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Old 10-12-2013, 10:46 PM   #1436
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Have you spoke to anyone about it or tried to control yourself or is it at the point were you can't control yourself
Nobody knows Im dealing with it ... I guess I feel comfort in telling complete strangers but I realize I have a problem ... It's like when I drink I want to push every limit imaginable and I know it's not good. It's like I wanna drive as fast as I can Until i just crash and Burn ...

---------- Post added at 10:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:41 PM ----------

My wife wouldn't understand and if I told her she would be worried she can feel I have a side of me that says "f it" but she's the reason I've made it This far but sometimes I feel like I'm in the way and it be better off if my presence wasn't felt... When Im sober I'm good but there's always somehthin that tells me I ain't ***** don't know where it comes from but I find a way to f up ....
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Old 10-12-2013, 11:01 PM   #1437
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Nobody knows Im dealing with it ... I guess I feel comfort in telling complete strangers but I realize I have a problem ... It's like when I drink I want to push every limit imaginable and I know it's not good. It's like I wanna drive as fast as I can Until i just crash and Burn ... ---------- Post added at 10:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:41 PM ---------- My wife wouldn't understand and if I told her she would be worried she can feel I have a side of me that says "f it" but she's the reason I've made it This far but sometimes I feel like I'm in the way and it be better off if my presence wasn't felt... When Im sober I'm good but there's always somehthin that tells me I ain't ***** don't know where it comes from but I find a way to f up ....
If you want to crash an burn thats a deeper problem my friend i would suggest going to a center or someone that has experience and that way they can help you deal with the deeper problems you have my freind
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Old 10-12-2013, 11:10 PM   #1438
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Don't mean to be a buzz kill bro ... I appreciate though I'm just thinking our loud really

---------- Post added at 11:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:10 PM ----------

Out
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Old 10-12-2013, 11:17 PM   #1439
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Don't mean to be a buzz kill bro ... I appreciate though I'm just thinking our loud really ---------- Post added at 11:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:10 PM ---------- Out
no worries man
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Old 10-12-2013, 11:34 PM   #1440
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It's just ***** that's build up over time, i dont want anybody to feel sorry for me or anything like that ya'know I just have f'd up thoughts that I need to get out of my head sometimes. Like tonight i sat in my apt parking lot for like 30 mins listening to music contemplating if I should go to the store and buy somethin to drink ....
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Old 10-12-2013, 11:52 PM   #1441
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It's just ***** that's build up over time, i dont want anybody to feel sorry for me or anything like that ya'know I just have f'd up thoughts that I need to get out of my head sometimes. Like tonight i sat in my apt parking lot for like 30 mins listening to music contemplating if I should go to the store and buy somethin to drink ....
Likei said man thats deeper and you should talk to a real therapist there are a lot of places and sites oh can go to that will give you great help and info it's up to you to look for it n have the will
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Old 10-13-2013, 01:57 AM   #1442
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Doc I got a problem ... Probably the only person ie told this but I acknowledge that I'm an alcoholic
This is the first step man. If you really want to change nothing can stop you. It takes a lot to admit this problem there are a lot of help out there for this "problem" my moms side of the family is bunch a alcoholics and seeing how it has affected their family and it has mad me realize how destructive alcohol can be. Im not saying i don't like to drink with my friends or have a good time but everything is good in moderation. All my moms family can barley get buy and lives from paycheck to paycheck at minimum wage jobs because they cant keep a good paying job. If you really want to change then whats stopping you? You can do it man its never to late bud or too hard just start by having one less drink
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Old 10-13-2013, 08:29 AM   #1443
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I'll chime in and say my dad was an alcoholic for years and his and most others problems are that they only think about themselves. I am not trying to bash you but alcoholism affects everyone around you, EVERYONE. and it can also be caused by depression. My dad has been sober for over 10 years now but it took him attempting suicide to quit. Don't let it go that far bro, it's not work it. Not only are you hurting yourself, you are hurting others especially your wife. I would suggest talking to a therapist or a doctor about seeing if you should take antidepressants. Those mixed with a rehab facility and AA are what saved my dad. Like I said I'm not trying to blast you and tell you, you have to do these things, but if you honestly want to change then these are the steps to take. Good luck brother, it ain't easy but it's worth it if you truly love the ppl in your life.
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:25 AM   #1444
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I'll chime in and say my dad was an alcoholic for years and his and most others problems are that they only think about themselves. I am not trying to bash you but alcoholism affects everyone around you, EVERYONE. and it can also be caused by depression. My dad has been sober for over 10 years now but it took him attempting suicide to quit. Don't let it go that far bro, it's not work it. Not only are you hurting yourself, you are hurting others especially your wife. I would suggest talking to a therapist or a doctor about seeing if you should take antidepressants. Those mixed with a rehab facility and AA are what saved my dad. Like I said I'm not trying to blast you and tell you, you have to do these things, but if you honestly want to change then these are the steps to take. Good luck brother, it ain't easy but it's worth it if you truly love the ppl in your life.
Exactly, my grandmother was an alcoholic too. And she did finally end her life.. My family suffered a lot from her esp. my dad. Alcohol is a depressant so if you are already depressed it's going to make it worse. You are the only one in control of your life and you have to change it if you want to change. Best of luck to you!! It might be something you want to talk to your wife about this way she can support and help you.
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Old 10-13-2013, 10:14 AM   #1445
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Doc I got a problem ... Probably the only person ie told this but I acknowledge that I'm an alcoholic
You've taken the first step brother, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It's a long hard road, but I have faith you'll make it.
Good luck

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Old 10-14-2013, 05:08 PM   #1446
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Yea I had my man in the mirror moment so to speak, i let my wife know what was going on and she's always so supportive. Things are betters felt like weight was lifted off my back. I just know that I don't make the greatest of decisions when I'm under the influence of alcohol and few nights ago was probably the worst I've ever driven my baby and I know my wife worries about that every time I leave the house. And that's when you go " man, I'm really f'n up what i got going good"
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Old 10-15-2013, 02:05 PM   #1447
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That's the biggest life lesson I'm learning right now don't ever take anything for granted and look at all the positives you have instead of the negative I took a girl and all my friends for granted and lost everything it's the worst
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Old 10-18-2013, 11:14 AM   #1448
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I've been there brother. I started drinking for fun and with friends. My dad drank himself almost to death. Ud think that would have been a lesson for me but of course not. It seemed to make it easier sometimes. I did things I still regret. But when I decided to change bro, nobody or nothing could stop me. I had to decide for myself and work on it. It was me against the world. Nobody knew exactly what I was going through. One day at a time, one decision at a time. One moment at a time. That's how it gets better. That's how it gets easier. Don't try to bite it off all at once. Just take it one step at a time. We all got ur back bro.
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Old 10-25-2013, 08:25 AM   #1449
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In need of some woman advice.

Quick background. Been friends for 2 years. Dating for for a little more than a year. Moved in together 3 months ago.

My GF's ex has been being a d-bag and causing a ton if stress. Yesterday he was getting pretty bad. This put my GF in a state of depression... I swear. I tried being the loving caring bf by telling her that things are going to be fine to just ignore him for a while till things calm down. She said she wanted to be left alone. So.. I cooked dinner and let her be.
Told her and her girls to come eat, and she did not come. So I went to check on her, make sure she was ok. Gave her a kiss and ate supper. After cleaning up I went to try and snuggle up to her, show her I care and that I love her. She got off the couch and went to the other one. So I decided to just let things be.
I went out and put my new lights in the cobra and took off the DR's. About half way through putting on the street tires I get a text asking if I was done. ??? I wasn't, but I took that as a sign that she wanted my attention. So I went in to see what I could do for her. I hugged her and told her I had one tire left to put on and then I'd be done in 10min. She seemed fine with that.
When I got in she had gone to bed. I asked if there was anything I could do, she rolled over and put her head under the covers.

Sorry for the long story.....
My question is, am I wrong to think that it's unfair that I'm getting treated like dirt for something I did not do. (She was even short and crabby to her daughters when getting them tucked into bed.)
I tried lending an ear, I tried giving advise, and then I gave her space. In that order. I'm still in the dog house. She left for work this morning without even saying goodbye. What gives? At first I didn't take this personal, but now I can't seem to kick this feeling that I was treated unfair. How do I not take this personal? What do I do about her?
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Old 10-25-2013, 08:30 AM   #1450
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Women bro... Just give her a little time and space. Hope it gets better
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Old 10-25-2013, 08:39 AM   #1451
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In need of some woman advice. Quick background. Been friends for 2 years. Dating for for a little more than a year. Moved in together 3 months ago. My GF's ex has been being a d-bag and causing a ton if stress. Yesterday he was getting pretty bad. This put my GF in a state of depression... I swear. I tried being the loving caring bf by telling her that things are going to be fine to just ignore him for a while till things calm down. She said she wanted to be left alone. So.. I cooked dinner and let her be. Told her and her girls to come eat, and she did not come. So I went to check on her, make sure she was ok. Gave her a kiss and ate supper. After cleaning up I went to try and snuggle up to her, show her I care and that I love her. She got off the couch and went to the other one. So I decided to just let things be. I went out and put my new lights in the cobra and took off the DR's. About half way through putting on the street tires I get a text asking if I was done. ??? I wasn't, but I took that as a sign that she wanted my attention. So I went in to see what I could do for her. I hugged her and told her I had one tire left to put on and then I'd be done in 10min. She seemed fine with that. When I got in she had gone to bed. I asked if there was anything I could do, she rolled over and put her head under the covers. Sorry for the long story..... My question is, am I wrong to think that it's unfair that I'm getting treated like dirt for something I did not do. (She was even short and crabby to her daughters when getting them tucked into bed.) I tried lending an ear, I tried giving advise, and then I gave her space. In that order. I'm still in the dog house. She left for work this morning without even saying goodbye. What gives? At first I didn't take this personal, but now I can't seem to kick this feeling that I was treated unfair. How do I not take this personal? What do I do about her?


I agree she shouldn't have treated you that way .. Tell her how you feel if it bothers you. You shouldn't just push it away. It may only create distance ... Give her some time and then get it off your chest ..
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Old 10-25-2013, 08:41 AM   #1452
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Women bro... Just give her a little time and space. Hope it gets better
X2,,,just keep doing the things you've been doing, maybe give her some flowers or wright her a letter, just keep being sweet and helpful, just not pushy or invading.
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Old 10-25-2013, 08:58 AM   #1453
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How much time do I give before it starts putting distance between us? I gave her the whole evening last night. Supper, dishes, new lights installed, tire swap. Took all evening.

Flowers are a good idea. I should have thought of that.

---------- Post added at 08:58 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:55 AM ----------

A part of me wants to go do unlawful things to her ex. Or at least go tell him how things are going to be. But I know that will only cause more problems.
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:04 AM   #1454
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How much time do I give before it starts putting distance between us? I gave her the whole evening last night. Supper, dishes, new lights installed, tire swap. Took all evening. Flowers are a good idea. I should have thought of that. ---------- Post added at 08:58 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:55 AM ---------- A part of me wants to go do unlawful things to her ex. Or at least go tell him how things are going to be. But I know that will only cause more problems.
... How has she been today?

Maybe it was just a one night thing.. Has she ever been like this before? You seem like it really bothers you and you don't want that to lead to resentment.... =distance
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:20 AM   #1455
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... How has she been today?

Maybe it was just a one night thing.. Has she ever been like this before? You seem like it really bothers you and you don't want that to lead to resentment.... =distance
Like I said. She did not say goodbye this morning, I texted her saying that I loved her... with no response yet. She has done this before but it only lasted for an hour or so, not an entire evening. Every time it's after she get nasty texts from d-bag ex.

It is bothering me, because this is not her typical behavior. She usually snuggles up to me and I hold her tight. This time was off the charts different. Not like her at all.
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:34 AM   #1456
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Appreciate all the help guys/gals helps to vent and the advice has set my mind a little more at ease.
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:40 AM   #1457
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How much time do I give before it starts putting distance between us? I gave her the whole evening last night. Supper, dishes, new lights installed, tire swap. Took all evening.

Flowers are a good idea. I should have thought of that.

its up to her man, you could sit her down and just tell her when or/if she needs to talk to you about anything just to let you know, ask her if there's something/anything she needs you to do for her/ya'll/the kids...just keep being the man of her dreams man, your are doing the right things imo, you seem like a great guy by reading this so don't pressure/cause stress to her.

---------- Post added at 08:58 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:55 AM ----------

A part of me wants to go do unlawful things to her ex. Or at least go tell him how things are going to be. But I know that will only cause more problems.
it prolly would cause more problems, block his number from her phone maybe? ask her if you need to talk to this guy, get her opinion when she's ready to talk...you could look into a temp restraining order if you can get proof he's saying bad/nasty thing to her. my girl did that with her ex, but it was a diff situation.

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Like I said. She did not say goodbye this morning, I texted her saying that I loved her... with no response yet. She has done this before but it only lasted for an hour or so, not an entire evening. Every time it's after she get nasty texts from d-bag ex.

It is bothering me, because this is not her typical behavior. She usually snuggles up to me and I hold her tight. This time was off the charts different. Not like her at all.

that is wrong of her to do, she should of at least said bye and that she loves you this mornig, but she just needs time man. do some sweet things like I said and talk to her in person about this or other things, not through text lol
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:48 AM   #1458
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I think flowers ARE a good start.

Wish I could block his number, however they have two kids together and have to work out pick up and drop off times for visitation on his weekend to have them.

A restraining order may be in the future if he keeps it up. In my 35 years I have learned to be a patient guy, but this d**k is messing with the woman I love and are about. It's hard not to step in.
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:49 AM   #1459
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it prolly would cause more problems, block his number from her phone maybe? ask her if you need to talk to this guy, get her opinion when she's ready to talk...you could look into a temp restraining order if you can get proof he's saying bad/nasty thing to her. my girl did that with her ex, but it was a diff situation. that is wrong of her to do, she should of at least said bye and that she loves you this mornig, but she just needs time man. do some sweet things like I said and talk to her in person about this or other things, not through text lol
Agreed!
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:53 AM   #1460
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Appreciate all the help guys/gals helps to vent and the advice has set my mind a little more at ease.
Tell d-bag he has no biz texing her and the next time he does your gonna put a boot in his ***. I'm also sensing there's more than meets the eye, 2yrs is plenty of time to get over someone.

---------- Post added at 10:53 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:51 AM ----------

Disregard the last part, the kids together explains it. Good luck bro.
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Old 10-25-2013, 10:04 AM   #1461
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I think flowers ARE a good start.

Wish I could block his number, however they have two kids together and have to work out pick up and drop off times for visitation on his weekend to have them.

A restraining order may be in the future if he keeps it up. In my 35 years I have learned to be a patient guy, but this d**k is messing with the woman I love and are about. It's hard not to step in.
ah damn, I didn't even think about him being the father. just talk to your girl about having a conversation him. but I wouldn't get violent with him, even though that is what is needed but I would restrain from that, just try having a talk with him, with your girls opinion, and if it still happens after, get some kind of authority involved
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Old 10-25-2013, 04:49 PM   #1462
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Update


She has apologized to me and is currently cooking a special dinner for me. Something with shrimp in is all the info I have. Lol.
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Old 10-25-2013, 06:47 PM   #1463
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Update She has apologized to me and is currently cooking a special dinner for me. Something with shrimp in is all the info I have. Lol.
Oh good!!! Yay!
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Old 10-25-2013, 08:06 PM   #1464
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Update

She has apologized to me and is currently cooking a special dinner for me. Something with shrimp in is all the info I have. Lol.
Awesome
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Old 10-25-2013, 11:02 PM   #1465
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Update

She has apologized to me and is currently cooking a special dinner for me. Something with shrimp in is all the info I have. Lol.
Can someone say makeup sex
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Old 10-26-2013, 04:04 PM   #1466
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I make up sex in my mind all the time.

Real thing is 1000x better though
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Old 10-26-2013, 08:48 PM   #1467
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Appreciate all the help guys/gals helps to vent and the advice has set my mind a little more at ease.
Go beat the fuk out of the ex, tell him go take a hike. He's just asking for it. He's an ex for an reason.
Don't even tell your Gf that you're doing this.
Just make her problems disappear, if the ex is being a pssy by tale telling. Just tell her "if he can't take a beating without crying like a baby, why waste your time with him? Especially when he can't take a dump and not move on. Doesn't that make him a stalker?"

My moves might be harsh, but it does work.
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:19 PM   #1468
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Go beat the fuk out of the ex, tell him go take a hike. He's just asking for it. He's an ex for an reason.
Don't even tell your Gf that you're doing this.
Just make her problems disappear, if the ex is being a pssy by tale telling. Just tell her "if he can't take a beating without crying like a baby, why waste your time with him? Especially when he can't take a dump and not move on. Doesn't that make him a stalker?"

My moves might be harsh, but it does work.
Not good advice, he will take it out on the kids. I've been there an done that, the kids paid for my stupidity.
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Old 10-26-2013, 10:49 PM   #1469
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Originally Posted by tc x 4 View Post

Not good advice, he will take it out on the kids. I've been there an done that, the kids paid for my stupidity.
Then he go jail for abusing kids. I agree it's not good advice.
But it is very annoying to hear guys out there obsessing over girls when the girl dumps him.
Like seriously move on, you're just making her problem a big problem to her own friends, family. It's not right. Just move on. Stop harassing her, if she wants talk or be friends with you, she will talk to you. If you're just mentally draining her, you're causing lot of problems to her especially the people she is around with.

Millions girls out there, you go though a relationship. Doesn't work out, learn from your mistakes if any, and move on to other.

What's the point of harassing the girl over and over when you could've spent that time finding a new girl to spend time with?
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Old 10-27-2013, 01:02 AM   #1470
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I agree i think that you should sit down and have a serious talk with her about her ex and how you two as a couple will go about dealing and handling the problem together and that way you two will bond and get something done and that way both of you will be happier
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