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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #1
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Today's Psychosis

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #2
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Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #3
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Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #4
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #5
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A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #6
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #7
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:31 AM   #8
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes he also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:32 AM   #9
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These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:32 AM   #10
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there was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:56 AM   #11
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try this



While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw a number "6" in the air with your right hand.












What direction is your foot going now?
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Old 10-27-2003, 07:57 AM   #12
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postw hore funny tho
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Old 10-27-2003, 08:00 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Junior2561
postw hore funny tho
Jealous bastard



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Old 10-27-2003, 08:29 AM   #14
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Man where do you get these!? They are great!
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Old 10-27-2003, 08:53 PM   #15
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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

He stayed awake at night wondering if there really was a Dog.

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