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Old 06-28-2011, 07:50 AM   #1
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The Legend : Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's really pushing the earth down
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Old 06-28-2011, 07:52 AM   #2
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man - that man is now known as Superman
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Old 06-28-2011, 07:52 AM   #3
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was born in 1940. Five years later Hitler committed suicide. This was not a coincidence.
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:23 AM   #4
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:30 AM   #5
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:35 AM   #6
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Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:46 AM   #7
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms, because nothing can protect you from chuck Norris
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:48 AM   #8
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Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris, walked on Jesus.
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:50 AM   #9
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Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer... To bad he never cries.
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:52 AM   #10
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Quote:
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Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris, walked on Jesus.
+1 lol
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:53 AM   #11
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a Cobra. After three long antagonizing days, the Cobra died.
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When you're going to war, you better have three things if you expect to win: 1. Willpower (One's need to put the petal to the metal); 2. Staying Power (300+ BHP); and 3. Firepower (The wheels of your mustang exploding on the highway like a slug from a .45).
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Old 06-28-2011, 09:55 AM   #12
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Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin' bout.
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Old 06-28-2011, 10:02 AM   #13
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris drives an 03/04 Cobra
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Old 06-28-2011, 10:14 AM   #14
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpectorV View Post
Chuck Norris drives an 03/04 Cobra
NICE ONE ...........
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Old 06-28-2011, 10:15 AM   #15
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

300 WHO ?
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:47 AM   #16
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

The grass is always greener on the other side....unless Chuck Norris has been there...then it's covered in blood and tears...
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:07 PM   #17
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Chuck Norris can fully charge a dead cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
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When you're going to war, you better have three things if you expect to win: 1. Willpower (One's need to put the petal to the metal); 2. Staying Power (300+ BHP); and 3. Firepower (The wheels of your mustang exploding on the highway like a slug from a .45).
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:09 PM   #18
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris had a street named after him once - but they had to quickly change the name because NOBODY crosses Chuck Norris and lives to tell about it
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:11 PM   #19
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:19 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpectorV
Chuck Norris drives an 03/04 Cobra
This is not correct. The 03 & 04 cobras were modeled after Chuck Norris. At the time it was the closest piece of machinery to match Chuck Norris in speed but alas, no one beats Chuck Norris. Not even the Terminators.
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When you're going to war, you better have three things if you expect to win: 1. Willpower (One's need to put the petal to the metal); 2. Staying Power (300+ BHP); and 3. Firepower (The wheels of your mustang exploding on the highway like a slug from a .45).
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:24 PM   #21
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Chuck Norris jump starts a car by running jumper cables from the battery to his nipples.
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Old 06-28-2011, 02:12 PM   #22
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Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
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When you're going to war, you better have three things if you expect to win: 1. Willpower (One's need to put the petal to the metal); 2. Staying Power (300+ BHP); and 3. Firepower (The wheels of your mustang exploding on the highway like a slug from a .45).
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Old 06-28-2011, 02:16 PM   #23
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Some magicians can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land!
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Old 06-28-2011, 02:19 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texastboneking
Some magicians can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land!

When Chuck Norris Goes Swimming He Doesn't Get Wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
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Old 06-28-2011, 02:30 PM   #25
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
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Old 06-28-2011, 03:00 PM   #26
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Old 06-28-2011, 03:01 PM   #27
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid´╗┐ to move ........
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:36 PM   #28
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't read books he stares them down til he gets the information he wants...
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:39 PM   #29
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Omg, these are crazy
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:44 PM   #30
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:44 PM   #31
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing...

Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door...
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:45 PM   #32
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Stole mine....bastard....
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:47 PM   #33
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Chuck Norris knows where Carmen San deago is.
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:52 PM   #34
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When the boogeyman goes to bed at night he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:53 PM   #35
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Re: The Legend : Chuck Norris

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
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