began to shake.

The Red just then shouted, "Holy **** brace yourself, I didn't want to tell you guys but the cave is protected by mermaids and small little warriors that stand two inches high known as the Watusi"

The group braced........








The Blue had a feeling someone was following him but he couldn't get a clear reading on his magic seeing globe due to local radio station interference. He also tried using his magic question 8 ball but it did no good either.

"Try again my wet ape ***!" said The Blue. He would have to keep one eye open always, but never two.

"At my pace I will be near my destination in only two weeks" why he said this out loud by himself we don't know, he tends to think he is much more important than he really is. He was only a few miles outside of an area known as Sandmill Forest where the trees are actually sand dunes and many a squirrel. There were large lizards here so he needed to concoct a potion to repel them, but it takes a long time to make so he needed to get started. He took out parchment and sketched an image of The Wet Stick for reasons unknown but perhaps something toward this reason is illuminated in the book "Ramming Wild Lions and acting Bearish" Chapter 2 "Winning the lottery" by Oglethorpe Perniciously.

"Where am I going to find Stagnantly Man nus scales, Root Beer, sandwiches, Monkey Tusks, and Rosamund's Root..." sighed The Blue as he trotted into the sunset. Somewhat behind him we see a shadowy figure, we do not know who it is but we hope for The Blue's sake its Cundus. Whom ever it was it has wings, so it probably wasn't Cundus, perhaps it was a lesser pony.






We return to the group as they repel an onslaught of really annoying small arrows and mermaid spit. The Green fashioned some rope and tied it off on some local native rocks. He then tossed the rocks down into the cave and handed them around.

"We must go into the cave now or we will surly die from the toothpicks!", said The Green.

They agreed and started their decent into a near crotch like dampness. "Into the devils throat we go!" Yelled the group all in unison which was kind of odd.







Just then The Blue got a strange feeling that his friends were in danger. He sad down and created a camp fire and performed a chant to aid in their journey to help guide them on their way, but what The Blue didn't know was that The Red had scrambled his magic spell and chant books pages so he really performed "Yoshi's Rubber band"

The Blue knew after he entered the forest he would be unable to aid his friends so with a deep breath and after putting out the fire he took his first step into the wandering shifting forest and like the wind blown grains of sand he vanished into it, perhaps never to return....

It is hard to traverse the forest, even for someone as strong as The Blue. To make matters even worse a small horde (contradictory I know but WTF I like the word horde) followed him into the shadows and flame (aka sand storm on the edge of the forest). Finally, a ghostly figure entered the forest in a mist of evil... or not evil... how else can you really describe a mist though?
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Old 01-16-2007, 09:55 PM   #117
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Re: woot for road trips

Back in the cave, things weren't going so well either. After escaping the little dudes and mermaids, things just seemed to get worse. The cave was a twisting labyrinth of dark, damp, darkeness and dampness. Kinda like something which I won't mention, but you could probably Google it (or "Infoseek it" as it was called in those days).

The group travelled through the caves for hours and hours. Until eventually, hours and hours turned into days and days. They lived off of stale bread and damp cave drippings. Nothing quite hits the spot like a good stalactite dripping first thing in the morning, or so The Green tried to convince everyone. For this, he was slapped repeatedly with a fly swatter shaped like a hand (99 cents at Dollar General). It eventually became lodged in his gizzard, so everyone got a pretty good kick outta that.

The group was beginning to give up hope. The Black had begun to listen to Avenge Sevenfold and Bullet for My Valentine. As a result, he had turned into a ***** and began to wear only black, which was quite unusual compared to his usual colorful attire. 45 seconds later though, he discovered hip hop and was now a OG to the fifth degree fo' shizzle.

Finally, on the fourth day, a discovery was made.

"****ing ****!!!" exclaimed The Red.

He had tripped over something and lost his ability to have legs (as in they were basically amptutated). They were quickly sewn back together by The Green, but not before hepatitis could set in.

After cleaning up the mess, the group began to inspect the cause of injury. It was what appeared to be an old altar, perhaps to an ancient pagan god or Barbara Walters.

"I have an idea," said someone. Historians have argued over the true originator of this quote for at least five minutes through AIM. Whoever it was continued, "We should place the small particles remaining from Gusto's testes on the altar. And then say the ancient revival prayer..."

"What are 'testes'?" asked someone else. This is also a large source of controversy. It obviously couldn't have been The Black though because he was very wise and was a great student of male genitalia and terms to describe such things.

"BALLS. MAN BALLS," screamed a distant voice. The group jumped in amazement. Suddenly the left over bits of Gusto's testicles flew from The Black's pantaloon pocket and landed on the altar. The ground (above and below them) began to shake violently and they could swear they could hear Pat Benatar in the background...

Suddenly an apparition appeared, floating over the altar. He looked weary and dead because he was. Mostly just dead though. It did not take long for the group to realize whom the apparition used to be.

"GUSTO!" exclaimed The Green!!!
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Old 01-21-2007, 03:53 AM   #118
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Re: woot for road trips

**** a ****ing road trip. *****.
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Old 01-21-2007, 02:37 PM   #119
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Re: woot for road trips

"Yup. What's crackalackin'?" asked the Gusto-ish spectre.

"Uh... we came here to resurrect you. Why are you talking ghettoish?" asked The Red.

"You know it's hard out here for a pimp. When he tryin to get this money for the rent." replied Gusto.

"Huh?" said pretty much everyone (except The Black because he understood all too well the plight of the pimp).

Gusto twitched for a second (as if he were a balloon in flight) and then began to speaketh. "Never mind that. You guys must follow me. There is only one way out of this cave. We must first cross the 'Great Lake of Marshalade' and then descend down the 'Stairs of Used-To-Be Esacalators'. It will not be easy, but at least I'm already dead."

"So how can we bring you back?" asked a mysterious frog who had begun to tag along a couple pages back but was forgotten about until this point.

"Do not worry about that right now. First we must get out of here. It won't be long before the train comes in... And that's when 'they' will be here."

With that said he made a face that was an apparent attempt at trying to look scary. Unfortunately for Gusto, he was a ****ing idiot and it ended up looking more like a dead Keebler elf. Everyone laughed until their pineal glands hurt.

After that, the group began its descent through the cave. They crossed the Marshalade Lake (with no small help from the local coast guard) and even descended the 'Stairs of Whatever I Said Earlier' without much problem. Suddenly, the walls of the cave began to smell of maple syrup. The walls became closer and closer together until it was a very tight fit to get through. Then suddenly, the maple syrup smell made total sense.

They had arrived to a great cavern. There were huge trees growing out of the ground. Some looked to be hundreds of years old. Before them lay a path which wound down through the great underground forest.

"How do the trees grow without light?" asked Smacky (the frog, obviously).

Gusto laughed. He then replied... "These trees we be smokin' ain't got no seeds. But they still da stickiest of da icky and da greenest of da green." He twitched some more again (as if he were a fly on a piece of toast with PB&J).

Everyone didn't know what to make of it, so they just continued along the path. The Black began to become very uneasy. He began to sense a great evil in the cavern. He wanted to say something... but he had a feeling that they were being watched.

Eventually, they reached what looked like a frickin' train depot. It was too.

"Why the hell is there a train depot here? What the **** is going on?" Smacky the Frog demanded.

Gusto simply said, "Werd." When he did a bright light began to shine from down the tracks, through the cover of the massive trees. 'Twas a train... headed their way.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:58 PM   #120
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Miles away The Blue struggled for survival on the side of a huge glacier. Every step was one of peral and perhaps death. As the snow fell hard, as hard as rain maybe even, Cundus watched from a safe distance trailing The Blue much like a wild carabeau or beaver. The Blue noticed a shift in the space/time continum and felt as if some sort of "Train" was headed for his comrades, and evil train. And also that The Green really did steal his psonic care tooth brush.

"That Green wack bastard has gone to far!" said The Blue. He chanted a spell in hopes to keep his friends safe from the evil forces he felt was closing in on them. He also cast a spell on The Green so he would have gay feelings and wouldn't know why.

The Blue had been climbing for a frost bitten mind numbing three days without stopping (accept for tea time because lets face it... that IS SO THE BLUE). Finally, on the close of the third day The Blue felt a warm wasp of air befall him as he pull himself atop the glacier. The glacier was amazing, there was a forest atop it and the sky was gray and cloudy as if a raging thunder storm was blowing over. Cundus disguised as a hippopotamus's bowl movement slowly creped toward The Blues camp fire that night. The Blue was so out of it from the exhaustion that he didnt not even know Cundus was there, and gave him a free colonic. Cundus and The Blue also played Scrable, Jinga, Put it in your butt, Toss Rocks, Eat nasty crap, The Bleeding Game, and of course connect four.

Unbeknowengst to Cundus, or The Blue, a shadowy figure flew overhead (in the middle of their Jinga tournament) and disappeared to the north into some sinister looking trees. Cundus looked up hearing some crackling and quickly noticed the trees did indeed have eyes. He crawled up into a small ball (inside of his hippo **** costume) and cryed himself to sleep.

The next morning The Blue awoke shocked and somewhat horrified (proud) of what he thought was a massive **** he took during the night. It was still warm enough to scramble two eggs on. They made good omelets, even better with some vodka The Blue had kept stashed away.

The Blue cleaned up the camp fire and picked up his staff and wandered into the forest as close to north as he could figure (he followed the "N"). The forest encapsulated him ever more with every step until no sunlight could penetrate the tree tops much like a southeastern monkey who is trying to penetrate a coconut on Hole Smats day, the only day of the Ciceronian year callender that encompass both making jam and pissing off of crevasses. If you want to know more about Hole Smats day or Ciceronian hoop makers pick up a copy of "Hole Smats day festivities and Hoop Makers" by Matty Om ally Sangishipe.

The Blue became ever more aware of a force coming closer to him, perhaps so close to taste the seat off of his brow as it had no where to go but to pile up, and pile up until it would eventually explode from the friction that no eyebrows bestowed upon him. He tried to wipe it away vigerously but the only made it worse.

"Oh excuse me I didnt mean to actually taste the sweat" said the evil shadowy figure.

"Its quit alright, I am used to it after traveling with Log for as long as we did, he was quite fond of licking me in odd manorizms" said The Blue who quickly freaked out as this and beat the shadowy figure with his staff nearly as a subconscious level.

The shadowy figure quickly and sneakishly engulfed The Blue in an orb of near pure energy (some say even dark matter) and rainbow breezys (flying gay looking horses) if you want to know more about this please view "Dark Matter Magical Orbs and Cheese" by The Blue. Pay close attention to chapter four and seven - "Rowing the boat when you are floating in phantasmal rue" and "***** slapped by robots, but gotta keep it on the down low"

Cundus from a minimal, but not super maximal orbital, distance was outraged. He rushed toward this engulfing as it was happening. Just as he was in near reach of the whirling orb where his hand was mere inches away from its wonder it disappeared with a quippy smirk from the shadowy figure taking near half the glacier with it in a glorious might. Cundus then leaping through where the orb was began falling into the pocket of every rushing air that the orb left. The space smelled of nasty burnt/rotten chicken for some reason.

He quickly fashioned a rope out of steel and brawn and tossed it upward grabbing the leading edge of a rock just barely and he slammed into the side of the rock wall. Just then everything went fuzzy and perhaps even more psychedelic.

"Oh crap Im falling and its going to hurt" said Cundus. He slamed into the side of the cavern and in a near instant everything went blank.
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Old 01-24-2007, 02:13 PM   #121
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Re: woot for road trips

Are We There Yet?
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Old 01-24-2007, 02:32 PM   #122
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Re: woot for road trips

What happened to the evil lesbian cowboy
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Old 01-24-2007, 02:38 PM   #123
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Re: woot for road trips

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herbstang View Post
What happened to the evil lesbian cowboy
She got a gig as a porn star.
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Old 01-25-2007, 08:18 AM   #124
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Re: woot for road trips

The Blue began to awake, but perhaps still between a dream and reality.

George Zimmer (b. 21 November 1948) is the founder and CEO of the Men's Wearhouse, a men's clothing retailer that now has 600+ stores across the U.S. and Canada.

HI, BETWEEN BOUTS OF BAWDY BALL-BUSTING BUTT-BURGLING, I CAN OFTEN BE FOUND AT MY LOCAL LIBRARY PERUSING A BANK OF THESAURI TO ASSIST IN THE ALLITERATIVE ANNALS OF MY AWESOME ANAL ASSAULTS. HOWEVER, MY LATEST TRIP WAS NOT THE DRY ACADEMIC EXERCISE ONE MIGHT EXPECT. AS I SEARCHED THE SILENT STACKS, I SPIED A STUNNINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS SIREN SITTING STUDIOUSLY AT THE REFERENCE DESK. ALL THOUGHT OF BORING, BANAL BOOK-BROWSING LEFT MY MIND AS OUR EYES MET AND THE BEAUTIFUL BOOKISH BABE'S BODACIOUS BOSOM BOBBED BOUNCILY WITH HER SUDDEN INDRAWN BREATH. MY TRUCULENT TROUSER TORPEDO TORE A TUMULTUOUS TRAIL OF TERROR TO HER TWITCHING, TITILATINGLY TENDER ****, UPENDING BOOKSHELVES AND SENDING HORRIFIED PATRONS FLEEING FOR THEIR LIVES. AS MY UNCTUOUS UNDULATING UNDERWEAR USURPER LURCHED LASCIVIOUSLY THROUGH HER LUSCIOUSLY LUSTY LIBRARIAN LABIA, LUBRICATING HER LOVEBOX WITH A FURIOUS FOAMING FLOOD OF FROTHY ****-FLUID AT THE CRITICAL CREST OF OUR CRIMINALLY COCKTASTIC COPULATORY CRESCENDO, HER CRIES OF UNIMAGINABLE PLEASURE WERE MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY LIBRARIAN'S "SHUSH." I GUARANTEE IT.
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Old 01-27-2007, 01:05 AM   #125
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As the train pulled up, The Black could sense a sense of sensefulness. He felt that someone had too much SPAM (aka, spiced ham, aka the greatest lunch meat ever conceived (especially when fried) end nestend parens) as well. The train slowly pulled to a stop at the platform they were standing on. The platform was made of ancient teak wood, and therefore, quite pleasant.

The whistle blew from the blackened train and everyone's heart skipped a couple of beats (they all had issues with their valves 'n ****). Finally, a door on one of the cars opened... revealing a most pleasant site.

The inside of the trained was filled with malt liquors, cheap "cigars" (Black And Milds) and subwoofers. Gusto motioned for the group to board, so board they did. As they boarded, the board boarded as well. Since everyone was now fully boarded, the train let out a great "Woot". Hence the name of this thread. Woot for road trips, 'cause BY GOD that's what the train did. Maybe it should have been woot for train trips though. Regardless, things were pretty cool in the train.

Still, the group could not help but sense that something cruel, mercy-less (or merciless) and evil was afoot. They found out later that morning while cooking scrambled eggs that their senses where not entirely useless.

For you see, Gusto had begun (along with the other "passengers" on the train) to sing a hymn. More like a poem or transcript of great deeds I guess you could say. It went something like this.

"You stupid ****s got on this train, now you gonna burn in flame.
'Cause ***** *** niggas I ain't ****in' around, you ****ed me over now you goin' down.
I ain't even playin' games, yo life ain't never gonna be the same
Another dolla' another day, mo' fake niggas gettin' paid
Gettin' laid, got 'dat **** made, layin' all up in da shade
But we ****in' ghosts, we already dead, so get on yo' knees and give me head
'Cause it ain't too long nigga, you'll be dead too. Shoulda realized what we gonna do to you
'Cause where you goin', ain't no way back. No mo' dollars and cadillacs.
No mo' *****es. No mo' weed. Just plenty of track and plenty of speed.
'Cause we ain't stoppin' 'til this deal is through, so guess what nigga? Yeah, **** you."

Suddenly the truth was very clear. This "Gusto" was not Gusto at all. No. It was the late Tupac Shakur. He had stolen Gusto's soul and used it to lure the group into a trap.

"That's right *****es. You on my train now. And this train ain't goin' no where but hell," said the evil Gusto-looking apparition. The Red had to compliment him on his style though, 'cause it was mad tight.

The Black, however, was extremely frustrated by this turn of events.

"Look," he said lookingly. "There's only one way to do this fairly. A game of Scrabble."

Tupac nodded solemnly. Even the dead could not resist a good game of scrabble for the souls of a group on a mission to save the world from the powers of a great and magical Wet Stick.

And so it began.
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Old 03-21-2007, 05:15 PM   #126
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Re: woot for road trips

"P - O - N - T - I - F - I - C - A - T - E"

Those multitude of letters rang out through out the train. They spilled into the night and over the cool ground. They rose up and down and through and around. Until eventually, every one living and dead on the Earth had heard it.

Pontificate.

A little known verb which now means "express ones judgements or opinions in a dogmatic way". Back in those days of oldE however, it meant something entirely different.

It meant The Red had won perhaps the greatest game of Scrabble played in the long-running history of Scrabble. The tension could be cut with a knife. Or maybe that was just the quite delicious smelling smoke from the Black and Milds. Regardless, Tupac was pissed.

He had never... NEVER been defeated at Scrabble.

Pontificate.

The words echoed through his head like something that echoes a lot, and very loudly at that. It was then, that he spoketh unto themeth:

"Damn."

With those words, the train came to a screeching halt. Suddenly, there was a flash of bliding light. The group all fell to their knees in awe of its glory, brightness and overall impressivity.
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Old 03-21-2007, 11:57 PM   #127
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Re: woot for road trips

OMG! I"m seriously hanging on EVERY word to this! HAHA you guys are crazy/sick/weirdos! But D**n if you don't have the best imaginations in the world! LOVEEEEE IT!

*scuttles off to keep reading!
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Old 03-21-2007, 11:58 PM   #128
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Re: woot for road trips

you wanna hear something crazy? This thread was started back when I went to pick up my GT... oh yeah, that was approaching a YEAR ago. Of course, no one cared, and thus, birthed this "thing"
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:17 AM   #129
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Re: woot for road trips

Cundus finally awoke after becomming unconcious from his rather bad fall. He seemed to not have any broken bones just gashes and other such issues you get from falling down mountians. He knew The Blue was out of his reach for now and that he was powerless to stop the motion set forth by the evil figure that had taken him.

Cundus wraped his wounds and decided he has best let the others know what was wrong and had hopes that The Red could help in figuring out what happened to The Blue. Cundus trotted off in a south / southwest angle to try and head off the group as they were circling around a very large canyon... or so the thought.

We now do some cool action sequence slide as we go under ground to find out what happened. The Blue was slowly regaining feeling in his left leg and became ever more aware of his situation. He looked around and he was incased in what seemed to be some sort of holding area. He slowly picked himself up and dusted himself off with his staff (it has a duster built in)

He pondered the situation, it is an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. Just then an evil laught rang out, it was female in sound. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. "What is the meaning of this popostiary!" shouted The Blue not fully knowing with that word ment, but he liked the hum of it.

She began to speak but The Blue had issues fully understanding her sentance structure and overal syntax formations. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. She soon realized that The Blue was no normal wizard for he spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

The Blue knew that she would feel intimidated (his reason why no females liked him) so he decided to play it safe. Sadly Dominos cant deliver to a place that you dont know where you are it. The Blue could not think clearly, he was still somewhat under the spell cast on him. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He knew he had the upper hand as she did not fully know of his power, for without eye brows its hard to read someone. She was scared of his freakish height. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree, which back then was very tall as the average height was nare of 4 feet.

The ghostly figure of evil finally came forth out of the shadows and then out from behind a Ben and Jerrys oversized novelty ice cream container that was near the corner of the room. If you want to read more about this look up "Anchient Novelty Ice Cream Containeres from the days of Yore" in your local library. She came to the edge of a small pool and placed a tiny boat onto the water and gave it a push. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

The Blue felt a trap comming on and slamed his staff into the ground and chanted. Just then hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. They made a diversion but... The Blue didnt know if it was enough of one to escape. He rounded the corner only to be let down by another wall. He used some magic contuition to try and see through it but it was protected by gypsy tears so he could not.

He turned around quickly to see the figure had caught up with him. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster. He tried to resist her charm but she grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.. She probed into his mind and he could not resist. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

He fell to his knees with pain, he knew of the spell in which she choose and he had a trick up his sleeve. He reached into the sleeve and pulled out a little tiny box. Just then shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. She was startled he quickly jumped up and grabed her an he finally realized who she was. For you see The Blue and Scolera had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. He read the name on her name tag for those that are wondering about it.

He then noticed how strong her spell over him really was, but just like The Blue, he had already began formulating a plan. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. He quickly twirled his staff and swung it across his frontal area. She leaped back out of instinct but... sadly she leaped right back into a very large deep hole and fell. She fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

She was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. The Blue then laughed and told her that she was messing with one of the Waznin, one of the four legendary wizards of the coast. If you want to read more about the Waznin we cant help you much. The Blue though that was that and began to travel out of this place.

He did not get to far for just then from above came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. The Blue had a memory in the back of his mind about this sound and it terrified him to his very core. He began to run to try and escape it.....


We go back to Cundus who is making rather good progress on his traveling back to meet up with the group. As the sunset the though he heard some sort of noise but he was not quite sure of its origion. He trotted off on into the darkness.
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Old 03-26-2007, 09:30 PM   #130
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Re: woot for road trips

Cundus had been walking for days. He had already missed the first two episodes of "The Riches" and was, understably (which was short for understandably back in those good ole (weird for old) days), pissed. He had begun to give up hope of finding The Blue and those magical eyebrows with the ability to harness the Wet Stick. Eventually, he could not take it any more... He stumbled and fell to his knees. Then a ****ing owl dropped a large stone on his head and knocked him unconscious. To read more about the strage "****ing stone dropping" owls of the Great Plains, please check out "Animals Wildin' Out: Beach Party" at your local children's book store.

That night, Cundus had one of the strangest dreams ever. The first thing he rembered from it (as told to his grandchildren three months later) is being thrown into a large, green pipe. As he begin to fall into the depths there was a strange noise that sounded like it was coming from a crappy 8-bit video game. The speed at which he flew through the pipe was amazing. It was like he was being transported to an entire other world at the speed of light. After twisting and weaving through what must have been miles and miles of pipes in only a few seconds... there was suddenly a bright light. And that's when he woke up.

He was awoken to the sound of a great deal of masterbation. When he wiped the dew from his eyes (He had been apparently lain out to sleep in a field. Those bastards), he was surrounded my small mushroomish creatures. And they were indeed masterbating. He could already feel some of the results dripping on his feet. Apparently they really liked feet.

He tried to jump to said feet, but quickly realized his hands and the previously recognized feet were bound.

"Haha, you fool. You're not going anywhere." said the shroom with the biggest dick.

"What are you doing to ME?" yelled Cundus in desparation (despite the fact that he was sporting major wood).

"We are cleansing you in the name of the Great Mario you insolent fool!" shouted an owl.

"WHOA WHOA WHOAAA!!! Hold it right there. I've had it. I've seen and been through some crazy **** on this journey... but that's where I draw the damn line. There is no such thing as a talking owl. You've gotta be kidding me." Cundus spurted out in a fit of disbelief.

"Screw you man! Who are you to question my existence!"

With that, the owl began pelting him with poppy seeds. It worked miraculously as Cundus quickly begin to realize that the owl did indeed exist and that he was quite a beautiful creature. He really wished his hands were free or at least one.

After the ceremony was over, the shroom people picked Cundus up and dragged him to a small village. The houses were all made of pipe and were quite impressive. They took him into the center of the town and tied him up to two sticks that were sticking out of the ground in a sort of lower-cased "x" shape.

Then, the mushroom guy from before (the one with the huge cack) walked forward and stood before Cundus. A lump appeared in Cundus' pantaloons, just to the left of the right pocket. You could hear the zipper scream.

"Stranger. You are here today to be brought into the fellowship of the Great Mario. You have been cleansed of all your stank and are now ready to receive him by smoking the great pipe. Now stranger, do you believe that the Great Mario, slayer of the evil Bowser and ****er of the totally hot Princess, is the one and only savior?

"Uhh... no."

"WWWHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT?" screamed the well-endowed dude. There was a murmur of shock throughout the crowd.

"HOW DARE YOU DENY THE GREAT MARIO! NO ONE HAS EVER DENIED THE GREAT MARIO! HAVE YOU NO SPERM?"

"Sperm?" asked Cundus, quite bemused and puzzled and wonderous and intrigued and other great adjectives.

"YES, YOU IDIOT! SPERM! SEMEN! EJACULATE! SEED OF YOUR LOINS! SPORES! WE MADE YOU THE CARRIER OF OUR SEED, AND NOW YOU DENY US?"

"OK, just a damn minute. Carrier of your seed? What the hell are you rambling about you giant-member-having idiot?"

"YOU ARE THE IDIOT! WE ARE ****ING SHROOMS! WE REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY BECAUSE THE GREAT MARIO SAYS HE IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO REPRODUCE SEXUALLY!"

"Yeah, that guy sounds like a ******. I bet he's banging your mom."

"ENOUGH! WHAT SAY YE FELLOW TOADSTOOLS??? WHAT SHOULD WE DO TO THE NON-BELIEVER!"

"KILL HIM!" yelled out a guy from the crowd (he had a fairly average-ish sized penis, but decent sized balls).

"YEAH!" yelled another (I'm not even going to go there).

"FINE! IT IS UNANIMOUS... ENOUGH. YOU DIE FOOL!"

The shrooms took began piling sticks around the base of the x. The owl flew around him and pelted him with pebbles, which hurt much worse than the poppy seeds. Cundus began to give up hope.

Suddenly however, a great cloud of dust began to appear just outside of a town. A group of horseback riders rushed through the entrance.

"CUNDUS!!!"
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:45 PM   #131
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Re: woot for road trips

The book was finally found again and the story could actually continue... thats what you get when you use second rate shipping companies to take care of your biznas.

The forest was cold, damp, and dark. Only a slight glimpse of the moon broke through now and again. The group (united again in full .... I think) was on he run from a group of blood thirsty goblins. They had been been on the move now for nearly 3 days, they goblins (known as the Hord of Korthorps) was rounding the group up, not even a day out there was a huge cliff that they were corralling them towards.

"We have to keep moving", said The Green. "They are gaining on us with every passing hour!" Just then Cundus had a rather omnipotent idea. "We shalt not run anymore. We shall stand tall like trees and grow berries." The Blue nearly fainted as this was an idea that was so great but yet so easy so he could of course have never fathomed it. You see goblins are scared as **** of berries, they have been know to actually die or burst into flames at the sight of them. Many people think this is why even to this day goblins are never found on certain cereal boxes. For more information on this strange ideal please read Berries are not for Goblins.

They fashioned they last magic points and sprouted a few berries each, the raspberry kind. They should have waited because the Goblins were a good many miles behind them...but thats what you get when you fell in love. Nearly two days later... two full days of being tree like and berri-full with birds all nesting all up in your kool-aid the Goblins were arriving. Of course they all died/burst into flames and that was that... another crisis avoided. The Red relaxed with a little books on tap action to some Dr Quinn Medicine Woman.

The Blue decided to fashion a teleportation device to aid the group in advancing their journey. It was hard as he was still healing from the massive battle damage he took of heroic proportions (that part was in the text that you can not read... so it sucks to be you). He tested it a little on Cundus while he was asleep and it didnt seem to kill him so he rested good that night.

The next day they all awoke and and made some muffins, the good **** not that 2 cent BS you get at the 5 and dime. They all hopped on their trammed dragon (on yea you missed that bad *** **** as well ****er) and flew off to gain some view of their area. They were surrounded by large gloomy dank nasy mountains with fog moving in from the north/northwest to 5-10mph (according to the w heater channel's local 8 on the 8ths, you read that right, back in the day it was two words not correctly spelled) The dragon made a swooping noise much like butter rushing from the inner bowed lip of a spoon and they dived deep into the foggy abyss....

They skidded to a stop on the edge of a razor shap clilff called razers edge (this is how we got the name for razors). Strangely enough there was an oracle nearby huffing some gasoline. They decided to approach him for some information on the area.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:56 PM   #132
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Re: woot for road trips

After the muffins, the group was famished. If they did not find food within the next couple of hours, they would surely drown. Unfortunately, the teleportation device still was not coming along to well and their Delorean was all out of gas.

This irritated The Blue, in particular, to no end. He was still depressed about his near fatal wounds and would barely speak to anyone. Then he spaketh:

"I have a dream. That one day, we will be judged not by the furriness of our brows, but by the size of our left pinky toe."

Cundus agreed with this whole-heartedly, in part due to his extremely large left pinky toe. His brow was very well-endowed too, however, so no one knew exactly why he was so erect.

The Blue's sudden speech seemed to finally turn things around for the group. They were, as a result, in much better spirits than they had previously been. Later that night, they arrived at a great sea (known in modern times as the Sea of the Dragon of the Blue-Tailed Sphynx That Sat By the Dragon of the Red-Feathered Mouse-Eating Ferrett). The bank of the sea was rocky and filled with rocks. They climed down the rocks gingerly and thymely and maybe a little oreganoly until they finally reached a beautiful beach.
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Old 09-08-2007, 03:24 PM   #133
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Re: woot for road trips

o no he di ent

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Old 09-08-2007, 11:18 PM   #134
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Re: woot for road trips

After a few hours of playing "Hide the potatoe"* (as spelled by the Sir Quail), the group had got done with their union mandated coffee break and got back to where they were.

This A&E true story event is brought to you by, Badger's Balm and condoms provided by Tidy Man Penis Covers. Do you want to leave her pink nice and tidy when you are through? Remember Tidy Man Penis Covers, We keep the pink, pink.

The group following the ghastly apparition of Gusto put their ankles to the pedestal and trodged onward. The Green could not help but keep gloating about the continued existance of his imaginary friend. The Black was getting super pissed because he bought the extended warranty on his imaginary friend. But little did he know that the warranty did not cover disappearances caused by science or floods. The Red had been practicing his "Low Jack" skills (AKA Caribou milking) and was contemplating trying for a scholarship, maybe even pro especially since ESPN 2 had started televising Caribou milking events.

The Blue meanwhile ventured on on his solitary quest to find the plum/cape guy. The Blue, through his many training sessions with fighting amoebas has now leveled to 4 (like in really crappy rpg's that take like a year to make one level). He has recoverd from the gout he got earlier that you tools wont get to read about. The story was super cool and involved Higher Vorns, dark light, a Zebra named Barfo, and a can of Daper Dan.

The Orange (yes he was through with that **** again) continued on his intercept course to intercept the course of the interceptable party...course. For more on Geometry and Interceptable Courses, please see the video: Doormroom Hunnies Go To Strappy Town IV. Seizing a freshly forged Trident (made from little bits of Lance Bass'es/'s/s' Steel and Brawn) and a broken tv antenna/antenae he spit on himself (a little) and continued on his previous trajectory. But now he had to go a little more rightish because, as he said, due to his inconcievable math skills he calculated the group had moved a little more slowly due to their low spirits. IE, they were running low on spirits so their HP'z wuz almost glue. IN (as opposed to out) reality, The Orange had to move right a little because some frickin huge badger had just laid down a massive load right in the middle of the unpaved blacktop path he had been following. Makes since doesn't it boys and girls?
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Old 12-05-2007, 12:19 PM   #135
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Re: woot for road trips

Sadly fifteen pages of the story were ripped out. We can quickly sum it up though in the following.

The Blue and the Orange got into the usual tug of war match over skippy peanut butter. The Red created a very interesting strategy to help them catch rocks. The Blue tried to glue on some mail order eye brows.... again. Cundus died again and then was back alive again. They wandered into yet another dead end town where they earned money wrastlin' pigs. The Green made a name for himself after breaking the current town record for the number of melons one anus can contain.

They ran into more trouble of course where they had to use their wizardness to break spells and destroy evil. They caught and tamed a group of wild flying monkeys who they are now riding around. Hey, its faster and lets face it... it makes for a better story. Three months have now passed in the last fifteen pages. Now we are back on track. They are flying due north towards Last Cape Town. They hope to gather more information on tracking down their enemies and bust some heads.
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Old 12-05-2007, 12:38 PM   #136
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Re: woot for road trips

Oh lord...
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Old 12-05-2007, 12:59 PM   #137
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Re: woot for road trips

lmfao! it lives again
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Old 12-05-2007, 05:29 PM   #138
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Re: woot for road trips

suddenly the wild flying monkeys began to attack because they were left out of the skippy peanut tug-of-war match. thats when they were approached by a beast that was, half man, half bear pig, or some would say, half man, half bear, half pig.
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Old 12-05-2007, 07:09 PM   #139
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Re: woot for road trips

I may have to go to bed early from reading all this... my brain is a little over temp i think.
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Old 12-06-2007, 10:09 PM   #140
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Re: woot for road trips

As darkness began to fall, the group decided that they had best call it a night. However, since it was only dusk, and not yet technically night, dusk did not take kindly to this. He challenged the entire group to darts and beat them all badly. I suppose it goes without saying, but this put our travellers in a very sour mood. The Blue learned coffeism.

Which turned out to be a bad thing. A very bad thing. As you may or may not know, or may have used to know but then forgotten, or maybe even thought about learning but just never really got around to it, or maybe even forgot due to amnesia (see "Amnesia and Its Effect on Latent Coffeeism" by Sir Gordo if you feel you may be under the effect of amnesia and latent coffeism (hence the title of the book)), coffeeism can often lead to a certain lack of restraint. The Blue was experiencing this lack of restraint.

First, he attempted to gargle salt water. This led to the dancing of a certain Irish jig (which cannot be named due to copyright reasons) by the entire group, much to their dismay of course. The Black was particularly angry, mainly because of what happened to his ancestors at the hands of the Irish back in the late 30000 ADs. He attempted to strike The Blue with a quarter, but The Blue's coffeism had increased his depth perception.

Next, The Blue shaved his back hair and used it to start a great pyre (such was the spelling in those days of yorishness). The flame could be seen for miles and miles around. Some children were scared, so their mothers made them watch Homestar and drink some marshalades at least forty times.

Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to the group, certain eyes gazed upon the great pyre that night whom were not so "friendly". In fact, you could say they were "unfriendly". Perhaps even "malevolent". Or "bad". Yes, lots of words could indeed be used. We shall stick with "bad".

The owner of those "bad" eyes knew exactly what was going on the moment he saw the flames dancing above the trees. A sick and twisted joy came over said eye owner as he realized that his hunt for The Wet Stick may soon be over.
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