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Old 12-01-2006, 10:21 PM   #1
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advice please

HELP!! how do ya deal with over protective parents??? its gettin a little ridiculous now.. it was just them tellin me the same old thing about bein out too much or whatever.. but now its gotten to where they critique my every move.. i cant say anything cuz im 16 and still live with him.. but its gettin annoyin... any advice?:dunno:
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:24 PM   #2
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Re: advice please

I'm not even going to attempt to answer this one. I'll just get people in trouble.
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:20 AM   #3
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Re: advice please

Sit them down and tell them how u feel... Tell them that they are over protective and that they need to let up becuase one day you are gonna be on your own and if they keep doing this then when u do get on your own you not gonna know what to do... They critique your every move so when u get on your own you wont have the responsibility because u havent had a chance to get out and learn about real life....
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Old 12-02-2006, 01:24 AM   #4
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Re: advice please

make them watch fight club.

nah, seriously, deal with it for now. they are your parents and its a stage of your life when you are growing up but still have to deal with them. you'll realize how necessary it is someday. im 20 and i realize it already. when i come home from college im the greatest son for the first 2 or 3 days then i go back to the whole rebellious teen. its hard to be under the authority of another, but its somethin u gotta do.
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Old 12-02-2006, 02:50 AM   #5
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Re: advice please

Normally when you aren't over protective you build a better bond with one another. When there's that trust, everybody is happy.
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Old 12-02-2006, 09:00 AM   #6
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Re: advice please

here is a parent's view. me being one, i can slightly understand where your's are coming from. i have 2 young boys and while i don't critique their every move, i am quick to correct them when they have done wrong.

it's not necessarily them trying to run or ruin your life. they don't want you to make the same mistakes they did when they were your age. every parent wants their kid to be better than them. if they see you making those same mistakes, they afraid that it could be worse for you than it was for them. history is doomed to repeat itself it you don't learn from it and what they learned is to make sure you don't repeat their past. if you want to be treated like an adult, act like one. not saying you act like a child now, i don't even know you. but take your responsibilities seriously. show them that you are serious in every attempt that you make to complete a task that is given to you. IMO, only then will they start to realize that they have done well to raise a responsible young lady and a mentally strong adult. remember, your parents are in panic mode right now. you could leave in a couple of years and they aren't sure if they have done enough to get you ready to go out on your own. show them that they have and maybe they'll give you a little move control over your life.

that is all.
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Old 12-02-2006, 09:17 AM   #7
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Re: advice please

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Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
here is a parent's view. me being one, i can slightly understand where your's are coming from. i have 2 young boys and while i don't critique their every move, i am quick to correct them when they have done wrong.

it's not necessarily them trying to run or ruin your life. they don't want you to make the same mistakes they did when they were your age. every parent wants their kid to be better than them. if they see you making those same mistakes, they afraid that it could be worse for you than it was for them. history is doomed to repeat itself it you don't learn from it and what they learned is to make sure you don't repeat their past. if you want to be treated like an adult, act like one. not saying you act like a child now, i don't even know you. but take your responsibilities seriously. show them that you are serious in every attempt that you make to complete a task that is given to you. IMO, only then will they start to realize that they have done well to raise a responsible young lady and a mentally strong adult. remember, your parents are in panic mode right now. you could leave in a couple of years and they aren't sure if they have done enough to get you ready to go out on your own. show them that they have and maybe they'll give you a little move control over your life.

that is all.



It sounds like your parents care for you & are concerned that you are on the right path. Too many parents today don't care, be happy yours do.
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:53 PM   #8
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Re: advice please

i would consider myself a young adult now since im livin on my own majority of the year and i can see both sides' reasons for what they do.

its a viscous cycle. they dont want you to make the same mistakes, but you have to in order to learn. theyll try to stop you, just as their parents probably did, but you'll still find a way to live your own life regardless of what they say. its their house, their rules. its their role just as you play your own. ever hear the saying life is a stage? its true. they are the parents, they have to parent. you are the son, you are going to do what 99% of teenagers do. you might think it sucks or is unfair, but you have to deal with it. trust me, its for your own good. its not overprotective care, its called love, stress, worrying, and concern. everyone goes through with it, and majority of people end up normal haha.

if you really want some freedom, dont try to rebel. do what they say. respect what they say and in return you will also get some respect and some freedom. in my life for example, i was a pretty well behaved teen. i mean, i wasn't an angel, but i never got myself in trouble with cops.. i basically was smart and responsible. then senior year came around and they let me do what i want when i want. why? because they trusted me. so when i stayed out all night and came home the next morning.. my parents knew that i drank, but decided to stay there because i didnt want to drive or something like that. they would also be okay with my drinking because they know im a responsible drinker and know my limits (took a few lessons of puking and blacking out to learn what my limit was though haha). they know im not going to do something stupid and drinking is a pretty big part of teenage life, so they were okay with it. so, the morale of the story is live your life, but be smart about it.

and for the parents out there, you'd be surprised how much we really do listen even if we don't show it. as much as we rebel in those teenage years, we are still a product of your upbringing and things you taught us stick with us.
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Old 12-02-2006, 01:18 PM   #9
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Re: advice please

If I had a 16 year old daughter, I'd be over protective too. Have you seen how ****ed up the world is lately?

Be thankful that you have parents that care enough to be over protective. Be thankful that you have a roof over your head. And when you get older and get out on your own, you'll be able to go out and make whatever mistakes you want.
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Old 12-02-2006, 04:59 PM   #10
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Re: advice please

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If I had a 16 year old daughter, I'd be over protective too. Have you seen how ****ed up the world is lately?

Be thankful that you have parents that care enough to be over protective. Be thankful that you have a roof over your head. And when you get older and get out on your own, you'll be able to go out and make whatever mistakes you want.
x2.

This would be my advice also.

You will appreciate your parents one day, I promise.
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Old 12-02-2006, 07:56 PM   #11
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Re: advice please

move out here to cali, ill take care of you.
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Old 12-02-2006, 08:15 PM   #12
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Re: advice please

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move out here to cali, ill take care of you.
:badidea: :lame:
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Old 12-02-2006, 09:14 PM   #13
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Re: advice please

Coming to Cali is a bad idea for anybody. Not just for Thomas ;p

How about killing your parents with kindness till they want you out of the house?
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Old 12-02-2006, 10:02 PM   #14
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Re: advice please

How about just putting up with the fact you are 16, they are your parents, and there is nothing you can do about it.

I'm so sick of the rebelling teen saying their parents are always putting them down. There is no need for a 16 year old to be out doing anything besides watching a movie with a friend or being home asleep in the bed after 10pm on any night.
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Old 12-02-2006, 10:18 PM   #15
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Re: advice please

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:badidea: :lame:
lol yeah, its the only comment i could come up with. i dunno what i was thinking oh holy one. please do not spite thee.
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Old 12-03-2006, 11:11 AM   #16
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Re: advice please

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How about just putting up with the fact you are 16, they are your parents, and there is nothing you can do about it.

I'm so sick of the rebelling teen saying their parents are always putting them down. There is no need for a 16 year old to be out doing anything besides watching a movie with a friend or being home asleep in the bed after 10pm on any night.

how about no

cause you know good and well when you where 16 you were the same way... and i seriously doubt you went to be before 10 lol

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Old 12-03-2006, 12:36 PM   #17
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Re: advice please

they probably know what they are talking about. there really isn't anything you can do, trust me i've been there but i now realize they were probably right.

just be thankful you have parents that care about you. i've got a little sister thats 16 and i'm just like a 3rd parent to her
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Old 12-03-2006, 03:23 PM   #18
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Re: advice please

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how about no

cause you know good and well when you where 16 you were the same way... and i seriously doubt you went to be before 10 lol
Will...you really don't know me that well.

When I was 16, I didn't party, didn't drink, didn't have a gf, didn't do any of that stuff. My idea of going out was going to a friend's house and watching a movie, that was about the only time I was ever out past 10, and then my curfew was 12.

My parents were very protective, they always knew where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, etc, and I think they did the right thing. I never got caught up with the wrong crowd, didn't get arrested for drinking as a minor, didn't sneak out at night to go do things. Sure, I complained, but looking back on it now they were completely right and I don't blame them a bit for it, I just hope they are as hard on my brother as they were on me (he turns 15 in feb).

I have changed alot since high school, I have also gained alot of real world knowledge as far as what is acceptable and such. I still don't go out and party, still obey my parents and help them in any way possible. The way I see it, they spent 17 years raising me to go out into this world, if they saw fit to be hard on me and teach me what was right and wrong then who am I to tell them they were wrong.

Just had to put my 2 cents worth in on there and say sometimes...parents are right.
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Old 12-03-2006, 07:30 PM   #19
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Re: advice please

just realize that you are 16 and for all purposes rather stupid and you dont understand things as they do. When you get older you will definatly understand why they do it. Some parents even then are simply overboard in how they control their kids. My advise would be get a good stable job (not just working at a fast food joint something worthwhile) and you will stat to get more respect from them and you will become more free from it.
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Old 12-03-2006, 07:33 PM   #20
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Re: advice please

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My advise would be get a good stable job (not just working at a fast food joint something worthwhile) and you will stat to get more respect from them and you will become more free from it.
That's good advice if I've ever heard of it. The best way to get more freedom from you parents is not to rebel and things of that nature... You are much better off earning it by showing them that you are responsible enough to have it.
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Old 12-03-2006, 07:34 PM   #21
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Re: advice please

you don't demand respect. you command respect. in other words, carry yourself and treat others in such a way that you earn their respect, i.e., you command it.
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Old 12-03-2006, 07:37 PM   #22
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Re: advice please

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Will...you really don't know me that well.

When I was 16, I didn't party, didn't drink, didn't have a gf, didn't do any of that stuff. My idea of going out was going to a friend's house and watching a movie, that was about the only time I was ever out past 10, and then my curfew was 12.

My parents were very protective, they always knew where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, etc, and I think they did the right thing. I never got caught up with the wrong crowd, didn't get arrested for drinking as a minor, didn't sneak out at night to go do things. Sure, I complained, but looking back on it now they were completely right and I don't blame them a bit for it, I just hope they are as hard on my brother as they were on me (he turns 15 in feb).
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Old 12-03-2006, 07:40 PM   #23
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Re: advice please

yea I never did any stupid stuff ever, I didnt go out and did stupid ****~ I earned trust and gained respect and was allowed to do a good bit. At 16 its hard to stay the straight course and not be retarded, you just have to work at it and realize that there are consequences for your actions that you have to consider.
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Old 12-03-2006, 11:52 PM   #24
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Re: advice please

yea.. ive made some pretty stupid mistakes in the past and i am still paying for them...i keep straight a's in school.. i got a job when they told me to so i am paying for my own gas and cell phone bill now.. and i am doing my best to keep up my end of the chores around the house.. it just seems like i am doing everything they ask and when i am doing good they get on me about my attitude or just stuff that seems nit picky to me.. i mean i aint the rebellious teen that alot of people are at my age.. i should have specified.. i dont drink, i dont sleep around like a lot of girls at my school, i dont do drugs, and i dont stay out all the time.. yea i do ask to go out with my bf alot but thats just because he goes to state and i dont get to see him all that much.. and i love him which is hard for them to believe.. and they complain about that and they dont really like the fact that he is 19.. but they kinda got over that.. but they dont like me spending alot of time with him because they think im "getting too close to him".. i take them seriously but it just seems like they are just finding something to critique me on.. and all i hear is "your 16 you shouldnt be doing this and that".. which i realize you people dont know me from adam's housecat but im not just the average 16 year old.. and my parents tell me that.. they tell me im exceptional but then when i make one mistake by their standards they jump on me.. but i handle it.. i love my parents and i know they are just trying to do what is best for me.. but i just wish they would realize the harder they push me the more it makes me want to rebel.. but i dont.. it puts alot of pressure on me and it is pushing me further and further away from them and they are afraid of losing me.. but i cant tell them that because they take it as me threatening them and having an attitude.. i just had to clarify that im not just a normal 16 year old complaining about mommy and daddy because i didnt get my way.. sorry for any confusion on that...
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Old 12-04-2006, 12:10 AM   #25
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Re: advice please

see hun, you have the idea.. and I was definitely in this position when I was 16. Keep up the grades, and the job, and just work hard at things, including putting up with them for a while longer (I know it's hard sometimes), and you should grow into yourself pretty well. I know what they say may seem absolutely 'out there' and 'not right' for you at times.. but I would venture to say that they know what they're doing, as mine definitely did.. they were VERY protective of me as well at that age, so just stick with it for a while longer. You'll see one day what they're trying to do.
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Old 12-04-2006, 12:38 AM   #26
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Re: advice please

they are just lookin out for you because they know it wont work out. they are right... no matter what you think. you can say as many "we are different though because..." stories as you like, but relationships like that are very common. trust me, i was in one and im sure many on this site can agree with me when i say that young love no matter how perfect it may seem usually ends. honestly though, dont listen to them. live and learn. youll see that they were right in the end.

i dont mean that in a mean way or sarcastically either. im literally saying that continue to date him and remember i told you this haha.
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Old 12-04-2006, 08:14 AM   #27
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Re: advice please

Be glad your parents arnt super anal, if you lived in TX they could legally have your BF arrested and put in jail under pedophile charges since he is over 18 and you are not regardless of your consent.
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Old 12-04-2006, 08:27 AM   #28
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Re: advice please

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Be glad your parents arnt super anal, if you lived in TX they could legally have your BF arrested and put in jail under pedophile charges since he is over 18 and you are not regardless of your consent.
so very true. a friend of mine just got out from serving 10 yrs because his gf was 15 and he was 19. her father pressed charges and even though she stood in front of the judge and said she consented and she loved him, the judge said sorry sweetie, you have no rights in my courtroom. so in TX, the saying 15 will get you 20 was almost accurate.
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Old 12-04-2006, 03:03 PM   #29
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Re: advice please

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so very true. a friend of mine just got out from serving 10 yrs because his gf was 15 and he was 19. her father pressed charges and even though she stood in front of the judge and said she consented and she loved him, the judge said sorry sweetie, you have no rights in my courtroom. so in TX, the saying 15 will get you 20 was almost accurate.
texas sucks haha.
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Old 12-04-2006, 04:16 PM   #30
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Re: advice please

Your parents are trying to do what "they think" is best for you. Its only because they love you. If it wasnt for my parents being like they were to me, Theres no telling what I would be doing. I really didnt get to do anything until I graduated! and it sucked. I have an older brother thats 14 yrs older than me and a sis thats 7 yrs older than me. My parents just didnt want me to make the same mistakes they did and the same mistakes my bro and sis made. The thing is... I was around enough crap my brother and sis did to not want to do anything bad. I turned out decent because of my parents and I kno its hard sometimes but you'll get through it, trust me. Just dont do anything extreme. When I was 15 my bf was 19 and I dated him almost 4 yrs until I found out what a mistake I was making. My parents always told me he wasnt good for me and I always said they didnt know what they were talking about. Now im 23, on my 4th longterm relationship and I still dont understand men haha. Just try to understand their side but at the same time they need to try to understand you.
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Need advice.... 4.2 wh!te_stang Pre-2005 V6 Mustang 19 01-06-2009 08:18 PM
Need Advice Herbstang Pre-2005 V6 Mustang 2 09-29-2006 10:29 AM
desire advice... stock investment type advice... dark The Bar 4 04-23-2006 07:07 PM

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