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Discussion Starter #1
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"






The driver says, "'Bout what?"
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.

When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"


"Jes' some chickens."


"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"



"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "


OK. Ummmmm...five?"
 

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Discussion Starter #3
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more? Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.


:D
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

:headbang:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Where was the toothbrush invented?



















Arkansas.


If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
















The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

:rolleyes:
 

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Discussion Starter #10
A new law was recently passed in South Carolina so that when a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?















No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?












When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
A GIRL'S PRAYER

Lord, before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who's loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big's my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a'twitchin,
In the hall, in the garden and in the kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempt to hit on my friend.
Amen.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
A GUY'S PRAYER


Lord, I pray for a nympho with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and likes to fish.


Amen.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Newspaper headlines Year 2035



Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops &livestock.

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be im ported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.



Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Mental Capacity Test

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional".

Scroll down for each answer.




The questions are not that difficult.









Questions:

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
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The correct answer is:
Open the refrigerator door, put in the giraffe and close the door.

This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an
overly complicated way.

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2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
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Wrong Answer:
Open the refrigerator door, put in the elephant and close the
refrigerator.

Correct Answer:
Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and
close the door.

This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your
actions.

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3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend except one.
Which animal does not attend?
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Correct Answer:
The Elephant.
The Elephant is in the refrigerator.
This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first
three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show
your abilities.
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4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by
crocodiles. How do you manage it?
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Correct Answer:
You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal
Meeting.

This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong.
But many preschoolers got several correct answers.
AndersonConsulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that
most professionals have the brains of a four year old.



So how did you guys do
 

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People always hatin on Alabama


Well when you think about it Brent it is the HOMO, green party, liberal ass, anti gun, PETA members, veggitarian, atheist from the North East and the west coast that say stuff about Alabama. Which is good because we dont need there Liberal gay asses in the south BY GOD!!!!

They have done a really good job of F&%*ing up their own states and want to F*&% ours up now!!!!!

I say they should just remember Bubba's have guns and we use them

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :shock: :D
 
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