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Old 01-15-2004, 01:18 PM   #1
Ken
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I went to the store

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a damn cop writing out a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So I called him a pencil-dicked nazi.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires!

So I called him a piece of horse ****.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a ****.

My car was parked around the corner.


I try to have a little fun each day. It's important at my age.
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:21 PM   #2
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Drunken Cowboy

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.

The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"

"Sam," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.

With pain in his voice Sam replied,. . . . . . . "The balcony..."
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:32 PM   #3
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WHY there are Suicide bombers?







Everyone seems to be wondering why terrorists are so quick to
commit suicide.

Let's see now!!!!


No Jesus,

No Wal-Mart,

No television,

No cheerleaders,

No baseball,

No football,

No basketball,

No hockey,

No golf,

No tailgate parties,

No Hooters,

No Home Depot,

No pork BBQ,

No hot dogs,

No burgers,

No lobster,

No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks,

No gumbo,

No jambalaya.

Rags for clothes and towels for hats.

Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are

no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower. No chocolate

chip cookies. No Christmas. More than one wife.

You can't shave.

Your wives can't shave.

You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning

camel dung.


The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Someone

else picks your bride. She smells just like your donkey. But, your

donkey has a better disposition.


Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

I mean, really, is there a mystery here?
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:46 PM   #4
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are u serious u got that many tickets
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:47 PM   #5
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ooooooooo! now that i have read it again i see wut ur trying to say
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Old 01-15-2004, 02:13 PM   #6
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Ha ha, you're a little slow there man. I've haven't been on much but I'm glad to see you're keeping up the jokes there ken.
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Old 01-15-2004, 04:12 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.

She smells just like your donkey.

But, your donkey has a better disposition.
Hey man! What you got against Donkeys?

Cooked over camel dung?
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Old 01-15-2004, 05:03 PM   #8
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Quote:
ooooooooo! now that i have read it again i see wut ur trying to say
:no:
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Old 01-15-2004, 05:04 PM   #9
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u be quiet...im slow
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Old 01-15-2004, 05:07 PM   #10
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theres nothin wrong with that klam ive done that many times 8)
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Old 01-15-2004, 05:13 PM   #11
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I do it all the time it's just great to catch someone else doing it lol
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Old 01-15-2004, 06:06 PM   #12
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yeap
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