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Premium Member
1,350 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
California's new governor has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, if
nobody will be offended, "Austrionics").

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of
the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful, and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou", and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza.

Premium Member
19,890 Posts
Ha ha, hilarious, took a minute to comprehend but awesome.

1,895 Posts
I like arnold... he's refunding the outrageuos price hike that davis did on our registration... I had to pay almost 300 for my V6 registration! Now, I'll be getting about 175 back :D. My mom's PT Cruiser was almost 400.. and god knows what my dads 02 GT Vert cost him :shock:
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