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Old 06-30-2011, 06:17 PM   #71
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Katrina?? Pfftttt... Chuck Norris was demonstrating what would happen IF he ever sneezed
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Old 06-30-2011, 10:37 PM   #72
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Chuck Norris's other car is a Total Gym with wheels.
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Old 06-30-2011, 10:39 PM   #73
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Chuck Norris has only had to pee once in his entire life. Noah and the animals on the ark were the only known survivors.
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Old 06-30-2011, 10:43 PM   #74
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris' heart only beats once a year....
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Old 06-30-2011, 10:45 PM   #75
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Chuck Norris decided to leave Texas and make his home in Georgia. Since his sperm are too potent for reproduction, he laid his penis to rest. The rest of the world knows that restong place as Florida.
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Old 06-30-2011, 10:45 PM   #76
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*resting
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Old 06-30-2011, 10:45 PM   #77
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Quote:
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Chuck Norris' heart only beats once a year....
Lol nice!
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Old 07-01-2011, 06:42 AM   #78
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard.” Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:20 AM   #79
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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Old 07-01-2011, 10:42 AM   #80
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

If chuck norris slaps you you thank him for touching you.
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Old 07-01-2011, 10:50 AM   #81
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

One day God called up three men to see who would take the throne at his right side...these three men were Mr. T, Arnold Schwarzeneggaer(yes I googled the spelling), and Chuck Norris...God calls them up one at a time and asks why they should be at his right side...
Mr T responds "I was in the A-Team I've starred in many TV shows and I pity the fool"
Arnold responds "I've become a legend in the bodybuilding world and starred in many movies"
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks got in the face and says "give me back my chair..."
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Old 07-01-2011, 10:55 AM   #82
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck norris doesn't have a fridge in his house if he wants something cold he just stares at it and it ices up.
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Old 07-01-2011, 01:07 PM   #83
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

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Chuck norris doesn't have a fridge in his house if he wants something cold he just stares at it and it ices up.
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Old 07-01-2011, 04:51 PM   #84
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Chuck Norris farted a couple months ago. He was quoted as saying, "My bad, Japan."
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Old 07-02-2011, 11:25 AM   #85
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is so cold if he drinks boiling water he pisses ice cubes.
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Old 07-02-2011, 12:19 PM   #86
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

chuck norris is so cold that he cant touch the sun for more than 5 seconds because the sun finds it unbearable.
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Old 07-02-2011, 12:57 PM   #87
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True. And like the sun, if you stare at Chuck Norris for too long you'll go blind.
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Old 07-02-2011, 12:57 PM   #88
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True. And like the sun, if you stare at Chuck Norris for too long you'll go blind.
Unless you're a woman. If women stare at him for too long they'll have twins.
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Old 07-02-2011, 12:59 PM   #89
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Chuck Norris got pulled over the other day... The officer was lucky to just get a warning.
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Old 07-02-2011, 01:03 PM   #90
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Chuck Norris got pulled over the other day... The officer was lucky to just get a warning.
Ha! Man I am saving this one for later
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Old 07-02-2011, 05:51 PM   #91
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If you get round house kicked by chuck Norris, be sure to put it on your resume
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Old 07-02-2011, 07:22 PM   #92
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

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Originally Posted by Texastboneking View Post
Chuck Norris got pulled over the other day... The officer was lucky to just get a warning.

Gotta be top 5 of all time ...
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Old 07-02-2011, 08:01 PM   #93
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Chuck Norris cheated on his English test........................ a calculator
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Old 07-02-2011, 08:02 PM   #94
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Chuck Norris won american idol using only sign language
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Old 07-02-2011, 08:04 PM   #95
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Life insurance premiums are based off how far you live from Chuck Norris
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Old 07-02-2011, 08:07 PM   #96
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses to protect the sun from his eyes.
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Old 07-03-2011, 12:28 AM   #97
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken

Gotta be top 5 of all time ...
Thanks
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Old 07-03-2011, 11:28 AM   #98
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris puts gas in his car the gas station pays him.
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Old 07-03-2011, 12:07 PM   #99
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Chuck Norris doesn't was his car. His car washes him.
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Old 07-03-2011, 02:52 PM   #100
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Chuck Norris doesn't breath. He holds air hostage.
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Old 07-03-2011, 02:52 PM   #101
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Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the Earth farther away from the sun.
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Old 07-03-2011, 03:54 PM   #102
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the Earth farther away from the sun.

Repeat.. Chuck Norris NEVER repeats himself
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Old 07-03-2011, 03:55 PM   #103
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Haha my bad
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Old 07-05-2011, 10:53 AM   #104
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean he doesn't worry about shark repellant because even sharks are afraid of him.
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Old 07-05-2011, 08:51 PM   #105
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Thought these were funny
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