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Old 10-15-2013, 02:40 AM   #1
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Woman Advice

Alright been asking a lot of people and figured I'd ask you guys here..

I've been dating to this girl for about a month now, and usually I don't stick around this long or get bored fast but she has my attention..

She's really sexy, funny, smart, and just fun to be around.. Works, goes to college.

Lately her " friends " who I don't even know or know me .. Apparently are saying how I'm a man-whore that I ****ed this girl and that girl which is completely bull****.

She keeps questioning me asking , and I keep telling her the truth.. I told her what she means to me, and how I'm telling the truth, she says she likes me a lot , and wants to trust me but it's hard. Which I can understand ..

If she keeps bringing those things up should I just tell her it's over.. I mean com on without trust there's nothing at all.. She keeps bringing her ex up and how she's not over him Aswell like wtf dude.. I know I know but I was in a long relationship before this one and it took a while for me to get over my ex but past is past I got over it.

Any advice ? I'm 20 btw about to be 21 in April .. A lot of guys are telling me to save my money.. And enjoy being 21 and go date and mess with as many women as I can.

Thanks lol
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Old 10-15-2013, 02:59 AM   #2
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Girls are into the chase thing. They like to know that a guy is gonna keep his interest in them and not leave them when they get bored.

You can tell her straight up that this thing you guys have might some day go further. And even if you just wanna be friends she needs to trust you even just a lil. Tell her that this is the perfect place to start building that

Don't tell her you got other girls lined up already haha

I'm 22 and don't have any *elderly* advice to give but women respond a lot to a guy who's genuine. So if your interested in her, tell her straight up, no bull****, that you are. (If your not but wanna be in it anyways ACT genuine lol)

But if you wanna just hit it and quit it, I have no advice on that since I've always been more of a relationship kind of guy. But have gotten a lotta women with confidence and *acting lol* genuine
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Old 10-15-2013, 03:02 AM   #3
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Girls are into the chase thing. They like to know that a guy is gonna keep his interest in them and not leave them when they get bored. You can tell her straight up that this thing you guys have might some day go further. And even if you just wanna be friends she needs to trust you even just a lil. Tell her that this is the perfect place to start building that Don't tell her you got other girls lined up already haha I'm 22 and don't have any *elderly* advice to give but women respond a lot to a guy who's genuine. So if your interested in her, tell her straight up, no bull****, that you are. (If your not but wanna be in it anyways ACT genuine lol) But if you wanna just hit it and quit it, I have no advice on that since I've always been more of a relationship kind of guy. But have gotten a lotta women with confidence and *acting lol* genuine
I've been telling her those things
If I was going to just play her I would of been gone along time ago. Idk
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Old 10-15-2013, 03:59 AM   #4
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enjoy being 21 :p
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Old 10-15-2013, 04:04 AM   #5
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enjoy being 21 :p
^^^ yup specially at the clubs and bars ha
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Old 10-15-2013, 04:41 AM   #6
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Alright been asking a lot of people and figured I'd ask you guys here.. I've been dating to this girl for about a month now, and usually I don't stick around this long or get bored fast but she has my attention.. She's really sexy, funny, smart, and just fun to be around.. Works, goes to college. Lately her " friends " who I don't even know or know me .. Apparently are saying how I'm a man-whore that I ****ed this girl and that girl which is completely bull****. She keeps questioning me asking , and I keep telling her the truth.. I told her what she means to me, and how I'm telling the truth, she says she likes me a lot , and wants to trust me but it's hard. Which I can understand .. If she keeps bringing those things up should I just tell her it's over.. I mean com on without trust there's nothing at all.. She keeps bringing her ex up and how she's not over him Aswell like wtf dude.. I know I know but I was in a long relationship before this one and it took a while for me to get over my ex but past is past I got over it. Any advice ? I'm 20 btw about to be 21 in April .. A lot of guys are telling me to save my money.. And enjoy being 21 and go date and mess with as many women as I can. Thanks lol
My girl was kinda like this a couple months into our relationship and truly i wish i set things straight back then don't get me wrong i love my girl but some times shes a lot to deal with when she gets insecure like that but if she keeps bring up her ex id leave. If she cant give 100% of her heart then neither can i. Oh a btw iv been going out with my girl for almost a 2 years
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Old 10-15-2013, 04:48 AM   #7
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If ur really into her I wouldn't just walk away but make it known that without trust there's really nothing..it might take some time to earn it 100% but then again u haven't done anything to make her not trust u so she should stop listening to BS rumors & focus on what's in front of her!

I've been with my girl for 3+ years & I'm 24. By the time I hit 21 I was over dating different chicks & all that! Quality > Quantity IMO!
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Old 10-15-2013, 04:51 AM   #8
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If ur really into her I wouldn't just walk away but make it known that without trust there's really nothing..it might take some time to earn it 100% but then again u haven't done anything to make her not trust u so she should stop listening to BS rumors & focus on what's in front of her! I've been with my girl for 3+ years & I'm 24. By the time I hit 21 I was over dating different chicks & all that! Quality > Quantity IMO!
+1 on quality over quantity
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Old 10-15-2013, 05:25 AM   #9
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+1 on quality over quantity
That's how I feel being single is more money and a lot more opportunities , but it feels good to have your girl right next to you, especially if your actually into her.

Idk I hope this works out if not oh well you win some you lose some.
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Old 10-15-2013, 05:37 AM   #10
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Coming from a girl...she isn't very mature and you should walk away. If she can't trust you then peace out! Enjoy being single! You will miss it one day!!!
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Old 10-15-2013, 05:54 AM   #11
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That's how I feel being single is more money and a lot more opportunities , but it feels good to have your girl right next to you, especially if your actually into her. Idk I hope this works out if not oh well you win some you lose some.
Yea it does feel good to have a ride or die chick by ur side..there's nothin like it! That being said u can force anything if it doesn't work then it's for a reason!
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Old 10-15-2013, 06:36 AM   #12
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Coming from a girl...she isn't very mature and you should walk away. If she can't trust you then peace out! Enjoy being single! You will miss it one day!!!
I feel your right.. But I can't just walk away just like that !
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Old 10-15-2013, 06:55 AM   #13
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I feel your right.. But I can't just walk away just like that !
Then run...
Too much baggage and drama for 20-21.
If she is blind to the respect your giving her, and she can't bring herself to fully trust you, RUN...
Have fun, enjoy being young. You'll know you found the right woman the moment you meet her. Good luck!
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:01 AM   #14
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Kinda the same situation man. I have been "talking" with this girl for a couple of months. And we really haven't said we are dating. I brought It up to her and she said some **** about us just "talking talking" for now. Just like you said man it's great to have her around she is great don't get me wrong but just don't know what is up with her. I would say man just give it some time and see if she changes and if she doesn't and it's getting closer to your b day then it's time for her to go.... Oooo and I'am also 20 going to be 21 in May
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:38 AM   #15
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Well...I can understand initially why she wouldn't completely believe you if her friends (which I'm assuming she's known for longer than you) were telling her about you being with lots of girls.

A month is not a ton of time to build up a trust level. But ulimately, she has to make a leap of faith and believe you or else it will never work. Just keep telling her that you are being completely honest...and that you really have never been so serious about someone before. I would think eventually she would accept what you're telling her as the truth as time goes on and you prove it to her by your words and actions.

As far as her mentioning her ex...now I think that's a little concerning. In all of my relationships (I'm over 40 years old)...I tend to steer away from talking about ex's and such. As you say, it's the past and it should just be left there. It's just never productive. You can talk about generalities but not specifics. Meaning just relationships and their dynamics...but not actual people. Without knowing how her previous relationship ended it's hard to advise. But I would feel uncomfortable as you with her mentioning it. How often does she bring it up?

Being 20...Yeah...that's great time to be alive. But I wouldn't agree with your friends in telling you just to go out with as many women as you can and have fun...coming from someone older - I can't see any way I would have ever done stuff like that and now look back upon it as something that I was proud of or held any type of meaning for me over the years. I was only ever involved with serious relationships. While it brought me some pain, I never wished I would have just went out and had a "good time" when I was older.

Hope things work out for you.
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:48 AM   #16
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We haven't texted or talked since last night .. Should I say something ?? Or just ignore her until she talks to me .. What you guys think
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Old 10-15-2013, 08:02 AM   #17
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Coming from a girl...she isn't very mature and you should walk away. If she can't trust you then peace out! Enjoy being single! You will miss it one day!!!
I was reading all the posts, but had to stop when I saw this one. It's a proven fact that women don't even understand women and that's why they all hate each other, BUT if you are looking for advice about women and dating one your best bet is asking another woman. I've had my fair share of "long relationships" (2-3yrs a piece), and even with all that time invested I learned that at my age then which was 21 that I got out of that 3yr relationship that I needed to focus more on myself. I had lost my identity over those 3 years, and as a result my school and friendships were suffering. I came to the conclusion that at that young age you can't expect that you will find one of those "high school sweetheart/happily ever after" relationships. Generally, if there are any red flags within the first few months like the ones you are describing, I say you hi-tail it the other way.

Having said that, I've been in a pretty successful relationship almost 8 months as of today. But I'm older, graduated college, and the girl that I am with is also a nurse with a degree of her own. I have found that when normal little day to day things like drama, money issues, or immaturity come into play.. It's young relationships that take the hit.

---------- Post added at 08:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:01 AM ----------

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We haven't texted or talked since last night .. Should I say something ?? Or just ignore her until she talks to me .. What you guys think
Red flag
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Old 10-15-2013, 08:18 AM   #18
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How old is this girl you are talking about??
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Old 10-15-2013, 08:20 AM   #19
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How old is this girl you are talking about??
Just turned 20

I'm a little older
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Old 10-15-2013, 08:34 AM   #20
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We haven't texted or talked since last night .. Should I say something ?? Or just ignore her until she talks to me .. What you guys think
I'am doing that kinda stuff to the girl I'am talking to now. Sometimes I wait sometimes I don't usually if I don't text or talk to her she will context me so that is a good sign so it's really up to you man
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Old 10-15-2013, 08:50 AM   #21
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Partnership is NOT ownership

If you have to explain yourself every time you go out, Everything you say, Everything you do. Be it Male or Female . You need to just get out of the trap your in before it is to late.

Jealousy, is really bad. Not having any trust in your supposed partner is really bad. If you do not feel comfortable with the person you are with you need to rethink things and move on.

A lasting loving relationship is based on trust and doing things together. Plus wanting to be together to do the things you both like. Not just part time but all of the time.

Find someone that likes the same things you do weather it is Car's, Playing Golf, or just watching TV together. That is what love and being happy and content is all about.

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Old 10-15-2013, 08:57 AM   #22
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Yeah I don't like that whole keeps talking about her ex thing.
Tell her to focus on what's in front of her NOW not before

Oh and I've been going out with my gf since I was 16
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:15 AM   #23
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I agree with everyone's posts here.. Bringing up an ex in a relationship is never okay. My ex did that to me and whenever I questioned her she would say "we're just friends." Long story short she ended up cheating on me and going back to him. If she can't be 100% committed to you and continues to bring up the ex then unfortunately it's probably time to walk.
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:15 AM   #24
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The power in almost all relationships primarily resides in the person who cares the least (or at least appears to). When you've figured that out, she'll no longer be asking dumb questions. Everyone can have suspicions of cheating. It just makes no sense to keep going if she either feels you're cheating on her or if she is constantly doubting you over things her friends are saying. Girls can be brutal in that way. Usually, the friends make or break the relationships. She barely cares that you could be the greatest guy in the world, as long as her friends agree and aren't constantly telling her to be careful around you. You can observe this phenomenon more closely in clubs. Watch the friends of any girl you start dancing with. If she's got her back to you and hasn't seen you yet, she will glance over at her friends, they will look at you and they will decide for her! You get the nod, you'll be fine,but if you get a no, she'll slowly try to walk away. Crazy right? Guys are a lot less complex when it comes to choosing girls. Is she hot? Yes... Proceed/ no....walk away or drink until your friends leave or she becomes hot.... Lol
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:17 AM   #25
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Blackedout damn that sucks man. My girl just brought up her ex last night when we were going to the store. I was pretty pissed but I just straight up asked her why are you bringing him up.
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:20 AM   #26
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Well we haven't spoke since , I'm just going to not attempt to say anything .. I've said what I had to say..

I mean I couldn't of said things in a better way,
If she doesn't give in to what I said than it's pretty much over ..

I just don't know , am I blowing this out of proportion ?
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:23 AM   #27
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Well we haven't spoke since , I'm just going to not attempt to say anything .. I've said what I had to say.. I mean I couldn't of said things in a better way, If she doesn't give in to what I said than it's pretty much over .. I just don't know , am I blowing this out of proportion ?
I mean man put it this way if it works out or it doesn't work out you can always say you tried. And if she doesn't see what you see then maybe iit wasn't meant to be in the first place. I wish you luck man
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:25 AM   #28
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Blackedout damn that sucks man. My girl just brought up her ex last night when we were going to the store. I was pretty pissed but I just straight up asked her why are you bringing him up.
I don't get it man.. I never bring up an ex I had when I get in a new relationship, cause I believe in 100% dedication. The past is the past.. We should be living only in the present and preparing for the future. Too many people live in the past unfortunately.. What did she say? If you don't mind me asking. Oh and my ex has been with him for almost a year now.. Hope she's happy lol.
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:37 AM   #29
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I don't get it man.. I never bring up an ex I had when I get in a new relationship, cause I believe in 100% dedication. The past is the past.. We should be living only in the present and preparing for the future. Too many people live in the past unfortunately.. What did she say? If you don't mind me asking. Oh and my ex has been with him for almost a year now.. Hope she's happy lol.
Yea I know how you feel man. We were talking about my friend and how he got back with his ex girlfriend and she just randomly said yea I don't know if I would get back with my ex maybe if we worked out a lot of ****. I was like wtf she said that right in front me!! I was like why are you even bring him up? She said her and her aunt were talking about it a couple of days ago because her ex randomly texted her and she replied to him and he didn't say anything back..... Well that what she told me happened. She could tell I was pissed and that she shouldn't have say anything.
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:40 AM   #30
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Yea I know how you feel man. We were talking about my friend and how he got back with his ex girlfriend and she just randomly said yea I don't know if I would get back with my ex maybe if we worked out a lot of ****. I was like wtf she said that right in front me!! I was like why are you even bring him up? She said her and her aunt were talking about it a couple of days ago because her ex randomly texted her and she replied to him and he didn't say anything back..... Well that what she told me happened. She could tell I was pissed and that she shouldn't have say anything.
See.. And I bet you anything that she didn't think she was doing anything wrong. If he would've responded.. Who knows what they would've talked about. And once you question her about it she would most likely just say " oh don't worry he was just seeing how I was since I haven't talked to him in awhile." I would be pissed as well man. That's one thing I don't miss about a relationship (not saying it happens in every one)
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:57 AM   #31
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See.. And I bet you anything that she didn't think she was doing anything wrong. If he would've responded.. Who knows what they would've talked about. And once you question her about it she would most likely just say " oh don't worry he was just seeing how I was since I haven't talked to him in awhile." I would be pissed as well man. That's one thing I don't miss about a relationship (not saying it happens in every one)
Yea exactly dude she just said it like it was nothing. I was thinking like really if you guys worked a lot of stuff out you would get back with him. What about me like wtf!!!! That's why it makes me think it's not worth going any further with her just in case they start talking you know. I mean from what she has told me she hates him and he is a jerk and **** and have been apart for awhile.
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:05 AM   #32
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Yea exactly dude she just said it like it was nothing. I was thinking like really if you guys worked a lot of stuff out you would get back with him. What about me like wtf!!!! That's why it makes me think it's not worth going any further with her just in case they start talking you know. I mean from what she has told me she hates him and he is a jerk and **** and have been apart for awhile.
Haha that's exactly what my ex said about her ex man.. " he's a jerk, I'm never gonna talk to him again, blah blah blah" and look where they're at now. It hurts man.. I know it does. I'd say to just give her your full attention (not saying you haven't) and see where it goes from there. If she brings him up more or starts talking to him again then you might have something to be concerned about.
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:12 AM   #33
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Yea i know what you mean man. We are happy together and ****. Just don't wanna get screwed over you know. That's the same thing I said to slow4v is just give it time and see what happens.
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:24 AM   #34
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Yea i know what you mean man. We are happy together and ****. Just don't wanna get screwed over you know. That's the same thing I said to slow4v is just give it time and see what happens.
Yup. Unfortunately that's all you can do. Like I said before.. Live in the present and prepare for the future. I'm in a tough spot with a girl right now as well :/
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:37 AM   #35
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Hmmmmm sounds like she's addicted to drama like most women in their 20s. If there isn't any drama to drum up they get bored if you want to keep her stir it up enough to keep her interested. Good luck
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