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Old 05-08-2007, 10:43 PM   #1
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The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

So, as some of you might know, I work at a parts house in Alabama. We have rednecks, drunk rednecks, potheads, illegal mexicans that can't speak english, legal mexicans that can't speak english, natives that only think they can speak english, several "people" of limited, almost slug like intelligence, and any combination of some or all of the above daily.

Nearly EVERY day I will be able to update this thread with some new nugget of REAL stupidity that has been uttered from the mouths of our esteemed customers.

Today's update:

A customer came in today needing a V-belt for a "95 or 96 Infinity Vision 3.5 liter". The customer explained that he had just bought the car recently so he was unsure as to what year it was. Off the top of my head, I couldn't think of an Infinity named Vision OR a car made by Infinity (at least at that time) that came with a 3.5L, but I dutifully perused the computer car look up to see if this did exist. It did not. He went out to make sure he knew what size the motor was. He came back in and said he was sure it was a 3.5L. I then had to wearily step outside to see just what the hell kind of car he had. Turns out it was a Eagle Vision TSi. I had even asked if he was sure it was an Infinity and he said several times that it was indeed. So I go to the manufacturer Eagle and sure enough, there is a 3.5 Vision. *sigh*. So I got the dumbass his belt and on the way out, after being told it was an Eagle and not an Infinity, he asked if we had any Infinity key chains. I need to start picking up the junk cars I see on the side of roads and selling them as Infinity's I guess.

Daily updates to come.
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Old 05-08-2007, 11:01 PM   #2
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Next day:

Well today we get the semi rare but certainly not unheard double stupidity day:

Remember, none of these are made up.

Early today:

A man comes in to have his alternator tested that he bought from us because he says his car wont start and has symptoms of a problem in the charging system. So one of our other managers goes out and uses our portable tester to test the alternator and battery. The battery comes out as "bad" (it's about 6 years old) and this is an idiot proof test. He then gets a new battery so we can do the alternator test since we can't do that test without the car running and it of course would not start because of a dead battery. He then tests the alternator and it shows up at 14.5 Volts which is "perfect" output, amperage is good, and the diode pattern is good, this equals good alternator.

The customer then gets the bright idea of seeing what it will do when he turns the headlights on, the radio on, and then the A/C. Naturally, for a moment, the alternator dips down to about 13.5 Volts, but then regulates right back up to about 14.4 Volts. The other manager says that this is normal behavior since you are putting such a great load on the charging system and that is good that the alternator went right back up to optimal voltage. The customer then says "I owned a shop for 20 years and it's not supposed to do that. I never seen that before, they always hold steady, they aren't supposed to dip down like that at all...blah blah blah". So the manager says well you can take this one off, and we can replace it for you if it comes out bad on our tester inside. He said he would do this since this alternator was a "piece of ****". The company has a policy that if a part that is testable comes out good, we are not allowed to replace it for free. So we will get an update on this one tomorrow when it inevitably comes out good since the portable tester works the same way the in house tester does.

Number 2:

One of our customers who is more astute on economics apparantly came up with an interesting way of saving money today. He asked me if there was any savings to buy a gallon of oil as opposed to buying 4 quarts of oil. I said yes there is a bit of a savings. Right at 14 cents for the brand he was looking at. I then made a commment about how you do save a bit but not as much as one would think unfortunately. He then said in as near a quote as I can remember: "true but I will still save more because I will only be paying taxes on one thing instead of 4 things". I was dumbfounded by the speed in which he answered and the simple, almost childlike, faith he had in his announcement. I could say nothing for my complete awe. He then. confidantly, purchased the gallon.

More to come.
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:13 AM   #3
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

This thread reminds me why I'm so happy to have left my only retail job after a month.
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:30 AM   #4
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

We're gonna put you up for sainthood I could not deal with people like that
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Old 05-09-2007, 02:55 PM   #5
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

that oil one was too good
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:29 PM   #6
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Well I got to do my favorite thing at work today: deliver to shops in a company truck. I love doing that so I don't know if we had any material for a daily update or not.

So today we will pull one out of "The Archives" of my favorites that I have heard since working there:

About a 17 year old Honda driver came in and was looking at K&N air filters for his car. He already had the look of a ricer and so did his car so I wasn't too hopeful to begin with. I asked him if he needed any help getting the right one. He said he had already gotten the part number off the internet. At this I got my hopes up until he asked: "Now is this filter paintable because I'm doing a lot of engine dress up?"....
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:30 PM   #7
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

I'd have lost my job and told him what a ****ing idiot he is.
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:32 PM   #8
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Oh and no sign of alternator man today. He either figured out that it was indeed his bad battery that would not allow the car to start or he is just waiting patiently for the "bad" alternator to run down the new battery.
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:33 PM   #9
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

People are dumb. I have very little faith in society as a whole.
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:57 PM   #10
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Have you ever had someone come in an orange 2005 Dodge Neon SRT-4 and refuse to take the part for it cause it was listed under "Neon SRT-4" and not just "SRT-4."


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Old 05-09-2007, 11:52 PM   #11
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Ahhhh so you go through the same **** I go through every damn day. I work for Advance in BR, LA and can totally relate with everything you have said.

Funniest things Ive come across...

1. Guy came in and was tellin me all of the **** he had done to his mustang. The car was sounding pretty nice until he started tellin me about how this thing isnt street legal and has around 700hp. I kinda rolled my eyes and thought to myself, "oh boy one of these guys" and then he proceeds to tell me that he had a local shop in town supercharge his transmission! Once he said that I told the guy I had to go and process some daily reports lol

2. Had a guy in his early to mid 20's come in and tell me he wanted shocks and struts for his 2000 civic si. He made sure I knew it had vtec. I told him ok. (Now I have a civic myself and sell parts on the side for mostly imports so I know my way around a civic). So anyway back to the idiot. As Im looking up the shocks and struts I tell him whats available and he tells me, "none of those will work" I asked him why and he said...... Drumroll please...... "Because I need the shocks and struts for a vtec civic not a regular one". I started laughing when he said that and he got pissed and asked what was so funny. I explained to him that vtec had nothing at all to do with the suspension and he told me I had no idea what I was talkin about. I told him to go down the road to the next place and maybe he can find some vtec shocks and struts there

3. Had a man come in the other day with his wife to buy a battery. Sold him the correct battery for the vehicle and then asked if he would like me to install it for them. He replied to me, "its just a battery, I think Im perfectly capable of doing it". Hell, I was thrilled I didnt have to install it and told the couple thanks and have a great day. About 10 minutes later the guy comes in all irate and yells that our store sold him a piece of **** battery. I then told him to please calm down and I would go out and check the battery for him. So I went out and looked under the hood and what do you know! The idiot not only had cables caked in corrosion but also had the cables reversed! I made sure to let him know what the problem was right in front of his wife just so he'd look like a jackass. Oh yeah she was pretty damn hot too

If I think of any more Ill be sure to add some. Yours were pretty damn funny though.
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Old 05-09-2007, 11:55 PM   #12
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

lol! Those are some pretty good ones. What store number is yours? This one is 5929.
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Old 05-09-2007, 11:59 PM   #13
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Quote:
Originally Posted by FattyMcFaterson View Post
Have you ever had someone come in an orange 2005 Dodge Neon SRT-4 and refuse to take the part for it cause it was listed under "Neon SRT-4" and not just "SRT-4."


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Yes, and his name was Michael Ferguson AKA ******bag/***/brother butt secks giver.
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Old 05-10-2007, 12:20 AM   #14
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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lol! Those are some pretty good ones. What store number is yours? This one is 5929.
4982
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Old 05-10-2007, 12:30 AM   #15
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

i did something stupid but admitted to it.

my 1g has a CEL so i went and got the cheapest OBDII scanner.

a 1g is OBDI. i didnt even think about it. came home, looked at the plug in the box, looked at the plug on the car, shook my head in shame.
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Old 05-11-2007, 05:14 PM   #16
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

This thread=Sticky. Can I get a second?



(Oh, and a big hand to the mods for cleaning up the BS that was in this thread so that it wasn't a totat loss )
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Old 05-11-2007, 05:25 PM   #17
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

HAHAA good one Jacoby! u never told me about that!!! " why were you on elm street at 12 at night? huh? i followed you!"<<<< michael ferguson aka ****** bag brother butt secks and all that junk!
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Old 05-11-2007, 05:30 PM   #18
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

/\ I'm lost.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:10 PM   #19
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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Originally Posted by bullitt482 View Post
This thread=Sticky. Can I get a second?



(Oh, and a big hand to the mods for cleaning up the BS that was in this thread so that it wasn't a totat loss )
lol, I started a new thread.

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HAHAA good one Jacoby! u never told me about that!!! " why were you on elm street at 12 at night? huh? i followed you!"<<<< michael ferguson aka ****** bag brother butt secks and all that junk!
Yeah the Faguson is a local neon owner that happens to be an srt4. He is a ******bag and gives butt secks to his brother. (inside jokes just to clear some things up)
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:25 PM   #20
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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lol, I started a new thread.



Yeah the Faguson is a local neon owner that happens to be an srt4. He is a ******bag and gives butt secks to his brother. (inside jokes just to clear some things up)
Inside joke... hehe its a pun that wasn't intended.
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:05 PM   #21
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Today's update:

As we all must know, the Chevrolet 350 motor has remained TOTALY unchanged since it's creation in the `60's . So today, we had a customer come in and ask for a complete gasket set for "a 350". Apparantly making the huge assumption that I would happen to know his truck was a `75 and therefore carbeurated. It just so happened I knew what year it was becuase I had overheard him getting parts earlier today. So I asked what year it was just to be sure and he said: "Aww They're all the same." I hear this all time when it comes to parts for anything with a 350 motor, wether it's u joints, engine parts or dash covers "aww it's all the same". So, I decided that I would give him a gasket set for a `01 Trans Am since he never bothered to tell me what year it was, carb or fi, car or truck or anything. We will see how early he returns it tomorrow lol!
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Old 05-12-2007, 12:06 AM   #22
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

^whahahahahaha thats freakin hillarious
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Old 05-12-2007, 11:44 AM   #23
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

'01 Trans Am has a 346, not a 350.
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Old 05-12-2007, 02:17 PM   #24
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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'01 Trans Am has a 346, not a 350.
No, no a 01 Trans Am has a LS1, not a 346. 346 cc is just its displacement.
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Old 05-12-2007, 03:58 PM   #25
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Serious hair splitting warning...
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Old 05-12-2007, 05:48 PM   #26
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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Old 05-12-2007, 05:49 PM   #27
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

:mrt:
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Old 05-12-2007, 05:50 PM   #28
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

:cloud:
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Old 05-12-2007, 05:56 PM   #29
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

Then let me rephrase that to 5.7
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Old 05-12-2007, 05:58 PM   #30
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

5.698 or something.
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Old 05-12-2007, 06:03 PM   #31
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

5.665 to be exact
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Old 05-13-2007, 02:46 PM   #32
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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'01 Trans Am has a 346, not a 350.
You beat me to it
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Old 05-13-2007, 02:47 PM   #33
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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No, no a 01 Trans Am has a LS1, not a 346. 346 cc is just its displacement.
It's cubic inches(ci), not cubic centimeters(cc).



























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Old 05-13-2007, 05:34 PM   #34
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

that form is the best forum. I worked at Autozone in New Orleans for 2 months, thats as long as I could stand it. We had the crackheads from the 9th Ward, I had cust, come in for parts for their Pont. Bonivilla. (thay said it just like it sounds.

The best was I cust. come in She told me her Husband sent her there for a new seven ten cap. I've worked in the automotive field my whole life & never heard of that. She said that it's on the engine in the front. Feeling really stupid I asked her to show me on her car. We went outside & she pointed to the oil fill cap... OIL upside down is 710 scary world we live in
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Old 05-13-2007, 06:09 PM   #35
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Re: The *New and Improved* Stupid Customer Daily Update

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that form is the best forum. I worked at Autozone in New Orleans for 2 months, thats as long as I could stand it. We had the crackheads from the 9th Ward, I had cust, come in for parts for their Pont. Bonivilla. (thay said it just like it sounds.

The best was I cust. come in She told me her Husband sent her there for a new seven ten cap. I've worked in the automotive field my whole life & never heard of that. She said that it's on the engine in the front. Feeling really stupid I asked her to show me on her car. We went outside & she pointed to the oil fill cap... OIL upside down is 710 scary world we live in
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