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Old 03-06-2007, 07:41 AM   #1
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For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this
would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what
I am capable of. However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe .... for now.
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Old 03-06-2007, 07:50 AM   #2
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

Hahahaha, I'm not a dog person really.....but the cat diary was HILARIOUS.

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Old 03-06-2007, 08:07 AM   #3
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

That's great...
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:00 AM   #4
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

I love dogs not cats so much mines probably thinking we cut one of his legs off so he couldnt escape

he got hit by a car and we had to have it cut off
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:10 AM   #5
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

yea i read that somewhere else... its funny... and sad party its probably true 8P
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:37 AM   #6
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

lol.. im a dog and cat fan and i enjoyed it haha.
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:30 AM   #7
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

interesting. my cat was an outdoor and indoor pet. in the morning wed let it outside and he would run about our yard and each house next to us, but thats as far as he went. then he come home once he heard one of us pull up. captive my ***.
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Old 03-06-2007, 02:31 PM   #8
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

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Old 03-06-2007, 02:56 PM   #9
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

The cat one sounds like Stewie and that's cool in my book
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Old 03-06-2007, 02:57 PM   #10
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

Had to take a picture out of me with my dog cause it could be tampered with by you net heads!

I <3 my dog.
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Old 03-06-2007, 02:58 PM   #11
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

Quote:
Originally Posted by RySko View Post
Had to take a picture out of me with my dog cause it could be tampered with by you net heads!

I <3 my dog.
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Old 03-06-2007, 03:00 PM   #12
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Re: For those of you who LOVE their dogs and cats not so much

**** **** *** *****
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