Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit
thinking and vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD
Democrat, however, there are some prerequisites you must have
first. Compare them below and see how you rate...
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a
lack of Federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same school system
that can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow the
best qualified to teach those same kids all about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of
law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S.
nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are
less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the
earth's climate, and more affected by Americans driving SUVs'!
6. You have to believe that gender roles are
artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment but
support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create
oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about
nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more
important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the U.S. military, not evil,
tyrannical regimes, start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it
supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU
is good, because it supports certain parts of the constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but
ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and
Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than
Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are
racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about
"progress" and not power. She just wants to help us out
of the archaic system of governing that we've been subjected to
since our founding.
17. You have to believe that the only reason
socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is
because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe Republicans telling the
truth belong in jail, but a cheat, liar and sex offender
belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in there in a New York
minute (if you could).
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades
displaying drag, transvestites and beastiality should be
constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas
should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party
funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of
the United States.
21. You have to believe that the vociferous
minorities who protest against prayer and saluting the
flag in school, the 10 commandments in court, have far more
rights than the majority who believe in God and country and
want these values to be instilled in our young children.
If you are locked in solidly to most of these
beliefs - you're gonna be a big asset to me