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Old 10-19-2006, 07:16 AM   #1
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Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say





////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
M
y tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


H
eard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


L
ooking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder.

"What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


C
ongratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


H
ow could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I
've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you .

I've changed my mind.


-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------


I
must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A
s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################


C
ongratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

H
appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


H
appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


W
hen we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

W
e have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


I
'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================

C
ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Y
our friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


S
o your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.
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Old 10-19-2006, 09:35 AM   #2
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

some of those are good haha.. good find
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Old 10-19-2006, 11:11 AM   #3
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

The last one was great.
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Old 10-19-2006, 11:21 AM   #4
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

haha. I laughed. Funny stuff
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Old 10-19-2006, 11:40 AM   #5
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

The uncle dad one also pertains to Arkansas. And some backwood areas of Texas and Georgia. Just ask sexylil66.
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Old 10-19-2006, 12:27 PM   #6
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

haha... I actually need a few of those
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Old 10-19-2006, 01:26 PM   #7
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Originally Posted by Aidan_04 View Post
haha... I actually need a few of those
Quote:
********************************************************************************
[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B]
H
appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
[B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Arial][B]
:buckteeth
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Old 10-19-2006, 01:59 PM   #8
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

Those are funny haha
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Old 10-19-2006, 02:16 PM   #9
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
The uncle dad one also pertains to Arkansas. And some backwood areas of Texas and Georgia. Just ask sexylil66.
Oh ha-ha. Like they don't have backwood idiots in your neighborhood.:cloud:
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Old 10-19-2006, 04:54 PM   #10
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Originally Posted by Sexylil66 View Post
Oh ha-ha. Like they don't have backwood idiots in your neighborhood.:cloud:
There's so much fun I could hsve with that quote. But I won't
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Old 10-19-2006, 06:35 PM   #11
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Originally Posted by Herbstang View Post
There's so much fun I could hsve with that quote. But I won't
hell why hold back now?
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Old 10-19-2006, 07:12 PM   #12
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sexylil66 View Post
hell why hold back now?
He's afraid that you might actually be smarter than he is, and any comeback he has now would get owned by you
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Old 10-19-2006, 07:16 PM   #13
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

I smoked some very,very good dro
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Old 10-19-2006, 07:17 PM   #14
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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I smoked some very,very good dro
And that, my friends, is the perfect reason to not do anything. :smoke:
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Old 10-19-2006, 07:35 PM   #15
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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He's afraid that you might actually be smarter than he is, and any comeback he has now would get owned by you
Nah..he just knows that he is the only backwood idiot in here.:cloud:
Dee-tah-Dee
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Old 10-20-2006, 12:03 PM   #16
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Nah..he just knows that he is the only backwood idiot in here.:cloud:
Dee-tah-Dee
You had to start I may be a backwoods idiot But at least I'm straight
It seems your fingers not only did your typing, but did your thinking too. Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? To quote Thomas Brackett Reed: "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
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Old 10-20-2006, 12:42 PM   #17
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

So what now? Are you trying to act like some bachelor degree graduate from harvard? Did you know its a known fact that smoking marijuana can deplete your knowledge, and it can also mess with your short term memory. I am going to ignore your little gay comment because that is none of your ****ing business anymore. How old are you again? get over it. Maybe you should analyze your own sexuality before you go and make fun of someone elses. But since you are such a potsmoking smart ***, you probably cant keep a woman around long enough to find out what love really is, and what its like to have meaning in your everyday relationships.
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Old 10-20-2006, 12:49 PM   #18
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

Aww ****, he we go again...
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Old 10-20-2006, 12:52 PM   #19
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

No we're not..cause it was over before it started.
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Old 10-20-2006, 02:00 PM   #20
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sexylil66 View Post
No we're not..cause it was over before it started.
Oh snap!


something a guy never wants to hear on a first date 2:
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Old 10-20-2006, 02:44 PM   #21
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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No we're not..cause it was over before it started.
Normally I refuse to do battle with a unarmed person But
I don't know what makes you such a worthless poster, but it really works! Generally, there is nothing wrong with having nothing worthwhile to say - unless you insist on saying it. If you knew what you're talking about, you'd be dangerous. How true is Stanislaw J. Lec's famous remark: "Every now and then you meet someone whose ignorance is encyclopedic."
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Old 10-20-2006, 02:48 PM   #22
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

I am not even gonna argue with some worthless pothead.
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Old 10-20-2006, 02:57 PM   #23
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

ok folks, come on now. Herb was just havin some fun. I understand the gay bf thing is done now, but around here, we give each other a real hard time, all the time. I might get it worse than anyone. It is because we are all so close on this site.

Herb, she is new around here, so she may not be used to the ribbing we got goin on here.
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:01 PM   #24
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

Ahh The Little Princess is upset Your worthless pothead remarks just hurt so much:smoke:
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:03 PM   #25
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Originally Posted by n8r View Post
Herb, she is new around here, so she may not be used to the ribbing we got goin on here.
Yeah Wilson...relax a little bit. Although, I am not sure if he is ribbing or not....then again, I didn't read the gay thread either.
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:05 PM   #26
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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ok folks, come on now. Herb was just havin some fun. I understand the gay bf thing is done now, but around here, we give each other a real hard time, all the time. I might get it worse than anyone. It is because we are all so close on this site.

Herb, she is new around here, so she may not be used to the ribbing we got goin on here.
Your Right !!!!! savannah If I offend you I.m sorry But could I post a little Joke story I wrote about you ???
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:09 PM   #27
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Your Right !!!!! savannah If I offend you I.m sorry But could I post a little Joke story I wrote about you ???
I like reading funny stories.
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:09 PM   #28
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Yeah Wilson...relax a little bit. Although, I am not sure if he is ribbing or not....then again, I didn't read the gay thread either.
Just joking and thought she was doing the same My mistake
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:12 PM   #29
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. And much to my surprise it was savannah "Do you need some help?" I asked. savannah replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a very distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she handed it to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk for a sweet southern Bell"

P.S._-It all in fun
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:16 PM   #30
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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Originally Posted by Herbstang View Post
Just joking and thought she was doing the same My mistake
Your quotes did remind me of Wilson from Home Improvement though. lol
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:19 PM   #31
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. And much to my surprise it was savannah "Do you need some help?" I asked. savannah replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a very distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she handed it to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk for a sweet southern Bell"

P.S._-It all in fun
that didnt even make sense...you tell me I post worthless **** on here? please.
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:37 PM   #32
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

I wish I could still be a pothead....
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:40 PM   #33
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I wish I could still be a pothead....
x2.
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:47 PM   #34
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

wasn't suppose to make sense. It was a joke maybe a bad one but a joke none the less
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:47 PM   #35
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Re: Things Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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that didnt even make sense...you tell me I post worthless **** on here? please.
oh i def got the point of his post....
















in a nice way hes calling you a "blonde"
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