Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious? - Mustang Evolution

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Old 03-26-2010, 04:45 PM   #1
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

My best friend said several things today that to a non-horse person wouldn't be that big of a deal, but to me are completely hilarious.

I brought him out to see my horses today for his first time. He was asking questions about them, and I was explaining etc. He was trying to sound horse smart, but I knew better.... =] haha

He said, "Well you can tell Koda is a purebred because he is black. I already knew Zoso was a mustang before you told me because he is mixed colors." I was like what do you mean mixed colors? He said "well his face is white and he has white spots all over, which means he his parents were different colors, and a lot of breeds are put into him." This is Zoso: http://i414.photobucket.com/albums/p...repics0054.jpg
He is just a grey! LOL mixed colors....

He was also trying to help me out because my saddles got stolen, and he said "I thought of this brilliant plan, that wont cost hardly anything! You can take the handles off of shovels for the feet things (he meant stirrups), just pieces of fabric to drape over your horses back, and a stick shift off of an old car for the front thing! (he meant horn)". LOL Can you picture that??? Not only would it be an epic failure, but I wouldn't be caught dead riding in something like that.

What have you heard non-horse people say that is hilariously wrong?
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:03 PM   #2
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

haha, there are so many things people say to me everytime I tell them I ride horses. This is one from my french teacher

Teacher: you ride those animals?
Me: Yea...
Teacher: One time I rode a horse and it wouldn't listen to me!
Me: really?! (sarcastic)
Teacher: Yeah! He just would walk really fast and I told him to slow down and he wouldn't
Me: Did you pull on the reins?
Teacher: What are reins?

My mom is non horsey and we were buying a girth, and so I let her do the talking for fun.
Shes like, where do you keep the seatbelts? The girl looked at her like, are you shopping for your car or for a horse? Then my mom started making gestures like squeezing her belly and Me and the tack store person burst out laughing for a good five minutes!

Another time I was buying some shipping boots and my mom started putting them on HER arms, I was like, mom take them off quick! She thought shipping boots were arm warmers for you when you are riding horses. I just fell to the floor laughing.

Now before I go to the tackstore (my favorite place on earth!) I explain what I am buying and what the use is. It's so funny though...

P.S.- when I first started riding my instructor told me I would be entering a hunter under saddle class, and I was wondering for months how I would learn to ride under the saddle, and I kept wondering why we wern't practicing that trick. LOL! By the way I know what horse lingo is now, a hunter under saddle class is based on the manor your horse moves and behaves while being ridden in a competition. I still crack myself up and wonder how I could've possibly thought I had to do that!
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:33 PM   #3
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

I remember i was getting a horse ready once, and this girl freaked out and wouldn't go near the horse because the horse was resting a foot. She kept saying, "When they put their foot like that it means they are getting ready to try to kick you!" I was just like, "are you freaking kidding me?"


People also always tell me to get my horse to rear. I'm just like ummmmm no.
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Old 03-26-2010, 06:22 PM   #4
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

During the summer people see my horses out with fly masks on. They ask me : "Why do you blindfold your horses?" "Can they see?" "Isn't it dark in there?"

Sometimes people watch when the farrier comes to trim the horses' hooves. And they cringe and complain "that has to hurt!" when he gets trimmed.
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Old 03-26-2010, 07:19 PM   #5
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

one day i was showing my mom (who barely knows anything about horses) a horse we were going to try in the horsetrader magazine. the horse was a warmblood so the ad said WARMBLOOD above the picture.
mom: awwww his name is warmblood! how... interesting

lol me and my trainer couldnt stop laughing
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Old 03-26-2010, 07:30 PM   #6
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

well, my totally girly girl cousin came to see me and i wax out with my horse he waz tied and she walked behind him and he did the worst a horse can do....he swished a fly with hiz tail. haha she screamed bloody murder!! hahahahahahahaha we still laugh at that story!! imagine this made up girl high heels and everything hahaha!!!
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Old 03-26-2010, 07:33 PM   #7
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

So do you like ride around in circles?

---no it's hunter under saddle

so you ride western? Like barrels and stuff

---no it's pleasure.

It's a pleasure?



You jump? So like over hedges and stuff?

---no. It's called show jumping



The list goes on and on.
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Old 03-26-2010, 08:23 PM   #8
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

at school we were doing a quiz and my teacher asked... what is put on a horses face for control? and one of the guys sed stirrups!!!!!! lol but i was the only one in the class that new the real answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-26-2010, 08:35 PM   #9
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

Oncee me and my cousin were driving past a horse field and the horses were laying down and she saiid : Mommy mommy the horses fell over ! i laughed soooo hard and my cousiin is 14 !
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Old 03-26-2010, 09:05 PM   #10
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

Someone saw my 13hh 2 year old and said "hey look at that pony"
I told them it was a baby horse...
"But isn't it the same thing?" lol

---Update--

I used to ride a Shetland,and one day he was laying down on a sloped piece of land (this was in a mostly metro-area) and these animal activist called the SPCA and said told them that a horse was sick and in a hole,and the since the horse was laying down it must be sick.
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Old 03-26-2010, 09:47 PM   #11
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

- When I tell people I do dressage and explain what dressage is to them, and they still think I am a jockey and race my horses. Then I have to explain to them that I don't even own a Thoroughbred and such, but still someone thinks I race horses.

- When people think that ALL of my horses are Quarter horses...I own two Hanoverians, two Connemaras, and two Haflingers, and they are nothing like a Quarter Horse. It's funny though when they ask when my Grand Prix horse is going to "run around the barrels" (referring to barrel racing).

- When people ask me if I can make my horse rear and other tricks. I reply no and explain that rearing horses are dangerous and teaching them tricks where all four hooves come off the ground is not a good idea. They usually reply with something like "well, I saw a horse on TV do it." I'm not the Spanish Riding School People!

- When I have to explain that a pony is NOT a foal.

- When people ask me to explain every move in the Grand Prix Special.
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Old 03-26-2010, 10:17 PM   #12
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

I've have had to many encounters with people who didn't know a thing about horses.

Person: "So have you gotten a horse yet?"

Me: "Yes." Thinking, *I've already told them.*

Person: "So you ride?"

Me: "Yes, but not as often as I'd like. He's only five and is big. Not tall, but big."

Person: "Why don't you ride more?"

Me: "I have the saddle. It's an Australian Stock Saddle. I got a girth that's to big though."

Person: "Girth? What's an Australian Stock Saddle?"

Me: "The girth or cinch is what holds the saddle on the horse. An Australian Stock Saddle is like a Western saddle, but with out a horn."

Person: "So you mean the saddle people jump over stuff in!"

Me: "No. It looks like the western saddle, but it doesn't have the horn."

Person: "What's the horn and what's the difference?"

Me: "I'll bring some magazines next time and I'll show you. never mind for now."
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Old 03-26-2010, 10:43 PM   #13
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

My friend and I were waiting in line to board a plane at an airport a few months ago. She knew I rode horses, but nothing else. On the news they were showing a re-run of the Belmont stakes. My friend turned around and asked "Does Blaze race?"
I answered "Of course not. Blaze is an average, 8 year old Standardbred. Not a high performance, top bloodline, expertly trained, sleek three year old Thoroughbred."
"What?" she answered bewildered.
"He does mostly dressage and I'm training him to jump. Those horses are worth a fortune and are about a world apart from Blaze."
Again she gave a look of complete confusion.
I spent the three hour flight explaining the complex world of horses and the many disciplines. Luckily I had several magazines in my bag to show her what I meant.

I was telling another friend that I had ridden a well trained hunter the other day, and that I jumped over 2 and a half feet.
She asked me "Doesn't it hurt when you land. Especially if you hit that stick thing in the front?"

Another thing happened when I wore a sweatshirt with a snaffle bit embroidered on it to lunch with the same friend as mentioned above. She looked at it and said, "You evil person. Why do you have weird handcuffs on your shirt?"
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Old 03-26-2010, 11:35 PM   #14
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

Ha, One time my brother came out to the farm with me. I was working with another horse and my brother was just looking around, he walked up to another horses paddock and then he came over to me with a really concerned expression on his face. I was like "I think you need to go look at that horse! it has something sticking out of its leg!" I was like what? I looked over, and one of its chestnuts was really long hahaha. I told him it was fine... he didn't look like he believed me.
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Old 03-26-2010, 11:40 PM   #15
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

My one friend was convinced that english riding was called eastern riding, simply because she lives next to a western barn and she had the chance to ride western a couple of times for fun, so by process of elimination the other type of riding must be eastern! We had a very good laugh from that one, she was so sure that eastern was what english riding was called.

A while back while trying to explain to one of my friends that I was going to a horse show, he assumed that it was a horse race. So he proceeded to act out the way a jockey rides and hits the horse's butt with a crop while riding an imaginary horse to try to explain what he thought I was doing. I had to tell him that his acting was very good, but that he was sadly mistaken.

Another one of my non horsey friends came to watch one of my horse shows and was utterly confused and terrified. She kept persisting that my horse was trying to kill her, that my horse was giving her dirty looks and sending evil thoughts her way. Though I will give her credit, she seemed to be picking things up that I tried to explain to her very well. Such as what a lead was, the different types of riding, the color my horse was (she liked that I used the movie Spirit as an example) and so on. As well, by the end of the day she spent at the show her fear of horses wasn't quite as obvious.

But I suppose some of the things that we talk about in the horse world sound pretty hilarious to non horsey people. Like when we were watching halter classes and we were talking about how that horse has a really nice neck, and that the one over there has a nice topline and butt. My friend was genuinely entertained that were talking about horses butts. Or when we begin to talk about the consistency, look, and smell of what is considered good poop, or spending hours grooming a horse that already to a normal person looks clean. Thinking about it now we really are some odd people!
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:30 AM   #16
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

I heard a story once of a little girl who said..

"Look mommy! The horse's feet are shaped like horse shoes!"

I also love the process of elimination..

Person: So what do you do?

Me: I ride horses.

Person: Oh so do you like rope cows and stuff?

Me: No, I ride english, that's western.

Person: Oh whoops. So you're a jockey?

Me: .....

Edit: Haha it's what happens most of the time! And then I tell them I dressage and then I COMPLETELY lose them XD
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:02 AM   #17
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

Wow, thats a big horse

Horses bite!

So you like rope cows and run around barrels right?

Horses aren't smart

Is that horse dead(he's taking a nap)

And then of course theres the other one, I didn't know horses could lay down!

Wow...i could go on forever
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:24 AM   #18
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

Good Question!! lol :d I love the answers so far!
Ok so mine are:
1. Aww... look at the baby (not a baby- a pony)
2. Horse back riding is easy. I then respond with, "show me". Then they shut up
3. I could jump 4 foot easily! You act like its hard!
4. Poor horse- they should be wild (this one drives me nuts)!
*Sorry this is all I could think of! I will write more if I think of some!
EDIT:
5. What is that mask on there face (ummm... fly mask)
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Old 03-27-2010, 02:07 AM   #19
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

I was feeding my horse a horse candy and this person asked "aren't you afraid your horse will bite?" LOL They had only fed long carrots and had no idea about keeping your hand flat.

My boyfriend is a great guy but completely clueless when it comes to horses, although in his defense after five years he has really retained a lot of info. He used to be completely convinced that horses trampled people to death like you see in some of those wild west shows.

I have had people call the halter a bridle and vice a verse a and then when I correct them they ask "well isn't it the same thing?".

I have had people ask "why do you pick the horse's feet up, aren't you afraid he will kick you?".

Just to name a few...........great question!

Add: I believe this is all just in fun, people need to laugh about things. I know there are some pretty silly things I have done that have caused a good laugh for other people, some I have joined in on. We are not laughing in the people's face for these mistakes, we are laughing about them here with others who do understand.

I firmly believe that my life was enriched because I laughed.
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Old 03-27-2010, 02:56 AM   #20
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

First of all to Karin C, get a life.

None of my family and very few of my friends are horsey so it makes for some interesting conversation.

The best one I can remember was my cousin was staying with us and the only contact she's had with horses is My Little Ponies. But I was mixing feeds early one morning. It was cold, frosty and foggy. She came running into the feed room early one morning, screaming her head off. "The horses are on fire, there is smoke everywhere!"

This one I hadn't heard before so I followed her out there and saw our horses with steam coming off them in the cold air. I cracked up laughing and had to explain to my very distraught cousin that they are fine. Her heart's in the right place, she just jumped to conclusions.
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Old 03-27-2010, 03:07 AM   #21
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

BFF: Horses stand while they sleep?! DUDE. Why! They like don't sleep then.
Me: If they lay down, their body weight can crush their lungs.
*We get to my school horse's stall, where she is laying down because she sometimes lays down for a nap.*
BFF: OHMIGOSH SHE IS DEAD!

That was the best thing ever.


We have a flea bitten grey at my old barn. One of the little girls visiting said 'Mommy said there were no polka dotty horses in the world, but that one is polka dotty! Can I ride her?' It was really cute!


Guy: You're an equestrian... So you wear those assless chaps, right?
Me: Well, if they had an ***, they would be pants. Which is why I wear breeches.
Guy: Oh, those sexy tight pants? That's hot.
Me: .... *walks away*

I was wrapping polos on my friend's horse, and someone walks over to me and says 'If that horse has two broken legs, shouldn't you shoot him?' Hhahaha I had to explain the concept of polo wraps.

I love it when people come up to me after they go on a trail ride and freak out. 'Ohmigosh I went horseback riding at my cabin! My horse was galloping!' I get them to describe the pace to me. It's a western pleasure trot. Every single time.

People: How many cows have you caught?
Me: That's western. I ride English.
People: Oh, so you ride like Seabiscuit and stuff.
Me: That's racing. I event.
People: So you...run around barrels?

These things always crack me up. What a fun question!
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Old 03-27-2010, 03:21 AM   #22
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

Haha my family aren't horse people at all, that makes the shows even funnier when they come.
My horse's sleazy and stable sheet, I was unloading my horse out of the trailer one of my family members asked what he was wearing. I said that it was kind of like PJ's, my family member said, "I never knew horses needed to go to bed to get PJ's!!"

I just thought of this one. For my senior year in high school I was taking a college speech class. I decided for a demo speech I was going to bring my horse and show how I get ready for a show. My teacher made a bet that I wouldn't bring my pleasure prospect. My trainer brought the trailer to school, so I did my speech, it was rather funny, my 4 year old pleasure horse is just standing there, I wasn't holding the lead at all, I was doing the speech. Anyway after the speech everyone was petting my horse and before I was telling the teacher that there was a fake tail that my horse wears. I took it out of the trailer and started to put it in, my teacher freaked, saying "You chopped off your horses tail, just to put it back in again"
This happened to my friend. Her mare had come into heat, well my trainer and I were talking about it at a show, anyway this woman touched the mare and said "I knew that this mare was in heat, she told me." That was a little strange but I still like to laugh at that one

I like it when my family tells other family members about my horse shows, they try to recap it, its pretty funny since I show both english and western, they confuse the events, they say "You should have seen her in that shiny saddle jumping, it was amazing"
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Old 03-27-2010, 03:39 AM   #23
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

First of all, Zoso is beautiful! I love his coloring ha ha!

Anyway, here are mine:

Why are you just doing boring stuff on the ground?

It's called dressage. (I would start explaining it here but we all know what it is.)

Boys who ride Western are dumb, don't you agree?

As long as they don't sit on the horn or post into it , I think they'll be ok!

*person is in major shock* Why do you have those awful bags on the horse's tail?

They are called tail bags. They don't hurt the horse at all, and keep their tail cleaner. They're just a pain for us ha ha!

(This was by far the dumbest) Keep your horse's head up more! He's stretching way to far downwards and that shows you have no control.

It's called "giving to the bit." I'm asking for his head to go down so he is actually easier to control in the end. (And by the way, it's not like his head was unnaturally low. We do dressage and it's normal for me to keep him on the bit.)

Ha ha that's hilarious how he thought just because the horse was black it's a purebred!

Hope this helps!
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Old 03-27-2010, 04:01 AM   #24
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

haha lol, thats so cute and funny! "oh yes.. he is a mustang because he has different colours mixed in him" lol.

Well a long time ago I was showing my mom a picture of this horse (I think it was just on the flat) and it had exercise bandages on and she said something like "oh well doesn't that mean that he is hurt" those weren't her exact words, and I can't remember what the picture was (it may have been something about the horses back?) but it was something along the lines of "isn't he hurt?" lol, it was really funny.

EDIT:

haha, to that person that said the jockey story- I have heard that one before! lol.

I was working at the camp that my barn puts on, today, and the kids are like 9 and younger, so when I walked my 15.1hh (very refined) hano mare through the barn, I could all hear them going "wow! thats a huge horse!" I told them that a huge horse would be sarah's (the owner's) big 16.3hh stocky warmblood mare (and 16.3hh isn't even *that* big) lol. I wonder what they would say if we imported an 18hh warmblood...
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Old 03-27-2010, 04:59 AM   #25
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

So I got my stud gelded when he was 9 years old. My ex thought he was such a horse person and knew it all. He walks out, asked why Harley was bleeding. I told him that I had the horses' sheath cleaned and it was normal. He looks under there and proceeds to tell his friend that Harley must be cold because he had his jewels tucked up tight. He never did find out I gelded him. He always thought they were just tucked up.
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:02 AM   #26
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

The horse I bought was very calm whilst in his paddock but the horse next door was a very spirited arab. The first day my Dad came down to see my bloke he was really sad for me thinking I got a dud cos my bloke wasn't "dancing" in the paddock like the arab next door who was racing round like a crazy. (thankfully my bloke was more sensible, a few months later the same arab broke it's leg whilst "dancing" and had to put to sleep)


He also told me while throwing the hay out one night that he couldn't get the bale to 'biscalate' correctly. I was in hysterics and he says "but it's called a biscuit right and it won't separate properly"

Gotta love em right??
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:04 AM   #27
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

"Oh Mummy look at those little horsies!"
"Yeah, they're the baby horses, they'll grow up like that one..."
This is a stupid common situation on the weekend, Mummy telling the kid that the freaking shetland and mini pony we have are baby horses! I have stepped in before and said yeah that's as big as they'll grow, they're miniatures and seriously the looks I've gotten from the parents who are just like wtf no way, I now just nod.
It annoys me when mum starts talking about coats, jackets and blankets, I'm like no they're RUGS (I'm in Australia, they're called rugs not blankets here)!
I helped my mum and auntie at a crossword the other day, one of the clues was horse dance and I thought oh yeah well that'd be dressage, it was prancing, I was like wtf says horses are prancing! wtf!
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:42 AM   #28
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

omg!!
they called a horse white.
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:04 AM   #29
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Simple things that non-horse people say about horses that are just hilarious?

Meagan, I have to take issue with you about the whole tone of your post.

FWIW, I find the idea of laughing at/making fun of someone's ignorance abhorrent. We all start out ignorant before we learn about something, and so all of us are vulnerable to being the butt of someone's humor who just happens to have travelled a little bit farther down the road of learning than we have. Do you like it when people make fun of your ignorance on a subject? I'll bet there are horse-related topics that any one of a dozen people here on Yahoo! Answers could engage you on and reveal you to be ignorant about.

Horsepeople are something of a vanishing breed in a lot of ways. If you live someplace that is a bastion of equine activity, you may not realize this; but if you go out to somewhere that used to have an active and numerous population of equestrians that has suffered through being subdivided and gentrified with non-horse people, you'd understand how terribly important it is to make allies, not enemies, of people who do not necessarily share our passion (or knowledge) of horses.

In my area of Southern California, I've seen a number of stables and equestrian centers bite the dust as they became "landlocked" by non-equestrian populations. The facts are, most people in America encounter horses about as often as they encounter animals at the zoo, and that's mostly the way they perceive horses.

These are the people who have input into zoning laws that restrict the presence of horses, that can place restrictions on access to public lands by equestrians, that can do things that severely restrict our activities and the resources available to us. You do not do the equestrian community any favors by making these people the butts of your jokes and implying that they are stupid. FWIW, among the non-equestrian set, one of the things they like least about us is the perception that we're a bunch of self-aggrandizing snobs.

Yeah, some non-equestrians say things that can leave us drop-jawed at their ignorance. So what? When I talk to people who have specialized expertise in things I have no exposure to, I'm sure I make some terrible gaffes and faux pas. When that happens, the people I appreciate are the ones who don't laugh at me, don't treat me like a moron, but are willing to make the effort to relieve me of my ignorance in a way that doesn't make me feel like a fool.

Making fun of ignorant people is just another way of patting yourself on the back. Do you really need that kind of ego-bolstering?
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