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Old 09-18-2006, 12:17 PM   #1
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Some Jokes

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and
promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball,
but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella
agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any
later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes,
and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up,
looking love struck and very satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!"

" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"

Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly. Peter, Peter, something or
other..."
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
Gepetto to see if he could help.

Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio
skipped away enlightened.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town
and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
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