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Old 11-08-2006, 04:14 PM   #1
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The Perfect Presidential Speech

This would be nice if a president had the nuts to say this speech:


> My Fellow Americans: As you all know,the defeat of Iraq regime
> has been completed.
>
> Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
> our mission in Iraq is complete.
>
> This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all
> American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30
> days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
>
> Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of
> countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This
> list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain , Bulgaria, Australia, and
> Poland are some of the countries listed there.
>
> The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of
> the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
> distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
>
> Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
> those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs
> of the Iraqi war.
>
> The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
> world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
> corruption.
>
> Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
> In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect
> this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at
> home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us
> and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from
> the face of the earth.
>
>
>
> Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
>
>
> I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
> France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
> are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes a mis.
>
>
>
> I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the
> many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two
> unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded and crushed I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to
> this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those
> tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be
> turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New
> York.
>
>
>
> A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
> likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
> try not pissing us off for a change.
>
>
>
> Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
> government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
> extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around.
> Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
>
>
>
> Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
> starting now.
>
>
>
>
> We are tired of the one-way highway.
> Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take
> care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an
> environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2
above: pick a country and move there. They care.
>
>
> It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
> citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by
> saying, "darn tootin."
>
>
>
>
> Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around
> the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone
on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time
> to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a
> final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
>
> To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
>
>
> God bless America. Thank you and goodnight.
> If you can read this, thank a teacher.
> If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
>
>
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Old 11-08-2006, 04:24 PM   #2
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Re: The Perfect Presidential Speech

one of those....if only type deals
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Old 11-08-2006, 04:25 PM   #3
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Re: The Perfect Presidential Speech

it will never happen. but one can wish.
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Old 11-08-2006, 04:55 PM   #4
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Re: The Perfect Presidential Speech

good stuff
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Old 11-08-2006, 05:07 PM   #5
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Re: The Perfect Presidential Speech

I want to live in a country where that president is in office.
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Old 11-08-2006, 07:01 PM   #6
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Re: The Perfect Presidential Speech

nice.
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Old 11-08-2006, 10:52 PM   #7
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Re: The Perfect Presidential Speech

A-****ING-MEN.

i would so do that speech once voted in.
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