May 2005 - It's your future, my fellow Americans - Mustang Evolution

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Old 08-29-2004, 02:35 PM   #1
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May 2005 - It's your future, my fellow Americans

May 23, 2005 WASHINGTON, DC (AP) _ Congress approved sweeping legislation,which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.

"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.

President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.

Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%)

President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many cabinet_level jobs.

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important_sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non_performance_based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills.

"This new law should really help people like me."

With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."
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Old 08-29-2004, 02:41 PM   #2
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:beer: :whistle:
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Old 08-29-2004, 04:03 PM   #3
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that guy hasent been banned yet
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Old 08-29-2004, 04:20 PM   #4
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why would he be hes not doing anything wrong.
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Old 08-29-2004, 04:35 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon
why would he be hes not doing anything wrong.
Yeah, I mean who would ban our future president! ...
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Old 08-29-2004, 04:40 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrememustang1
Yeah, I mean who would ban our future president! ...
2:
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Old 08-29-2004, 04:46 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Kerry
May 23, 2005 WASHINGTON, DC (AP) _ Congress approved sweeping legislation,which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.

"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.

President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.

Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%)

President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many cabinet_level jobs.

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important_sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non_performance_based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills.

"This new law should really help people like me."

With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."
this is about stupid, and if it were the other way... i.e. Bush, he would've been banned long before now
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Old 08-29-2004, 04:48 PM   #8
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make a george bush name and good luck finding true facts to post
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Old 08-29-2004, 04:52 PM   #9
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would you look at the date of this post please? .... here it is again

May 23, 2005 WASHINGTON, DC

true what?
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Old 08-29-2004, 05:05 PM   #10
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it would happen thats why its true, my point is you can make a name as george bush and nobodys gonna care
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Old 08-29-2004, 06:18 PM   #11
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guys, don't get up in arms about it. It's a joke. Maybe this isn't the funniest thing in the world, but chill out.
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Old 08-29-2004, 06:35 PM   #12
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i sure love it.
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Old 08-29-2004, 07:28 PM   #13
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wow if there was a George Bush on the website I know I wouldnt be getting pms from certain people asking for the name to be banned.

It works both ways guys. John Kerry isnt causing any problems. If you dont like the posts then dont look at them....
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Old 08-29-2004, 09:01 PM   #14
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wow im confused. theres a john kerry now that is obviously against himself, and now a george bush pops up and tries to do the same thing. everyone vote for me, ill kick both in the nutz.
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Old 08-29-2004, 09:28 PM   #15
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george speaks as himself kerry speaks against himself lol
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Old 08-30-2004, 07:04 PM   #16
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These posts are actually pretty interesting....and fun to read.
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Old 08-30-2004, 07:37 PM   #17
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too bad its over
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Old 08-30-2004, 09:15 PM   #18
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well, when some people can't be relatively mature about it and handle it, then Brent doesn't have much of a choice other than to put a stop to it.
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