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Old 03-16-2007, 01:31 PM   #1
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The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.


"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.


"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.


"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy,"



But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"



The third piggy says -



"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!
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Old 03-16-2007, 01:35 PM   #2
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Re: The Three Little Pigs

I'm offended.
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Old 03-16-2007, 01:36 PM   #3
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Re: The Three Little Pigs

Not one of your better moments
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Old 03-16-2007, 01:44 PM   #4
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Re: The Three Little Pigs

How about this.

Quote:
Subject: FW: Perspective on Poverty
>
>
>
> One day, the father of a very wealthy
> family took his son on a trip to the country with
> the express purpose of showing him how poor
> people live. They spent a couple of days and
> nights on the farm of what would be considered a
> very poor family.
>
> On their return from their trip,
> the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
>
> "It was great, Dad."
>
> "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
>
> "Oh yeah," said the son!
>
> "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?"
> asked the father.
>
> The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog
> and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to
> the middle of our garden and they have a creek
> that has no end. We have imported lanterns in
> our garden and they have the stars at night. Our
> patio reaches to the front yard and they have the
> whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to
> live on and they have fields that go beyond our
> sight. We have servants who serve us, but they
> serve others. We buy our food, but they grow
> Theirs. We have walls around our property to
> protect us, they have friends to protect them."
>
> The boy's father was speechless.
>
> Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing
> me how poor we are!!"
>
> Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes
> you wonder what would happen if we all gave
> thanks for everything we have, instead of
> worrying about what we don't have.
>
> Appreciate every single thing you have,
> especially your friends!
>
> Pass this on to friends and acquaintances and
> help them refresh their perspective and appreciation.
>
> "Life is too short and friends are too few!!"
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Old 03-16-2007, 01:46 PM   #5
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Re: The Three Little Pigs

IMO I like that one alot
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Old 03-16-2007, 01:48 PM   #6
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Re: The Three Little Pigs

Have you ever wondered where the Phrase "You Gotta Be ****ting Me" came
> from?
>
> Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our
> Country way back when, George Washington was crossing the Delaware River
> with his troops.
>
> There were 33 [remember this number] in Washington's boat. It was
> extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them
> about.
>
> Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters [remember this name] and
> stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him to
> keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
>
> Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the
> lantern back and forth, back and forth.
>
> Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his
> lantern into the Delaware . Washington and his troops
> searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no
> avail. All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their
> favorites.
>
> Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet
> and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that they
> must go on.
>
> Another hour later, one of his men said, "General, I see lights ahead."
>
> They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house. What they
> didn't know, was that this was a house of ill repute
> hidden in the forest to serve all who came.
>
> General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him. The
> door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman. A
> huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.
>
> Washington was the first to speak, "Madam, I am General George
> Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and
> desperately need warmth and comfort."
>
> Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad
> smile on her face, said, "Well, General, you have come to the right
> place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you
> have?"
>
> Washington replied, "Well, madam, there are 32 of us without Peters."
>
> And the Madam said, "You gotta be ****tin' me!"
>
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Old 03-16-2007, 03:05 PM   #7
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Re: The Three Little Pigs

you cant just post another joke in the same thread as one that bombed and expect it to make up for it.
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Old 03-16-2007, 03:06 PM   #8
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Re: The Three Little Pigs

If I was Muslim I'd blow myself up in protest of this thread.

Praise Allah.
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