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Old 11-08-2006, 10:36 PM   #1
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The Ark

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to co! nvince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
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Old 11-08-2006, 10:40 PM   #2
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Re: The Ark



That was great
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Old 11-08-2006, 11:12 PM   #3
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Re: The Ark

haha awesome
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Old 11-08-2006, 11:30 PM   #4
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Re: The Ark

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Old 11-09-2006, 08:17 AM   #5
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Re: The Ark

thats CA for you
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:10 AM   #6
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Re: The Ark

wow, i've neveR seen that before

:pnoid:
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:36 AM   #7
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Re: The Ark

me neither
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:41 AM   #8
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Re: The Ark

I need to see evidence that this is actually a repost.
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:44 AM   #9
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Re: The Ark

I dont tink I have seen it on here before
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:52 AM   #10
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Re: The Ark

I've never seen it before either.
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:55 AM   #11
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Re: The Ark

on a side noTe:

There is a Bruce Almighty 2 "Evan Almighty" coming out in which Steve Carell is making an ark. Should be funny, I love Steve Carell.
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:59 AM   #12
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Re: The Ark

So, it's been Repost.d and nobody can provide evidence that this is a warranted accusation?
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:07 AM   #13
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Re: The Ark

that's what I was wondering... I've never seen it.. and can't find anywhere that it might be on here.
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:09 AM   #14
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Re: The Ark

Dark!! You are the instigator of the dreaded Repost.ding. Bring forth the evidence, or suffer the consequences.
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:11 AM   #15
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Re: The Ark

we are two quick to judge and we may have made a very big mistake and in the end we may face potential law suits.
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:22 AM   #16
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Re: The Ark

You are charged with illegal and slanderous use of the dreaded repost.d. How do you plea?
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:24 AM   #17
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Re: The Ark

i just got back.. give me a minute
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:26 AM   #18
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Re: The Ark

lol, ok, i've seen it before. apparently not on this forum...

:pnoid:
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:38 AM   #19
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Re: The Ark

In reading this I have come to realize that the government has gone against it's own regulations of the seperation of church and state.

I've seen this before and I laugh everytime I read it.
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Old 11-09-2006, 03:39 PM   #20
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Re: The Ark

haha thats pretty funny
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