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Old 06-12-2007, 10:24 AM   #1
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How would you feel

So my boyfriend wants to go with his friend and his friends family to the keys for a whole week. His family is taking 2 other families with them with 2 girls our age. To begin with He invited me to go but then he said they didnt have room for us and the house they are staying in is a mansion. They leave next week and he has put in to go becuase we got into an argument last night. He has cheated on me before and I dont like the idea of him staying with 2 girls. I know how him and his friend are togther. Should I be upset? Caue I am. It would be different if no girls were going. But know he says we need time apart. What am I suppose to say?
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Old 06-12-2007, 10:44 AM   #2
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Re: How would you feel

i'd be upset, you can't trust a cheater, once they do it once, more than likely it'll happen again
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:05 AM   #3
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Re: How would you feel

you have every right to be pissed. I'd say move on before you get hurt any further.
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:08 AM   #4
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Re: How would you feel

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I'd say move on before you get hurt any further.
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:08 AM   #5
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Re: How would you feel

If you cant trust him you should not be with him.
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:14 AM   #6
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Re: How would you feel

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If you cant trust him you should not be with him.
agreed. if you stay..that's a long road to nowhere, I know from personal experience.
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:17 AM   #7
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Re: How would you feel

I can give advice but not take it. Its hard. We live together now and Im so use to having him around all the time. I forgave him for cheating on me back in april and for awhile there I was really hard on him. Ive just tried to block it out of my mind and it seems to make things better between us. He wouldnt want me to go away for a week with random guys. I dont know. Is there anything I can say to him jto make him understand the way I feel?
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:28 AM   #8
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Re: How would you feel

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I can give advice but not take it. Its hard. We live together now and Im so use to having him around all the time. I forgave him for cheating on me back in april and for awhile there I was really hard on him. Ive just tried to block it out of my mind and it seems to make things better between us. He wouldnt want me to go away for a week with random guys. I dont know. Is there anything I can say to him jto make him understand the way I feel?
I understand the position your in, honestly I do. But do you honestly think he'd be going on this trip and not inviting you, if he cared? Your partner should never make you feel this way, or make you ask questions like these.
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:30 AM   #9
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Re: How would you feel

tell him that you need to tell him how you really feel... tell him the scenario that if you did the same... he would feel the same. your not comfortable and you need to make him aware of that
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:55 AM   #10
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Re: How would you feel

if he really cared enough about you he would know how you felt without you having to tell him.

once a cheater always a cheater. he will do it again because he knows he can get away with it.

you might not like the advice but suck it up and realize the situation is bleak. like wtf, when i have gf's i make it a point to try to do everything with them unless they dont want to go, and if i was invited and she wasnt, i wouldnt go without her.
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:56 AM   #11
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Re: How would you feel

you will just have to trust him and if he screws up then dump him.
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Old 06-12-2007, 12:03 PM   #12
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Re: How would you feel

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if he really cared enough about you he would know how you felt without you having to tell him.

once a cheater always a cheater. he will do it again because he knows he can get away with it.
you might not like the advice but suck it up and realize the situation is bleak. like wtf, when i have gf's i make it a point to try to do everything with them unless they dont want to go, and if i was invited and she wasnt, i wouldnt go without her.

he is right on here. You have forgiven him for cheating in the past, and all that does is lets him know he can do it again, and you'll get over it just like you did the last time. I was married for 7 yrs to someone like that.
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Old 06-12-2007, 01:31 PM   #13
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Re: How would you feel

Unfortunately, if you are this uncomfortable, as you should be, and are haivng a problem with trusting him....you already know the answer...
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Old 06-12-2007, 01:47 PM   #14
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Re: How would you feel

Maybe you could just cheat on him and equal it out.
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Old 06-12-2007, 01:56 PM   #15
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Re: How would you feel

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Maybe you could just cheat on him and equal it out.
werd

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Old 06-12-2007, 01:58 PM   #16
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Re: How would you feel

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Originally Posted by Thomas91169 View Post
werd

my available hours are monday-friday 5pm-10pm, and 8am-10pm on the weekends.
I can make time for whenever. And I live alot closer.
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Old 06-12-2007, 03:38 PM   #17
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Re: How would you feel

Im going to talk with him tonight about it. I really dont want him to go but if he does O well a week with my girls is going to be awesome and while the cats away the mice will play. I'd realy rather him not go tho.
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Old 06-12-2007, 03:45 PM   #18
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Re: How would you feel

If he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat. Trying to deny him the opportunities isn't going to work forever.
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Old 06-12-2007, 03:47 PM   #19
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Re: How would you feel

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Im going to talk with him tonight about it. I really dont want him to go but if he does O well a week with my girls is going to be awesome and while the cats away the mice will play. I'd realy rather him not go tho.
You should come hang with the ME guys

I, myself, don't understand why anyone would stay with someone that cheated on them. Especially considering you aren't even married yet. I wouldn't and I would never cheat on someone either. It's a pretty shallow thing to do.
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Old 06-12-2007, 04:14 PM   #20
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Re: How would you feel

He did invite you to come which is a sign that he wants you to trust him and is aware of hurting you once before.

IMO If someone cheats on me once...it's over and that person will never ever be trusted again. I've been there in two different relationships like that. If it were me, I would worry like hell while that person was away but what can ya do? It would be out of your hands once hes away. If the person is going to cheat they will. BTW the excuse "I was drunk and wasn't thinking" Won't hold water with me either. If you are worried that much, go with them on the trip. You'll feel better and probably have a great time.

Since you had decided to give him a second chance. How long has he been loyal to you and been good? That is something to think about. I always use to tell my self that "3 strikes and your out". That also would depend on how bad that strike would be.

Good luck!
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Old 06-12-2007, 04:29 PM   #21
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Re: How would you feel

I didn't read through these two pages so I might be repeating myself when I say:

1. You don't trust him, why are you with him? Relationships are based on that and canNOT, I repeat, CANNOT survive without it. If you don't trust him now then you never forgave him. Hate to be that honest but it's true.

2. I agree, move on before you get hurt further. You should not have to live your life wondering if your bf is cheating. You should be thinking something like, "Dam I miss him" or "I can't wait to see him again," not, "I swear if that mother ****er cheats on me I'll tie a rubber band around his nuts and..." you get the point.

3. If you think that you couldn't "live" without his presence, then that is another sign of an unhealthy relationship. That means that you want him around the apt/house/etc. just to have someone there. Which means that you could do the same thing with someone else, making your present bf just someone to have around because you would get lonely. You have to be happy by yourself before you can be completely happy with someone

I've been through the cheating and been the cheater, trust me, get out now. I know it's going to be hard, but it's just like losing a friend. You'll get over it and move on with your life. Besides, I'm sure once you drop his *** and throw his **** in the street, there are plenty of guys that would gladly bide your time. Hell, look at how many guys on this site would like to take you out. Sure some of them are pervs(you know it's true), but look at it this way, this site has a lot to do with your life as in your car. 99 percent of the people on this site have an interest in mustangs as do you. Atleast you are already starting to look in the right place
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:02 PM   #22
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Re: How would you feel

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Originally Posted by ridenmystang View Post
O well a week with my girls is going to be awesome and while the cats away the mice will play.
That makes total sense. (act like you're going to) cheat on him.

Way to go.

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Old 06-12-2007, 05:03 PM   #23
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Re: How would you feel

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I didn't read through these two pages so I might be repeating myself when I say:

1. You don't trust him, why are you with him? Relationships are based on that and canNOT, I repeat, CANNOT survive without it. If you don't trust him now then you never forgave him. Hate to be that honest but it's true.

2. I agree, move on before you get hurt further. You should not have to live your life wondering if your bf is cheating. You should be thinking something like, "Dam I miss him" or "I can't wait to see him again," not, "I swear if that mother ****er cheats on me I'll tie a rubber band around his nuts and..." you get the point.

3. If you think that you couldn't "live" without his presence, then that is another sign of an unhealthy relationship. That means that you want him around the apt/house/etc. just to have someone there. Which means that you could do the same thing with someone else, making your present bf just someone to have around because you would get lonely. You have to be happy by yourself before you can be completely happy with someone

I've been through the cheating and been the cheater, trust me, get out now. I know it's going to be hard, but it's just like losing a friend. You'll get over it and move on with your life. Besides, I'm sure once you drop his *** and throw his **** in the street, there are plenty of guys that would gladly bide your time. Hell, look at how many guys on this site would like to take you out. Sure some of them are pervs(you know it's true), but look at it this way, this site has a lot to do with your life as in your car. 99 percent of the people on this site have an interest in mustangs as do you. Atleast you are already starting to look in the right place
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:48 PM   #24
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Re: How would you feel

I meant to say repeating what someone else said, not myself.
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:50 PM   #25
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Re: How would you feel

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BTW the excuse "I was drunk and wasn't thinking" Won't hold water with me either.
Exactly, a drunk man's/woman's actions are a sober man's/woman's thoughts really and truely(got this t-shirt to).
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Old 06-12-2007, 07:40 PM   #26
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Re: How would you feel

I totally understand where youre coming from..My boyfriend was supposed to be going to daytona next week with his family, and his cousin which is the same age..and hes single and always looking for a girl. And of course he wants Chris (my bf) there with him to help him find one, he told me this himself..now i do trust my boyfriend, but i just dont think its fair for him to even do that and put himself in that situation..b/c well **** happens when your at the beach drinking and partying. Not saying he would do anything, but it would be pretty damn tempting for anyone. And he cheated on me also in the beginning of our relationship, and like you i gave him another chance..that was about 2 and half years ago. We're getting close to our three year anniversary and still going strong. So as some of these people are saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" it's not always true. I completely understand your situation, and understand you not wanting him to go..chris isnt going, it took a lot of talking and making him understand my side of things, but he does. I feel kinda bad that he isnt going but, im glad hes not. lol just try and talk to him and ask him how he would feel if it were you doing the same thing. If you both really love eachother everything will be fine rather he goes or not.
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Old 06-12-2007, 07:43 PM   #27
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Re: How would you feel

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...
Edit. It's fixed.
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Old 06-12-2007, 10:01 PM   #28
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Re: How would you feel

hmm intresting. Shady at most but damn dont stop the guy from going out an dhaving a good time cause trust me that right there in its own right will put thoughts in his head.

Thing is trust is gotta be there, obviously he did something that has ruined the trust with you but you took that chance by accepting him back into the relationship knowing full well what has happen.

Thats when that whole trust ordeal has to start over and you are showing full signs of not trusting him.

WHat sthat saying if things were meant to happen will happen no matter what one does to stop it or create it.

Let it be, give him that chance so be it, if he goes and cheats on you hey it was meant to happen and also means you two werent meant to be together,

**** happens, your hawt if **** does happen im sure you'll find another hot dude in like no time seriously
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Old 06-13-2007, 07:16 AM   #29
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Re: How would you feel

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you will just have to trust him and if he screws up then dump him.
This is all you can really do afer you talk to him about it I guess.

If he screws up after you let him know your position, well then you know what to do.

However if he does behave, more of that trust you lost in him is rebuilt and your closer to being back to normal ground.

If your in good with his Mom she will prob side with you and let you know if anything happens. Atleast if she catches anything. Im sure he wont be hanging around his parents all week, considering he is bringing a friend and 2 other girls....
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Old 06-13-2007, 07:30 AM   #30
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Re: How would you feel

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If you cant trust him you should not be with him.
+1, if i was with someone who cheated on me, then they wouldn't be with me anymore, no second chances with that kind of stuff. if you think he is going to cheat again, then maybe hes not the right guy for u.
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Old 06-13-2007, 07:36 AM   #31
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Re: How would you feel

I dunno with relationships, it gets tricky. Sometimes one person is at a point where they are saying I could marry this person. but the other is still "playing the field"

I say two chances, if you need anymore than that you aint worth it. Think about all the stories you hear of couples married for 15 20 years who had problems early on.
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Old 06-13-2007, 10:28 AM   #32
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Re: How would you feel

Once bitten,Twice shy !! Sometimes you can forgive,but can't forget !!!! it's hard to trust anyone if you can't forget what has happened in the pass
Give him a chance he may very well means what he says . You know him the best and no matter what advice you get. Your gonna do what your feeling tell you to do. I just hope your feelings don't cloud your judgement
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Old 06-13-2007, 05:15 PM   #33
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Re: How would you feel

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+1, if i was with someone who cheated on me, then they wouldn't be with me anymore, no second chances with that kind of stuff. if you think he is going to cheat again, then maybe hes not the right guy for u.
Exactly, if the thought is even there, then trust is a HUGE question in your relationship. Kick his *** to the curb.


*I'm surprised there are guys totally agreeing with the,"ditch him and let's go out" theory I proposed. Not me of course, but the other guys on the site.*
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:03 PM   #34
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Re: How would you feel

Im so depressed. I dont know what to do anymore. Everytime I get a bf I make them my whole world and I know I shouldnt. Here lately Im just so emotional about everything. I know guys dont like hearing all of this crap but I just wish sometimes that for once I could date a guy that understands where Im coming from. I feel like a puppy dog always following them around and doing what they want me to do. The thing is I dont mind. I like doing things for people. Ive always been like that. I just want it in return. Someone to show me I mean as much to them as they mean to me. And its the smallest things I love the most. Like Sweet kisses, or telling me im beautiful or just getting me a card. Mybe I sound silly Ive just had a bad day and Im just ready to break down like Dane Cook haha.
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:14 PM   #35
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Re: How would you feel

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Im so depressed. I dont know what to do anymore. Everytime I get a bf I make them my whole world and I know I shouldnt. Here lately Im just so emotional about everything. I know guys dont like hearing all of this crap but I just wish sometimes that for once I could date a guy that understands where Im coming from. I feel like a puppy dog always following them around and doing what they want me to do. The thing is I dont mind. I like doing things for people. Ive always been like that. I just want it in return. Someone to show me I mean as much to them as they mean to me. And its the smallest things I love the most. Like Sweet kisses, or telling me im beautiful or just getting me a card. Mybe I sound silly Ive just had a bad day and Im just ready to break down like Dane Cook haha.
I'm not really sure why, but I just wanted to let you know that you did your best.

Oh, and I talked to Laura from 9th grade, she said she regrets not inviting you to her party.
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