I was just checking out some Alabama laws, and I think I know why people there suck so much...
LAWS FOR THE STATE OF ALABAMA:
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile
You must have windshield wipers on your car
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time
Masks may not be worn in public
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men
Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate
Interracial couples may not marry (Repealed)
Pool halls may not be operated between 11:30 PM and 6 AM
No billiard hall may operate a trap-door to a place where persons gather for "immoral purposes".
No persons may sell "blow-out nuts".
It is illegal to stake a horse on a highway
Hunting is not allowed on Sunday
Sex toys are banned throughout the state
Solitaire may not be played on Sundays
ALABAMA CITY LAWS:
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street
No person may spit on the floor of a church
If an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer
It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday
It is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits
It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels
It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses (Repealed)