One day Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell where the devil is waiting
"I don't know what to do here, " says the devil.
"You are on my list, but I have no room for you right
now. You definitely have to stay here though, so I'll
tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of
folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let
one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let you decide who leaves."
Clinton thought that sounded like the best deal he was
going to get and agreed, so the devil opened the first
room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of
water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed.
Over and over and over. This was his fate in hell.
"No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good
swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day
The next room the devil led him to was one that had
Newt Gingrich swinging a sledge hammer in a room full
of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time
after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would
be in constant agony if all I did was break rocks all
day long," commented Bill.
So the devil opened a third door. In it, Clinton saw
Jesse Jackson, lying on the floor stark naked, with
his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a
spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinski,
doing what she does best.
Clinton stared in happy disbelief and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this one."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to
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