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Old 02-12-2009, 08:56 AM   #1
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The Accident

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor
comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you
probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but.....
something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is,
your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new
willy that will work as well as your old one did -better in fact! But
the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you
to decide
how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with
your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to
go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine
inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this
time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role
in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next
day.
'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has,' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting new countertops.'
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Old 02-12-2009, 09:03 AM   #2
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Re: The Accident

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Old 02-12-2009, 10:06 AM   #3
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Re: The Accident

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Old 02-12-2009, 10:09 AM   #4
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Re: The Accident

nice
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Old 02-12-2009, 10:36 AM   #5
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Re: The Accident

hehe
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Old 02-12-2009, 11:22 AM   #6
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Re: The Accident

lololol
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Old 02-12-2009, 01:51 PM   #7
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Re: The Accident

spoken from a true married man
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Old 02-12-2009, 02:31 PM   #8
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Re: The Accident

Quote:
Originally Posted by hottcobra View Post
spoken from a true married man
I now the feeling !!!!! Once again the mod money is going to the house AC unit took a dump. Buddy of mine does AC work so he's gonna replace the 4 ton unit for 3,200.00 So there goes my tax return + the mod money
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Old 02-12-2009, 02:35 PM   #9
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Re: The Accident

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herbstang View Post
I now the feeling !!!!! Once again the mod money is going to the house AC unit took a dump. Buddy of mine does AC work so he's gonna replace the 4 ton unit for 3,200.00 So there goes my tax return + the mod money
And that's why I am in no rush to get married now. After my last relationship failed. I enjoy being single life is less stressful lol.
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Old 02-12-2009, 02:49 PM   #10
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Re: The Accident

Ah, marriage...yeah, fun times. lol
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Old 02-12-2009, 02:55 PM   #11
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Re: The Accident

and why I don't want to own a house right now. Too much maintenance.
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Old 02-12-2009, 03:09 PM   #12
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Re: The Accident

id kill my wife if she said that....
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Old 02-12-2009, 06:16 PM   #13
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Re: The Accident

Good joke! Sorry bout ur mod$!! That sucks! But i got one.

A man goes to the doctor and says

"doctor, i'm having a problem having sex"

doctor asks "what's the problem?"

"i'm having a problem with cumming too fast! My wife's getting really mad & i'm getting really anoyed. Is there anything i can do to prevent this!?"

doctor replies

"well, premature ejaculation is a common problem. it is fairly easy to resolve. the problem is that your'e getting excited too fast! next time you have sex and you feel your about to cum try to startle yourself and break your concentration! try it tonight and let me know how it turns out for u tomorrow!"

"thanks doctor, i think i understand"

so the man leaves the doctors office and goes and buys a starter pistol to help him startle himself when he feels he's about to pop!! he takes the doctors advice and tries his mojo with his wife. there playing around and doing a 69 when suddenly he feels he's about to pop!! so he fires his pistol and startles himself and breaks his concentration!

the next day he goes to the doctor

doctor asks
"so how did things go last night?"

"well doctor, not good. i fired my gun when i was about to pop and my wife pissed on my face, bit 3 inches off my cock and the neighbor ran out the closet naked!!"
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Old 02-12-2009, 06:29 PM   #14
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Re: The Accident

i don't get it.

i guess i'm a dumb ***
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Old 02-12-2009, 07:08 PM   #15
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Re: The Accident

well not only was she having an affair with him because he cums to fast. she also pissed on his face and bit his cock!
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Old 02-12-2009, 11:08 PM   #16
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Re: The Accident

LOL, thats nice.
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Old 02-13-2009, 06:21 AM   #17
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Re: The Accident

lol another good one
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Old 02-13-2009, 11:24 AM   #18
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Re: The Accident

once again id kill the *****.
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Old 02-17-2009, 06:29 PM   #19
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Re: The Accident

i was married once dont plan on doing so again anytime soon but i agree i would kill the *****
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Old 02-19-2009, 04:24 PM   #20
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Re: The Accident

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Old 02-20-2009, 09:36 AM   #21
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Re: The Accident

Yeah I thought about all that killing the ***** **** But the sex is sooo damn good !!!! the only mods I want to do are springs, C/C and some high flow cats maybe L/T if I can find a shop to reverse the header flanges and maybe get a little more road clearance would hate to lose'em over the first speed bump
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