Mildred and Chester knew each other from childhood but were in their
Seventies when they got married. They had to wait for Mildred's mother
to pass away first. Back in those days there was no hanky-panky
before marriage so Chester and Mildred were both still virgins.
Needless to say Chester was pretty excited on their wedding night,
having waited so patiently all these years. However, Mildred was very
apprehensive as she had developed a heart condition and would have to
tell Chester that they could not "do it."
Chester is now sitting on the bed wanting Mildred to hurry up. He
detects a little reluctance on her part. Thinking that she is shy he
sends her off to the bathroom to get undressed. When she reappears in her
satin nightie, he gets her to sit next to him on the bed. Not knowing
how to get things started, he pulls the first strap on her nightie.
She blushes just as red as the nightie. She is really concerned about
telling Chester about her heart condition. In the meantime Chester is
looking at the first breast he has seen up close since his own
mother's. It is hanging there down to her belly button, gravity having
taken its toll over some sixty years.
He realizes her anxiety but figures she is going have to be helped a
little more, so he pulls the second strap and sees the second breast
unroll downward before him.
Poor Mildred is now beside herself. She is going to have to tell
Chester about her heart. With a quivering voice and mustering up all her
courage, she says, "Chester I have acute angina."
Chester says, "I hope so, 'cause you've sure got ugly tits."
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