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Old 08-17-2004, 07:59 PM   #1
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The old man..

One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke
to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and
meet with President Kerry."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Kerry was not elected
President ."

The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the
same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Kerry was not
elected president and does not reside here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the
very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet
with President Kerry."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man
and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking
to speak to Mr. Kerry. I've told you already that Mr. Kerry was not
elected president and does not reside here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just
love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."
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Old 08-17-2004, 08:00 PM   #2
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"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." -Jay Leno

"We make jokes about it but the truth is this presidential election really offers us a choice of two well-informed opposing positions on every issue. OK, they both belong to John Kerry, but they're still there." -Jay Leno

"John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq." -Craig Kilborn

"President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating." -Jay Leno

"Well the good news for Democrats, now over half the country can identify a picture of John Kerry. The bad news, the majority still thinks he's the dad from The Munsters." -Jay Leno

"John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them." -Jay Leno

"They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'" -Jay Leno

"Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card." -Craig Kilborn
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Old 08-17-2004, 08:05 PM   #3
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sweet
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Old 08-17-2004, 08:51 PM   #4
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Good Stuff!! I like the First one
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Old 08-17-2004, 09:29 PM   #5
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they are funny, but jay leno is a rip off, his writers steal more shiiat from people. its rediculous. everyone on here is against throwing badges on a car that it isnt , and i totally agree thats why i refuse to even read half of his crap. its mostly stolen. but the first one is definately funny and i want kerry to win. hah
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Old 08-18-2004, 12:23 AM   #6
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those are pretty funny. Can't say I've ever noticed Leno thieving material though, and I am big fan of comedians...
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Old 08-18-2004, 12:29 AM   #7
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that was hillarious epepecially the first one since we all know kerry is going to win
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Old 08-18-2004, 12:35 AM   #8
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we all know kerry is going to win
2:
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Old 08-18-2004, 01:39 AM   #9
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I don't care for Kerry.
I don't care for Bush.
I don't want either in office.

:-/
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Old 08-18-2004, 04:38 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 232stang
we all know kerry is going to win
uhh, no.

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Old 08-18-2004, 06:08 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seph
I don't care for Kerry.
I don't care for Bush.
I don't want either in office.

:-/
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