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Old 05-20-2007, 08:26 PM   #1
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here's an interesting situation

so the ex and I have been having sex for the past 2 months that we've been broken up, while she's had a bf. She miscarried my kid about 10 days ago (news to me that she was even pregnant). Well, tonight she got really pissed cause she got in an accident Friday night by swerving to miss a deer and totalled her truck. Well.. basically she thought I was being too self centered. Anyway, she asked me to marry her last week, and I told her I wouldn't even talk about it until she was single. (I had asked her about marriage while we were dating, and I was serious). Well, she refused to get single, even though she doesn't love this guy, so I told her tonight that since she said she would never talk to me again that I was going to tell her bf about all the **** she's been doing, because that's fair to him. She comes back with "no you won't, or I'll kill myself"... "no you won't"... "watch me". So, I'm thinking my options here are either keep it to myself... or tell him and tell her parents she's suicidal so she can be kept from killing herself. Anyone with any other options?
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:27 PM   #2
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Just never talk to her again and go on about your life.
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:29 PM   #3
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Re: here's an interesting situation

well heres one thing...

why were u sleeping with her while she had a bf?

secondly, it does not seem like either of you are on a maturity for marriage, so right now, it doesn't seem like she is thinking right. your best bet is to stay out of it and let her deal with her own problems with her boyfriend.

IF you really truly believe that she is suicidal, then there are people that you can contact confidentially. for example, you can call your local PD and report 3rd person that she is having suicidal thoughts and an EMT can go out and evaluate or even take her to the hospital for evaluation.

otherwise, your best bet is to limit your time with her
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:37 PM   #4
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Re: here's an interesting situation

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well heres one thing...

why were u sleeping with her while she had a bf?

secondly, it does not seem like either of you are on a maturity for marriage, so right now, it doesn't seem like she is thinking right. your best bet is to stay out of it and let her deal with her own problems with her boyfriend.

IF you really truly believe that she is suicidal, then there are people that you can contact confidentially. for example, you can call your local PD and report 3rd person that she is having suicidal thoughts and an EMT can go out and evaluate or even take her to the hospital for evaluation.

otherwise, your best bet is to limit your time with her
well for one, he's one of the reasons we broke up. She had a crush on him before we started dating like a year before he expressed interest in her. Long story short... they have a lot of classes together, and she let him say a lot of **** to her. And because I was so busy with lab and ****, I couldn't do much, so she thought I was losing interest. So I feel like this guy kinda "stole" her away. That's why it doesn't bother me to still sleep with her. That and because I do still love her.. well not so much after tonight, but it's hard. Also, the huge reason I would tell him is for HIS sake. He deserves to know she's a cheater. He asked her to marry him after 12 days of dating... wtf. She told him no, but she asked me to get a ring on her finger last weekend. She really has been frustrating me. Also, I would probably just call her parents and let them know... they can take care of it.
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:39 PM   #5
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Rationalize it all you want, its guys like you that I can not stand. There is never a good reason for cheating.

My advice is to totally remove yourself from this situation. She is crazy and will only bring you down.
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:45 PM   #6
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Maybe she still has feelings for you too, the feelings that were there in the first place before ****tard came along. Maybe she doesn't think she's cheating since she loves you and you "love" her. Maybe she's realizing her mistake and what not, I think it's none of your business however, you shouldn't tell the guy unless you see her with another man other than yourself. In a wierd way I think she thinks that what shes doing with you behind her boyfriends back is not technically cheating.. idk how to explain it but w/e.

Sounds like kid **** to me. "I'll kill myself" is the last desperate attempt to trying to get you back. If you want this chick to get off you call her bluff imo..

On a serious note, read first paragraph only.

-1000000 for cheating though.
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:55 PM   #7
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Re: here's an interesting situation

uhhh, first of all, she's the one that cheated, not me. The first month or so, I didn't even know she had a bf. After that, I was trying to get her back
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:56 PM   #8
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Re: here's an interesting situation

You could just kill her yourself. The boyfriend too. And the dog.
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:57 PM   #9
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Ok so.............. she's banging you and banging him at the same time??? Ok stop and listen to what you are saying. Even tho you have a past with her she left you for him but continues to cheat on him with you?? That cant be good. Plus you dont need to marry someone like that. I personally wont let you. I'll drive up there and smack some sense into you. She sounds nuts to me. You need to leave that alone. Trust me I kno. Ive been there done that. I tried dating an ex again and that **** doesnt work. Move on. You'll be better off.
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:57 PM   #10
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Re: here's an interesting situation

OJ did it.

Technically you're correct, she cheated. But not without your help
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:59 PM   #11
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Re: here's an interesting situation

p.s. like I tell my present bf......... he can always move on and so can I If we truly didnt want to be in our realtionship........ theres always more fish in the sea. But I love him... so until he screws up again he's the only fish for me.
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:01 PM   #12
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Re: here's an interesting situation

^That brought a tear to my eye.
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:02 PM   #13
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Yeah Im just a sweet person haha
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:06 PM   #14
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Re: here's an interesting situation

yeah, I've gotten a lot of time to think about stuff recently, which is why she blew up on me today. I told her she has to make a choice. Also, I wouldn't say she's been having sex with him... in two months, she had sex with him once. When her and I were dating, it was a 3-4 times a day kinda thing. I think she's emotionally weak and just needs someone to be there for her every day. We're about a half hour apart right now, but she's coming to the U. of Iowa this fall... so I'm assuming that's when she wanted to start things back up with me. But, as you guys have said, she isn't a girl I could marry any more. I have never cheated, and will never cheat. The way I see it, if you're unhappy enough to cheat, you're not happy enough to be in the relationship.
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:12 PM   #15
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Seems liek she just got into a fling with the other dude, but then again, she can be a skitzo mother ****er who is planning to kill you in your sleep.
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:16 PM   #16
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Re: here's an interesting situation

yeah... I don't know about her. She's gonna call me later tonight, and we'll see what happens. I'll probably tell her she needs to dump him. And that way I won't tell him, and she can save face. Because he doesn't deserve that.
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:17 PM   #17
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Listen I dont why but every bf I get cheats on me.... seriously. I dont nag, I let them do their own thing. I mean I make great $, drive a bad a$$ car, Im not the prettiest thing in the world but my goodness They just cant keep their thing in their pants. I have given seconds chances one to many. The guy im with now cheated on me. I found out april 13th. It was very hard to believe he could do that. But I gave him a 2nd chance. If he screws up this time Im gone. Trust me I know one day I'll meet the right guy if its not him. He's just got to be out there right? But as far as you waiting on her... do your own thing in the mean time. Who knows what you may find. She has the ball rolling the way she wants it. She could have either of you. So you are either going to be sitting and waiting on her to decide... or cut her off for good. She may be waste of time. Once a cheater always a cheater but then again maybe people can change but its very unlikely. I mean I kept my bf after what he did to me. If anyone gets the bad end of the deal its usually me haha.
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:25 PM   #18
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Re: here's an interesting situation

I've been cheated on by the first gf... and I forgave her. Huge mistake. This girl never cheated on me, as far as I know. But if she cheats on her current bf, she might've cheated on me. I just have a hard time when I keep talking to her, but it's my own fault.
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:29 PM   #19
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Im telling you, she may only be cheating on him because she still loves you and misses what you two use to have. What she has with her current b/f may have just been a fling, like you said, he was more available and what not, and now that youre free again and available i guess shes all /hardon for jimmy
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Old 05-20-2007, 10:21 PM   #20
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Re: here's an interesting situation

well... we've been basically yelling at each other for about an hour. She's taking a break to talk to the current bf.... lmao.
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Old 05-20-2007, 10:56 PM   #21
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Re: here's an interesting situation

exactly....once they cheat they always cheat......ive been w/my wife for 15 years because i knew she was the 1 for me.....and i will be with her to my last day on this earth......if you dont (FeeL) or know shes the one....keep lookin....whether you have history or not...if it was meant to be she wouldnt have cheated...this is just my opinion...you can do whatever you want...its your life and you have to live with your choices....good luck with whatever you choose to do
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Old 05-21-2007, 02:27 AM   #22
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Re: here's an interesting situation

run. run far far away. this chick will bring you down. be thankful she miscarriaged and you are done with her.
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:09 AM   #23
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Re: here's an interesting situation

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Originally Posted by ridenmystang View Post
Listen I dont why but every bf I get cheats on me.... seriously. I dont nag, I let them do their own thing. I mean I make great $, drive a bad a$$ car, Im not the prettiest thing in the world but my goodness They just cant keep their thing in their pants. I have given seconds chances one to many. The guy im with now cheated on me. I found out april 13th. It was very hard to believe he could do that. But I gave him a 2nd chance. If he screws up this time Im gone. Trust me I know one day I'll meet the right guy if its not him. He's just got to be out there right? But as far as you waiting on her... do your own thing in the mean time. Who knows what you may find. She has the ball rolling the way she wants it. She could have either of you. So you are either going to be sitting and waiting on her to decide... or cut her off for good. She may be waste of time. Once a cheater always a cheater but then again maybe people can change but its very unlikely. I mean I kept my bf after what he did to me. If anyone gets the bad end of the deal its usually me haha.
The reason guys cheat is this: Girls like the guys that cheat. Just about all girls go for the same type of guy. The one with the pretty face and the big muscles and the brain capacity of a small child. So while you're dating him, he's got twenty other girls ready to try to get in his pants and steal him from you because that's the way girls operate.

Since he has the brain capacity of a small child, and it's mostly in his dick, one night he gets drunk, said girls want to have sex with him, and he gives in. The cycle is then complete. The girl that got cheated on leaves him and it starts all over again.

As for Beaner, you may have never cheated, as in slept with someone else while you were dating someone, but you have cheated. Sleeping with someone who is dating someone else is just as bad. You ****ed up, she ****ed up, the dog ****ed up, so just be glad it's over and move on.
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:11 AM   #24
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Re: here's an interesting situation

^This dude gets +200,000,000,000 points in my book.
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:49 AM   #25
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Re: here's an interesting situation

These kinds of situations get much easier to deal with once you get out of high school.
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Old 05-21-2007, 08:00 AM   #26
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Someone who is cheating on their BF while dating you and wanting to get married doesnt sound like much of a winner. You should try to get the best person you can to spend the rest of your life with, not the first person who you can find.

I would dump her and find someone better.
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Old 05-21-2007, 09:39 AM   #27
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Re: here's an interesting situation

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The reason guys cheat is this: Girls like the guys that cheat. Just about all girls go for the same type of guy. The one with the pretty face and the big muscles and the brain capacity of a small child. So while you're dating him, he's got twenty other girls ready to try to get in his pants and steal him from you because that's the way girls operate.

Since he has the brain capacity of a small child, and it's mostly in his ****, one night he gets drunk, said girls want to have sex with him, and he gives in. The cycle is then complete. The girl that got cheated on leaves him and it starts all over again.
Whoa wait a min..... Im very picky about the guys I date. First of all They have to have good morals (well thats the front they put on) But They arent all that good looking. Most of the time they are just sweet talkers. & No I dont look to date guys that cheat I just have bad luck. I dont know why either. Im not worried about it though. I'll just be 80 yrs old and single haha. I would like to eventually settle down. My bf and I are actually living together now. Thats something I said I would never do But did. Plus my bf's are not dumb.... they can hide cheating very well lol. Most have been private schooled or home schooled (which are the worst kinds in my opinion) except the present guy. They all have worked very hard (just as I have) to have a decent life. Next guy I date is going to be something like erkel haha.
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Old 05-21-2007, 09:41 AM   #28
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Re: here's an interesting situation

I think there's a misconception going around.
1) I have no evidence of any foul play on her part during our relationship.
2) I didn't know she even had a bf until like 3 weeks ago, and since then, "stuff" has only happened once, and she lead me to believe she was done with the other guy because of her being pregnant/miscarrying my kid.
3) I'm 22... not in HS.
4) I never bought a ring, during the relationship I thought about asking her to marry me, and after we were broken up, (after the miscarrage), she asked me to marry her.
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Old 05-21-2007, 09:43 AM   #29
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Well maybe just tell her how you feel, that you love her but wont be waiting forever.
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Old 05-21-2007, 10:16 AM   #30
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Re: here's an interesting situation

uh man I dont even know why your putting any kind of thought into this. Dont you see how crazy this current situation is. How do you know for sure she was preg with your baby? how do you even know she was preg at all. how do you know she isnt ****ing u and her current bf and hell maybe even another guy out there. Come on man dont be ****in stupid. Every sign possible that you may be looking for is all there and it all points to GTFO ASAP. Girls are pyscho and your ex there is perfect proof, she wants you to marry her but yet doesnt want to dump her other bf who does that. I mean hell if your able to have a GF on the side to then ****in A sounds like the perfect match. But come on man reality is that aint gonna happen.

Stop being so hopeful and such and get real with yourself on this.

Exs are Exs for a reason. Whether they strayed away from u for another (which is always bound to happen again) or just flat out cheating like shes currently doing.

You have to much damn brains to even be thinking about this man.

Get with the program man seriously. Run, Run as far away as you can, Time heals all esp love. This isnt anything you need.


But thats my advice, take or leave it but dont be a dumbass about it
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Old 05-21-2007, 03:24 PM   #31
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Re: here's an interesting situation

3 some.

Everyone wins.
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Old 05-21-2007, 03:39 PM   #32
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Re: here's an interesting situation

minus me... prefer not to have guy dick near me
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Old 05-21-2007, 03:58 PM   #33
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Re: here's an interesting situation

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minus me... prefer not to have guy dick near me
Versus a non-guy dick?
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Old 05-21-2007, 04:02 PM   #34
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Re: here's an interesting situation

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenpony02 View Post
Versus a non-guy dick?
well... I've never seen non-guy dick... might be worth seeing at least once?
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Old 05-21-2007, 04:09 PM   #35
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Re: here's an interesting situation

1.) She cheated on her current with you. - Bad
2.) Y'all broke up - Bad
3.) Is trying to force you into a relationship with the lame *** "I'll kill myself" argument. - Bad


Solution:
Run away. Y'all were not going to work out. She will again get curious and stray...or at least have her attention span stray. If she claims she will kill herself, oh well, that is not your problem. Hand her the pills/gun/cianide/etc...and say "Have at it sparky". If she does it...problem solved, move on. If she doesn't...problem solved, you know she is all show and no go....move on.

Basically, y'all won't work. It is just like Cajun and his woman. She keeps getting distracted...they fight...they make up...rinse...repeat. It will not end.

Cliff Notes: Call her bluff and move on.
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