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Old 02-28-2008, 01:39 PM   #1
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From The International Council of Manlaws

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
Circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning
her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may
be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must
bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his
sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's
fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the
temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday
present for another man. In fact, even remembering
your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that
point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the
birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines
pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting
event, you may ask the score of the game in progress,
but you may never ask who's playing.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink
only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and
it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's
free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril
are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you
didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
of the game and the ability to drink as much as the
other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd
better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a
friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex
pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
While lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are
on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting
In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost
imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman
to go on longer than you are able to have sex with
her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if
necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly
"just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the
fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason
for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is
not acceptable for her to drive yours.

2 6: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown,
pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you
want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know
what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating
or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls.
but do you really know the difference between them? In
an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each
is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with
the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or
are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the
guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your
collar, slapping your wife on the *** and having the
balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:54 PM   #2
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

very nice
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Old 02-28-2008, 11:20 PM   #3
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

**** en eh!!
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:21 PM   #4
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

Awesome. Seen most of them before, but I always love them
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:26 PM   #5
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

So would it be exceptable to let my girlfriend drive my car if i were teaching her to drive a stick?
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Old 03-04-2008, 08:06 AM   #6
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

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Originally Posted by sledgehammer View Post
So would it be exceptable to let my girlfriend drive my car if i were teaching her to drive a stick?
as long as she pays for the new clutch
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Old 03-04-2008, 08:17 AM   #7
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

I once taught a girl to drive in my Camaro. Even let her take her driving test in it.
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Old 03-04-2008, 08:59 AM   #8
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkuzLS1 View Post
I once taught a girl to drive in my Camaro. Even let her take her driving test in it.
It's OK to trash a GM product
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Old 03-04-2008, 11:11 PM   #9
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herbstang View Post
as long as she pays for the new clutch
my clutch has only 3000 miles on it!! should last a couple days after...
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Old 03-05-2008, 09:13 AM   #10
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

Quote:
Originally Posted by sledgehammer View Post
my clutch has only 3000 miles on it!! should last a couple days after...
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Old 03-05-2008, 11:03 AM   #11
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkuzLS1 View Post
I once taught a girl to drive in my Camaro. Even let her take her driving test in it.
I tried to let meteorachick drive my car ..

Manual trans + light on-off style clutch and 2200+ cam = bad combination
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Old 03-05-2008, 11:12 AM   #12
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

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Originally Posted by Herbstang View Post
as long as she pays for the new clutch
And the new engine when she forgets to shift and holds it on redline playing
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Old 03-05-2008, 11:42 AM   #13
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

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And the new engine when she forgets to shift and holds it on redline playing
new engine 3000 miles ago too. maybe i should just wait... or use another vehicle
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Old 03-05-2008, 12:49 PM   #14
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

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new engine 3000 miles ago too. maybe i should just wait... or use another vehicle
Yeah you should go to hertz or something and rent one to tear up if you are that fresh on the rebuild ..lol I want new heads and to stroke mine but I am not quite ready so I gotta keep her out of it for a few months then let her blow it up.
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Old 03-05-2008, 12:57 PM   #15
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Re: From The International Council of Manlaws

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Originally Posted by partanimal911 View Post
Yeah you should go to hertz or something and rent one to tear up if you are that fresh on the rebuild ..lol I want new heads and to stroke mine but I am not quite ready so I gotta keep her out of it for a few months then let her blow it up.

ACtually on second thought... I have a 2 year 50,000 mile warranty... blow it up now and get another engine 3000 miles fresher!!!
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