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Old 11-19-2003, 12:39 AM   #1
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11/19

Because I'm bored and because Ken has been derelict:

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After
a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.

Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their
perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone
at the side of the road in distress.

Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.

Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.

Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor ?????????????
(Scroll down ).

















Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and
there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling.
















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

Men keep scrolling










By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point:

Women never listen.
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Old 11-19-2003, 12:44 AM   #2
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GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z ' S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I ' M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE






And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you
rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter
only once):




TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
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Old 11-19-2003, 12:47 AM   #3
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Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.

The lab technician says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible!"

"What do you mean?" said Mr. Smith.

"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other
Mrs. Smith has tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife."

"That's awful!" said Mr. Smith. "Can we do the test over?"

"Normally, yes. But you have Blue Cross Health Care, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" said Mr. Smith.

"Blue Cross Health Care recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town.

"If she finds her way home,....... don't sleep with her."
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Old 11-19-2003, 02:20 AM   #4
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umm ok
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Old 11-19-2003, 02:24 AM   #5
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had to do something other than matrices, else I go insane
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Old 11-19-2003, 05:42 AM   #6
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LOL...
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