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Old 03-18-2014, 11:04 AM   #1
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Favorite quotes...

I keep a bunch of quotes on a sheet on my computer, something I have kept for a long time. Some funny, some serious and some absurd, LOL. List your favorite... would love to add some new ones to the collection.

“When I was 4 I wanted to be a cook. When I was 5 I wanted to the rule the world, my ambitions have grown steadily every since.”
-Salvador Dali


"Don’t judge a man by whether he wins or loses but rather what he is willing to wager."

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” – Theodore N. Vail
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Old 03-18-2014, 11:19 AM   #2
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"If something is hard to do, than it's not worth doing."
-Homer J. Simpson
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Old 03-18-2014, 11:43 AM   #3
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Here's one of my favorite hilarious quotes:

"If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan" - Barack Obama
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Old 03-18-2014, 11:46 AM   #4
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"Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life."
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Old 03-18-2014, 12:00 PM   #5
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"It's not the wand, it's the wizard" haha
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Old 03-18-2014, 12:11 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StormTrooperV6 View Post
Here's one of my favorite hilarious quotes:

"If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan" - Barack Obama
Funny if it wasn't so damn scary. Dont even get me started down this road. My faith in the American people will never be the same.
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Old 03-18-2014, 12:18 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaplesStang View Post
Funny if it wasn't so damn scary. Dont even get me started down this road. My faith in the American people will never be the same.
No kidding. I work in healthcare, and most of us saw this a coming a mile away. Oh well, hopefully the next man/woman has a good head on their shoulders.

But to get back on topic:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
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Old 03-18-2014, 12:30 PM   #8
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.
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Old 03-18-2014, 01:30 PM   #9
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"We're not sinners because we sin, but we sin because we're sinners"

Nobody is perfect
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Old 03-18-2014, 10:08 PM   #10
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Ha when you're having a bad day...

"If it was raining p*ssy outside I'd get hit in the head with a d*ck."
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Old 03-20-2014, 05:49 PM   #11
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Probably my favorite quote of all time is from "Good Will Hunting" It still rings true even to this day:
"Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a ****. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ***. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his *** got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and ****in' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the ****in' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his *** is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure **** it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president."
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Old 03-21-2014, 08:17 AM   #12
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"The weak shall inherit nothing because the strong will have already taken it."

I think this particularly holds true in HP!! lol
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Old 03-21-2014, 08:53 AM   #13
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Here's a funny one from Don Roberts after he crashed at the strip.

"After the third flip, I lost control."
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Old 03-21-2014, 09:05 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SixBanger View Post
Here's a funny one from Don Roberts after he crashed at the strip.

"After the third flip, I lost control."
LOL (Literally). A similar one but cant remember the specific word for word...

We were at Lakeside speedway in Kansas City, KS and they were running modified's. By Cousin in law was in the race and rubbed a guy who flipped over the wall. Got out and jumped on hood like a gymnast dismount to show ok and everyone cheered. After race they asked him When he knew he was in trouble, he said, "When he looked out the driver side window and noticed either all the other cars were upside down or he was."
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Old 03-21-2014, 09:17 AM   #15
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Woman - "Sir! You're drunk!"
Winston Churchill - " Yes, madame. But come morning I shall be sober, and you shall still be ugly."

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Col. Sanders.

"The cheapest woman tends to be the one you pay for."
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Old 03-21-2014, 09:31 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KSconvert View Post
Woman - "Sir! You're drunk!"
Winston Churchill - " Yes, madame. But come morning I shall be sober, and you shall still be ugly."

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Col. Sanders.

"The cheapest woman tends to be the one you pay for."
Love it... and the last is true as hell!
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Old 03-21-2014, 10:20 AM   #17
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My favorite:
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Old 03-21-2014, 10:50 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bucko View Post
My favorite:

That's one of my favorites too. Lol
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Old 03-23-2014, 03:50 AM   #19
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"Killing time isn't murder, its suicide"
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Old 03-23-2014, 07:52 AM   #20
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I have a list of quotes as well. I started it because the new pledges have to interview every brother and a quote is a part of the process, so I wanted a list so I wouldn't have to search the Web on the spot. It turns out that I'm not too bad at making quotes myself. I'll just post a few this time. The first one is definitely one of my favorite.

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around -- and why his parents will always wave back
William D. Tammeus

Give a man knowledge and he can do what he is told. Give a man confidence and he will accomplish anything that he pleases.
Me

I would rather shoot for a star and hit a stump than shoot for a stump and hit it.
Marcus Luttrell
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Old 03-23-2014, 04:57 PM   #21
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My favorite: "the harder I work the luckier I get"

-Samuel Goldwyn


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