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Old 12-01-2003, 08:49 AM   #1
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12/1/03 ---> Today's post

FIRE TRUCK

A fire fighter is working outside the station when he notices a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders on the sides, a garden
hose coiled in the middle, and wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon
is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter takes a closer
look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with
admiration. "Thanks," the girl says.

The fire fighter notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I
wouldn't have a siren.
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Old 12-01-2003, 08:50 AM   #2
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At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,
and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying,

"I know the whole truth".


The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home,
and as he is greeted by his mother he says,

"I know the whole truth."

His mother quickly hands him $20 and says,
"Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work,
and greets him with,
"I know the whole truth."

The father promptly hands him $40 and says,
"Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day,
when he sees the mailman at his front door.
The boy greets him by saying,

"I know the whole truth."

The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says,

"Then come give your FATHER a big hug."
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Old 12-01-2003, 08:51 AM   #3
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A. The number of physicians in the US is 700,000.
B. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year is 120,000.
C. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(US Dept. of Health &Human Services)
Then think about this:
A. The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000.
B. The number of accidental gun deaths per year is 1,500.
C. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner 0.0000188.
Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous
than gun owners.

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.


As a public health measure, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for
fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical attention.
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Old 12-01-2003, 08:52 AM   #4
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It stands to reason that through the process of elimination there is such a thing as the worst doctor in the world.





You may just have an appointment with him today.
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Old 12-01-2003, 09:11 AM   #5
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those are great




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