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Old 10-25-2006, 03:33 PM   #1
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Message from Osama

After numerous rounds of " We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama
himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a note in his own handwriting to
let him know he was still in the game.

Kennedy opened the note, which appeared to contain a single line of
coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.

Kennedy was baffled, so he E-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his
aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it
at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps
Intelligence for help.

Within a few seconds, the Marines called back with this reply: "Tell
Kennedy he is holding the message upside down".
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:34 PM   #2
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Re: Message from Osama

Arizona Republic New Article SAD STORY
The Arizona Republic Phoenix, AZ-- A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Phoenix courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Arizona Cardinals, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:40 PM   #3
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Re: Message from Osama

Wow.. Jingle Bells in Reverse

http://portalmix.com/club/revista/cu...s_Reversed.swf
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:40 PM   #4
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Re: Message from Osama

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken View Post
Arizona Republic New Article SAD STORY
The Arizona Republic Phoenix, AZ-- A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Phoenix courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Arizona Cardinals, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
My Dad told me that Joke but it was Mike Shula adopting the kid because he wasn't capable of beating anyone
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:41 PM   #5
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Re: Message from Osama

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I ****ing hate you
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:44 PM   #6
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Re: Message from Osama

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So not even falling for it... OLD!!! REPOST OMG
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:45 PM   #7
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Re: Message from Osama

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I ****ing hate you

:woo:
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:49 PM   #8
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Re: Message from Osama

i had a feeling that jingle bells one was going to be one of those ****ing annoying jump out at you things...
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Old 10-25-2006, 03:53 PM   #9
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Re: Message from Osama

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Calgary Alberta, while awaiting their respective flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Pincher Creek. Another is a Cowboy on his way to
Lethbridge for a livestock show. The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at the University of Calgary from the Middle East.

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.

The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The Alberta cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe the time's a-comin'."
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Old 10-25-2006, 10:50 PM   #10
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Re: Message from Osama

i knew that was coming. turned off the sound lol.
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Old 10-25-2006, 11:04 PM   #11
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Re: Message from Osama

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Just sent in about 7 emails.
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Old 10-27-2006, 11:29 AM   #12
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Re: Message from Osama

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about

Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go.

At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba asks him,

"What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, 'Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?
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Old 10-27-2006, 11:30 AM   #13
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Re: Message from Osama

Why do men get so worked up about woman wearing leather?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because they smell like a new Mustang!
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