Please note that Texas
is the only state with a legal right to secede
from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of
We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins
president over Bush.
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the
results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks
from Texas are considering taking matters into their own hands.
Here is our solution:
#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic Of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (we will control the space
2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with
Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need
for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those
northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing
computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments,
Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel,
AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor,
Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer
research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world
and other large health planning centers.
8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT, Texas A&M, Texas Tech,
Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University,
etc. ---- Ivy grows better in the south anyway !
9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need
10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and
the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody
down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an
army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can
always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a
couple Texas Rangers.
12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several
types of grain, fruit and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from
the Gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they
taste good. Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas
in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:
Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only
President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon
SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your
communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but
since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.
Signed, The People in Texas
Have a nice day!