-"Your lucky that double shot of Barbecue sauce didn't blow the welds on your nugget box.."
-"Now me and the mad scientist gotta rid apart the block and replace the onion rings you fried"
-"so check it out, i lose, the winner takes my double cheeseburger clean and clear. If i win i take the nuggets and the respect"
-'nuggets?!'
-"yeah nuggets,to some people thats more important."
-"I Live My Life a 1/4 Pounder at a Time...In Those 10 Seconds or less...No Other Burger Matters"
-"What's this?"
-"It's a map........to Fast Food Wars." "If you flip burgers well there, then we'll talk".
-"man you should be going to hamburger university or something"
-'yeah right... nah i got that,damn what is it called uncontrollable overeating syndrome...'
-"oh fatass syndrome"
-'yes that sh*&'
-"Hey Dominic, why'd you bring the Hamburglar back here?"
-"BECAUSE THE HAMBURGLAR KEPT ME OUT OF CUFFS!! He did'nt just go running back to the Golden Arches!"
-Dom: You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your burger... Single handed not double fisting like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of Coke didn't blow the welds on the cup! You almost had me?
Dom: Now, me and the mad scientist got to rip apart the block... and replace the onion rings you fried.
Dom: Ask any fatass, any real fatass. It doesn't matter if you eat a 1/4 pounder or 1/4 pounder with cheese; eating is eating.
Brian: Mia, I'm anorexic.
Mia: What are you talking about, Brian?
Brian: Ever since I met you, I've been anorexic. I'm anorexic.
Mia: Oh, you bastard. You bastard!
Hector: Nice burger. Whatcha got under that bun?
Hector: You're gonna make me find out the hard way? You're brave! You're brave. They call me Hector. Got a last name too, but I can't pronounce it.
Brian: Brian Earl Spilner.
Hector: Typical white boy name.
Edwin: It's not how you stand by McDonalds, it's how you eat your McDonalds.
Vince: Why don't you try Fat Burger from now on? You can get yourself a cheese and fries for 2.95, *****!
Brian: I like the tuna here.
Vince: BS arsehole, no one likes the tuna here!
Brian: Yeah well I do.
Dom: Jesse, since you were the first to reach in and grab a Bic Mac, why don't you say grace?
Jesse: Dear Heavenly... uh...
Leon: Spirit.
Jesse: Spirit. Thank you. Thank you for super size, double cheeseburgers, diet cokes, and size 18 thongs. Amen.
Leon: Amen!
Dom: Very nice.
Letty: He was praying to the fat gods.
-"Brian, this is one of those times when you need to be very clear about what you say. What are you doing down here?"
"What am I doing here? I owe you a Specialty Burger. And what this is about is Fast Food Wars. I just when into Burger King, and their Secret Sauce has mayonaise, ketchup, mustard, and Thousand Island dressing."
"So what are you saying? Your gonna go into every fast food place and check out their Secret Sauce?"
"Yeah, because Dom, you know I can't lose again".
"He's a Health Inspector. He's a Health Inspector!!"
"Are you a Health Inspector?"
-Brian: What's the retail on the number one supersized?
Ferrari Driver: More than you can afford pal.
Dom: [turning to Brian] Oh! It has Smoked bacon.
-Brian: Hey, what's up, Jesse? What kind of sammich do you have in your hand?
Jesse: Turkey, lettuce tomato just like you like em.
Brian: Turkey sammich? For who? UM??
Jesse: Yeah.
Brian: You can't give UM my favorite sammich!
Jesse: It's all right. It ain't free. This fool is givin' me a whole $20.00. I'll deliver. Then me and my dad can bbq together when he gets back from the store. It's all good.
Brian: Well, he's gonna have to go BACK to the store when he gets home!
-"You know what? This will decimate all... after we put about fifteen or more patties under the bun. If we have to, overnight some fries from Wendy's."
-"I saw Ronald about a week later. I had the burger in my hand... and I bit him! And I didn't mean to keep biting him, but by the time I was done, I couldn't lift my jaw. He's a clown at a burger joint. He has to take the bus to work... and they banned me from the arches for life.
-"Mia: Big Bacon Classic with fries. No bun, right?
Brian: I don't know. How is it?
Mia: Every day for the last three weeks you've been coming in here and you've been asking me how the burgers are. Now, they were fatty yesterday, they were fatty the day before and guess what? It hasn't changed.
Brian: I'll have the combo 4.
Mia: No bun?
Brian: No bun."
-"I topped out at 1400 calories yesterday.
Fries, I need Fries.
Gimme two of the big ones."
