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Old 05-27-2004, 12:00 AM   #1
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Dumbest, Funniest and Favorite Quotes thread

Politics - Dumb
  1. "We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." -- Bill Maher, Politically Incorrect
  2. "The Israelis know that if the Iraqi or Iranian army came across the Jordan River, I would personally grab a rifle, get in a ditch and fight and die." -- Bill Clinton at a Jewish fundraiser in Toronto this summer.
  3. "Mr. bin Laden used to live in Sudan. He was expelled from Saudi Arabia in 1991, then he went to Sudan. And we'd been hearing that the Sudanese wanted America to start meeting with them again. They released him. At the time, 1996, he had committed no crime against America so I did not bring him here because we had no basis on which to hold him, though we knew he wanted to commit crimes against America." -- Bill Clinton explains to a Long Island, N.Y., business group why he turned down Sudan's offer to extradite Osama Bin Laden to America in 1996 .
  4. "Lucky though he was, Bill Clinton never had his shot at greatness. He could lower the jobless rate, balance the budget, and console us after the Oklahoma City bomb. But he never got the opportunity George W. Bush was given [on Sept. 11]: the historic chance to lead. -- Chris Matthews in the San Francisco Chronicle
And one of my Fav Political Dumb Qoutes is:

"While the rest of the country waves the flag of Americana, we understand we are not part of that. We don't owe America anything - America owes us." -- Al Sharpton at the "State of the Black World Conference" in Atlanta

Politics - General
  1. "You support the presidency of a man who admits to defying and violating the Geneva and Hauge Conventions by the burning of homes and "free fire" of non-combatants and at the same time you cry for the resignation of a man who had people under him who violated the same conventions, that is hypocricy in my book."
  2. "Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation ... And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction ... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real..."
    -- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Jan. 23. 2003
Politics - Funny
  1. "The French don't have a word for entrepreneur." -- George W. Bush.

Celebrity
  1. "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
    George Gobol.
I'll add more later. To tired now
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Old 05-27-2004, 12:13 AM   #2
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well, this one isnt nearly as funny as those, but this is from my baccalaureate sunday night.

we had a black man from auburn university, virgil starks, come to speak. this concluded his speech, which i liked up until this point.

"You too can succeed. As long as I'm black and standing here alive, I will know success."
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Old 05-27-2004, 01:42 AM   #3
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Old 05-27-2004, 01:44 AM   #4
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"Sex with a fat girl is a lot like riding a moped....it's fun to do as long as your friends aren't watching."
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Old 05-27-2004, 07:06 AM   #5
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when I was at camp devil dog a few weeks ago we were all getting situated in the hooch, and a black guy showed up late with all his gear. At the time were were stringing 550 cord across the roof supports to hang clothing. The black man walks in and goes.

"Damn I havn't even been here for five minutes and all ready yall are ready to hang me."
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Old 05-27-2004, 12:27 PM   #6
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haha at brooks. reminds me of:

"Black people don't like bungee jumping. It's too much like hanging"
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Old 05-27-2004, 09:41 PM   #7
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rumor went around that my friend banged this really fat girl, like 5'8" 310lbs, i went and asked him about it, he was like

"yeah i f*cked her, but i nutted on her face so she couldnt talk ****"
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