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Old 02-24-2004, 11:40 PM   #1
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GOLF IN THE AFTERLIFE

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that
there was no afterlife.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his
word, he made contact, "Mary...Mary..." "Is that you, Fred?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to
the golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have
sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex
pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course
again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts
again.'

"Oh Fred, you surely must be in heaven."

"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Scottsdale, Arizona."
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Old 02-24-2004, 11:42 PM   #2
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Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now
dead prince, she happily sits in her rocking chair, watching the world go
by from her front porch, with her cat Bob for companionship.

One day out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said,
"Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"

The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an
exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which
heart still yearns?"

After some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The
prince was wonderful but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to
mouth, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."

Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were
young and full of beauty and youth. At once, her wish became reality, and
her beautiful young visage returned.

And the fairy godmother spoke: "You have one more wish; what shall it
be?"

Cinderella looks over to Bob the cat, "I wish for you to transform
Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his
biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so
beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella enjoy your new
life." And the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.
Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly
perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking
chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in
close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered......................


"I bet now you're sorry you neutered me."
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Old 02-25-2004, 12:06 AM   #3
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good jokes.
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Old 09-19-2004, 08:18 PM   #4
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Here's some old jokes I just found that were pretty good...
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Old 09-19-2004, 08:35 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lowflyn
Here's some old jokes I just found that were pretty good...
what jokes? ............................
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Old 09-19-2004, 08:38 PM   #6
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lmao whats with all the thread ressurection lately
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Old 09-19-2004, 08:39 PM   #7
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thats a good question, but i get what lowflyn meant now, he bumped the thread b/c he thought the jokes were good.......
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Old 09-19-2004, 09:46 PM   #8
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I got bored cuz ppl aren't posting fast enough lol. So I'm finding old threads I remember from like last year and bringing them back up
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