Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..? - Mustang Evolution

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Old 08-21-2009, 12:30 AM   #1
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

My issue is that my husband of 6 years and I are seperating. We've been rocky for 3 years now but keep trying. He finally got his dream job and is moving over 2000 miles away in august. we have decided i will not go with him but we will stay together in our house until he leaves.

my issue right now is my car. When I was 22 he insisted I need a car far beyond my means ($36,000 car). I tried to get rid of it in 2007 but no one wanted to trade cus it was a lease. i bought out the lease. now that I will be on my own I need to downsize my bills and the car is #1 to go (so sad, i adore my car).. but the dealers i see want me to take like a 6000$ hit on it, which i simply cant do. Today I went to a Ford dealer and tested a 2006 Mustang. My car is 2005 so this isnt super but this car has 50,000 miles less than mine, warranty for another 3 years.. one owner.. and i'll only have to roll abour $1000 into the new loan. I have a past history of loving Mustangs but now my husband is insisting i am being childish, immature, irresponsible and will now put up a fight for me to not get to stay at our house when he leaves.. Yes, it is a car I've fancied in the past.. and I know its not ideal in the snow (I live in NY) but no one wants to give me what I owe and this really seems like a win-win situation. he insists if I go thru with it tomorrow that he will fight me on the house and I throw any chance to get back together in the future out of the window..

I'm stuck.



ADDITIONAL INFO BUT NOT REQUIRED>>The house is in his name and I know its "half mine" since we are married but it has no equity and I cant afford it alone.. It has 3 units and we rent two and essentially live for free in the 3rd which would help me greatly for like a year while I consolidate bills etc.. I've been with him since i was 20 years and 1 month old so being alone is kinda scary and I dont wanna rush into anything big.. And I sure cant afford a lawyer to fight it out..
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Old 08-21-2009, 12:33 AM   #2
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

This would be great if you had a child but Im taking this as no children.You stii have an ace up your sleeve as only being seperated he can be forced to let you stay in the house til a divorce happens and pay for it or sue him for spousal support. Theres always a way. In seperations, he cannot do much about the house like he can in a divorce proceeding so dont worry so much here. You have got to do what you have to with the car unless hes again willing to pay for everything. He doesnt own you nor can he control you even in a seperation so do what you must. I just dont quite understand his reasoning here about the house and getting back together as if he was so concerned about what you do and how, then why is he going to leave you? Something here doesnt quite match up but either way do what you must now to survive. Good luck
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Old 08-21-2009, 01:14 AM   #3
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

The house is his, he will get the rental income, not you. I'm not entirely sure you will be entitled to any part of it.

Why is he trying to prevent you from buying a car? Maybe he is afraid he'll assume half the debt? is that why you want to do it now?

I suggest you leave everything exactly as it is until the divorce or separation or whatever is done. Just wait, let things play out. Making changes at this point could create new liabilities for yourself, or could screw him causing him to purposely screw you over.

Make him take your car and it's payments in the separation if it is more than you can handle on your own.
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Old 08-21-2009, 01:51 AM   #4
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

Does it really matter that it is a Mustang? Gee get what you are going to enjoy driving and what you can afford. You need a vehicle and if that is what they are willing to deal on then go for it. I doubt he will be fighting you once he moves 2000 miles away. Does he have the money to take you to court over it? I am not sure what he can do about the house, but he could probably get you kicked out if you don't keep up with payments.

I say find some other alternative to live. This is the thing about leaving is you have to be prepared to lose everything and have to start over. Is there any family that can help you out? Can you take temporary help from the State?

You will eventually need to go to court to settle all this business.
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Old 08-21-2009, 02:03 AM   #5
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

It sounds like he is trying to control you in every way that he can and as much as he can. If he doesn't get his way, then he uses y'alls marriage as a weapon to see to it that he gets his way or else it's over. I can't stand people like that. I don't see what they gain by being too controlling. You deserve the best. You worked hard to get your mustang therefore he can't say anything especially if it's in your name. There are better fish in the sea. I wish you the best and hope things work out for the best. Good luck.
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Old 08-21-2009, 02:24 AM   #6
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

Ok on the car, take the 4500 dollar trade in on it and get a hyundai sonata, you can get one of them brand new, and loaded for about 16k. also, you say we, so i assume kids, that = child support, and as far as the house goes, its marital property, so PUT IT ON THE MARKET!
you'll have to split the profits, but you can get somthing you can afford from your share of the sale.
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Old 08-21-2009, 02:45 AM   #7
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

If i was you I would look for a lawyer and try to sell house so you can get half the money. You need to get more confidence in yourself and know you can do it on your own. I think you should try to sell the car outright and see what kelly blue book says what the value of your vehicle is Good luck
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Old 08-21-2009, 03:23 AM   #8
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

The car should be the least of your worries. Forget about driving in style, you only need something to get you to and from work. Get something cheap with a warranty. I don't understand, are you getting a divorce or not? Without a divorce, you really don't have to do anything. It makes no sense that the house is in his name. Eventually you will probably have to get a divorce lawyer, otherwise he will screw you.
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Old 08-21-2009, 04:20 AM   #9
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

He is way too controlling and you cannot let him do this to you anymore. There has got to be a lawyer that can help you out somehow. I suggest calling around.
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Old 08-21-2009, 04:35 AM   #10
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Im seperating from my husband but he's still trying to rule me.. Advice Please..?

You are gonna be stuck anyway without a lawyer. I fired 2 during my divorce but I now have the best. I'd be careful to about separating without the paperwork. He may be waiting to catch you cheating if adultery is still on the books in your state.
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